mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #21  February 15,2011, 10:52am
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mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

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ami1uwant wrote :
creepyness is in the eye of the beholder.
^^^^^This.

Years ago my friend wanted to set me up with her BF's best friend, so we all went out on a double date. All night, this guy kept saying "Doesn't make you a bad girl...", no matter what I had said. If I said "I prefer Pepsi over Coke" he would reply "Doesn't make you a bad girl..." WTH? I thought that was creepy, but not in an obvious sort of way. There was just.... something...
My friend says hopefully: "So?!?!?" Nah, not going to happen. "C'mon, why not? He's into you!". IDK, I just think he's kind of "creepy".

One more thing, your screen name is "leafsg". Recently there was a thread from another poster with the screen name "leafs1". His thread was about... well... "leaf". Could that be what creeps women out? Not saying that's why you chose that screen name.... Just a thought...
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #22  February 15,2011, 11:46am

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I agree that creepiness is in the eye of the beholder and even, in some cases, that pressing an interest that isn't wanted is creepy or can quickly become that way. However, there are some things men have said to me that qualify as particularly creepy, such as:

"I always see you around the neighbourhood. Do you live alone?" (This from a complete stranger on a bus who followed me off said bus and attempted to persuade me to show him where I lived.)

"I've been trying to figure out where you live." (Also from a stranger, but one who would follow me around my neighborhood on his rollerblades and lurch along several city blocks to catch up with me if saw me somewhere.)

"I would love to show you the artwork in the culverts around Regina." (Culverts. Indeed. This gem also broke into my apartment building and left a seriously freaky note under my door detailing how he would wait ten years for me to prove his devotion to me and even give up his Pink Floyd albums if it made me happy, and also left long, rambling phone messages that filled up my message manager. He also turned up at my office one day with Advil, "In case you had a headache." I never told him where I worked. Turns out he was known to the police because some other woman reported him for stalking before I did. Yay!! )

"Go away! Leave her alone!!" (This guy leapt up in the middle of dinner and began shouting to something he could apparently "see" hovering over me that I could not, while waving his arms around and batting at the air over my head. Just a little freaky! lol)

"Would you like to come back to my place and see my collection of knives and swords?" (On a first date.)

Those struck me as rather extraordinarily creepy, but that's just me. lol
Last edited by lindseyk; February 15,2011 at 11:50am.
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #23  February 15,2011, 12:09pm
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I don't thing there is anything specifically "creepy" but rather "inappropriate". When something comes off as creepy, to a lady, it is usually because it was inappropriate at that time to say or do.

A woman talking about what she would like to name her children is not creepy if she is pregnant or in a relationship were there are talks of having children in the future.

I woman talking about what she would like to name her children is creepy if she is on a first date.

A man who I have been dating for a year, pulling me aside at a party and telling me I look so good he wants to tie me up and bang me can be sexy.

A man who I have known for two hours at a party who pulls me aside and tells me I look so good he wants to tie me up and bang me is creepy.

It is all about timing and what is and what is not appropriate. If you are coming off as creepy to women, you probably need to just brush up a little bit on your social skills and what is appropriate and not appropriate behavior around the ladies.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #24  February 15,2011, 2:06pm
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If a woman finds you unattractive and/or having poor social skills and you approach her she will find you creepy.
 
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livincarefree is offline livincarefree Post #25  February 15,2011, 2:18pm
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lindseyk wrote :
I agree that creepiness is in the eye of the beholder and even, in some cases, that pressing an interest that isn't wanted is creepy or can quickly become that way. However, there are some things men have said to me that qualify as particularly creepy, such as:

"I always see you around the neighbourhood. Do you live alone?" (This from a complete stranger on a bus who followed me off said bus and attempted to persuade me to show him where I lived.)

"I've been trying to figure out where you live." (Also from a stranger, but one who would follow me around my neighborhood on his rollerblades and lurch along several city blocks to catch up with me if saw me somewhere.)

"I would love to show you the artwork in the culverts around Regina." (Culverts. Indeed. This gem also broke into my apartment building and left a seriously freaky note under my door detailing how he would wait ten years for me to prove his devotion to me and even give up his Pink Floyd albums if it made me happy, and also left long, rambling phone messages that filled up my message manager. He also turned up at my office one day with Advil, "In case you had a headache." I never told him where I worked. Turns out he was known to the police because some other woman reported him for stalking before I did. Yay!! )

"Go away! Leave her alone!!" (This guy leapt up in the middle of dinner and began shouting to something he could apparently "see" hovering over me that I could not, while waving his arms around and batting at the air over my head. Just a little freaky! lol)

"Would you like to come back to my place and see my collection of knives and swords?" (On a first date.)

