Have you ever kept a journal?


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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #1  February 12,2011, 6:46pm
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I have kept a journal (I hate to call it a "diary", because that just sounds so teenage) for many years. I started journaling in 1993 after I graduated from college. I think I got a blank, lined journal as a gift, and figured, what the heck? At first, I had no idea what you were supposed to write in a journal, so I would just jot some thoughts down from time to time. It was never about "Today I had a ham sandwich...".

After a while, I found that I would pick it up to write when I was trying to work something out in my own head, and getting it down on paper often helped me to see what I was really feeling and thinking. As I moved out of "school mode" and into "life mode", I found that my life was changing rapidly, and I suddenly felt like a different person from who I had been just a few short months ago. I got a "real job", and decided to go to Weight Watchers and lost 60 pounds, and suddenly found myself having a social life and going out with friends, and meeting guys... And I was grateful for my journals to give me that outlet I needed to deal with all of this stuff.

Sometimes, I would go for long stretches without writing anything in them, and I wonder what was going on in my life in those periods. I remember sometimes they were good periods, and sometimes not so good. But, I never wrote anything at those times, so I can't be sure exactly what was going on.

I have kept all of those books from 1993 on. I now have about 15 of them. Every now and then, I will pull one out and re-read the entries. Sometimes, I just want to shake that girl who wrote them: "What were you thinking?!?". Other times, I want to cry right along with her. Other times, I laugh, remembering some particularly fun times. Sometimes, it's downright scary how I find myself still saying and thinking the same things I wrote 5, 10 or even 15 years ago.

Sometimes I think I should burn them all in one big, ceremonial cleansing ritual. But, then I think I would miss them. They represent a big part of who I was then, who I became, and who I may become in the future.

My biggest fear is that if I died tomorrow, someone would find them, and read them. That's when I really think I should just burn them all. But, then I think how cool it would be to read them again when I am 85, and remember what it was like to be 25. So, for now anyway, I will keep them. And, keep on writing....
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  February 12,2011, 6:54pm
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I kept a dating journal right here on the board (in a group) from last May until September..Does that count?
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #3  February 12,2011, 6:58pm
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
I kept a dating journal right here on the board (in a group) from last May until September..Does that count?
Of course it counts! And, since yours was online - you know it's "forever", right? At least I could burn mine... if I wanted to...
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  February 12,2011, 7:03pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
Of course it counts! And, since yours was online - you know it's "forever", right? At least I could burn mine... if I wanted to...
I can edit any of the posts to say nada if I choose to..

Mitchell you would be a great addition to the group..nothing really more than what you post on the main boards now...check it out.

eHarmony Advice Member Dating Journals
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #5  February 12,2011, 7:08pm
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
I can edit any of the posts to say nada if I choose to..

Mitchell you would be a great addition to the group..nothing really more than what you post on the main boards now...check it out.

eHarmony Advice Member Dating Journals

Thanks for the invite. Does this mean I actually have to get a date before I can post in here? Still having some trouble on that end of things...
 
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tinaroonie is offline tinaroonie Post #6  February 12,2011, 7:13pm
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I have written in a journal since I was 11. I got one as a gift, and just started writing. I have I don't know how many now, since I am now 35. I have not looked at them a lot since then, but I remember I tried to write faithfully every day. When I was a kid I'd apologize in my journal about not writing every day. I haven't gone months without writing in one, but I have gone a week or two. Sometimes I write about my feelings (good or bad), and sometimes it's just a listing of what I did that day. And sometimes I will just write (especially on weekends) about what I have done so far that day, and what I have left to accomplish. I can write two or three different entries in one day. Sometimes I'll write one paragraph, and sometimes four or five pages. It just depends. It helps me to have a place to organize my thoughts and feelings, without feeling like a burden to someone else. But say, if I have had a conversation with a friend or my mom about something exciting that happened to me, I sometimes will not have the energy to retell the story in my journal. It's been very helpful lately, as I have started dating my boyfriend, and tend to chronicle our dates and what we have done, and what my feelings are for him, and just things I haven't told anyone. I have gone back and reread how I felt in the beginning of the relationship vs now, 2 1/2 months later. It's exciting.

I have never shared my journal with anyone else, or asked them to read it. Although when I was younger (I guess early college years), I had a huge crush on my younger brother's friend's older brother, and wrote about it in my journal, and my brother, and his friend (the one whose brother I had a crush on), my female cousin, and this guy's younger sister, read my journal, just the last few pages, but it was enough, and it was an embarrassment for me. I have only seen my mom truly mad three times, and this was one of them.

I do love my journal, and sometimes secretly wish my boyfriend would read what I wrote about him, but on the other hand I don't want him to know, it would probably be too much too soon.

I fantasize about someone finding them when I pass on, and deciding they are interesting enough to publish as a book, kinda like the Diary of Ann Frank. But then I wonder who would ever read that? Fun to think about though. I would never stop writing in my journal, they are a part of me, and I can't imagine going without, no matter how childish it seems.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #7  February 12,2011, 7:14pm
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I'm glad you posted this, b/c a few months ago I had decided to begin journaling again - I used to as a teenager. Last semester I was really stressed out and rather than get cranky about my long days, unpleasant bus rides, and disgruntled professors I would look for one really funny thing every day that I would share on facebook or would reserve for keeping friends entertained when we went out. Some days nothing happened, some days the funny thing was too subtle to share, but a handful of the stories were really funny, strange, or disgustingly hilarious. I really should write them down before they lose their freshness and getting back in the habit of keeping a journal will keep me in that mindset even when I don't need humor to get through the week.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #8  February 12,2011, 7:22pm
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I used to write a blog and it included stories about my dating experiences. I have also started a journal here but I have not been very faithful in maintaining it.

Several people have suggested that I "write a book" about my dating, but I don't think that would be fair to the people I date. I started to feel as though I had met them under false pretenses if I subsequently wrote about them. There is a difference between journalling in private and journalling publicly and I haven't yet decided how to write a private outpouring in a public medium.

None of that answers your question, exactly, but I wanted to say that a private journal is usually kept that way. If you died tomorrow and someone found your journals, what would be the problem? If other people are discussed in them, it could be an embarrassment. If your reputation would be changed, your family might be surprised.

At the same time, literature is full of wonderful insights from the journals of writers who have passed on. They provide historical and personal detail that