Those struck me as rather extraordinarily creepy, but that's just me. lol
Oh wow, you win the weirdest creepy experiences award!
 
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whiteowl4 is offline whiteowl4 Post #26  February 15,2011, 2:46pm
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To give an eHarmony-specific example, I once asked the question regarding "Simple Pleasures" as a part of guided communication to a guy.

He response? Sex, with an emoticon or two.

I have no issues with sex, per se, as a part of a loving relationship. However, that response when we were just getting to know each other made me think that he wasn't looking for a relationship and was instead only looking for sex. (I closed out his profile.)

Otherwise, I'll echo what other people have said here. Some of the things that set off my Creep-O-Meter are more of the "bad feeling" nature than a "any guy who says X is a creep" sort of deal. Body language, tone of voice, and - yes - whether or not I'm interested in you will all affect my reaction.

If you can give specific examples of what has creeped out women in the past, we can probably offer better advice. (i.e. whether it's those actions in particular that were the problem or more of a lack of interest on the part of the lady)
 
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psalm1thirty9 is offline psalm1thirty9 Post #27  February 15,2011, 3:01pm
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I think a lot of these comments are pertinent to your question but it also comes down to comfort level and how long and well you've know each other.

If I'm just getting to know some guy, then like some have mentioned, the thought of a conversation leading to sexual innuendos, is a real turn off. I'd want to be much more than that in the eyes of the man I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with. There is a time and place for everything...

Another one would be inconsistencies in what they say, and who they portray themselves as being.

Advancing too quickly toward the "marriage" talk is a bit much when you hardly know each other.

Being too needy or clingy is to me a sign of desperation. I'd be looking for strengths in his character that demonstrate qualities of balance in both his personal and professional life.

And I know much more could be added to that list...Generally speaking though, If all of the above have been seen to in the most appropriate way on your part and you're still running into problems, it's probably more to do with the chemistry (or lack of it) between the two of you and not so much that you're doing something "wrong".

That's just a matter of waiting for the right one...Even if the wait is a bit longer than anticipated unfortunately.
 
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whiteowl4 is offline whiteowl4 Post #28  February 15,2011, 3:09pm
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psalm1thirty9 wrote :
Advancing too quickly toward the "marriage" talk is a bit much when you hardly know each other.
See, for me, this all depends on how it's phrased.

For example, after I've been emailing with a guy for a bit (or once we start IMing or talking on the phone), I often ask where he'd like to be - in terms of a relationship - in, say, 3 to 5 years. I don't specify "with me" or anything, but I want to know what he's looking for.

Is he hoping to be married? Have kids? Or does he want to just be living together, but no marriage? I've run into roadblocks in past relationships where we're not looking for the same "end goal," so that's something I like to clear up early on.

Of course, if he's waxing poetic about how great our (theoretical) wedding will be or talking about how cute our kids will be or ... whatever will be a totally Creep moment. It's all in the phrasing and the context, so far as talking about marriage, in my book.
 
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livincarefree is offline livincarefree Post #29  February 15,2011, 3:12pm
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psalm1thirty9 wrote :

Advancing too quickly toward the "marriage" talk is a bit much when you hardly know each other.
Speaking of which, I had talked to a match on the phone, and he was already talking about how cute our kids would be and where we would live, how often we would visit my family, where we should vacation... I forgot about that guy... That was one of my 2 creepy eH experiences.

The other was when I found that a guy I had been emailing had a myspace page with a ton of porn stars as friends. I was planning on meeting him so I was glad I found that before I did.
 
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psalm1thirty9 is offline psalm1thirty9 Post #30  February 15,2011, 3:18pm
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whiteowl4 wrote :
See, for me, this all depends on how it's phrased.

Of course, if he's waxing poetic about how great our (theoretical) wedding will be or talking about how cute our kids will be or ... whatever will be a totally Creep moment. It's all in the phrasing and the context, so far as talking about marriage, in my book.
That^^^^is what I'm referring too and it happens way too often. Yes I want to know if we are on the same track as far as getting married and so it will need bringing up. I'm not aposed to people "knowing" within a short time that they are heading for marriage either. I'm just tired of communicating with some guy in often within the first week and we haven't met face-to-face, he's going there. I want realness not fantasy!!!
 
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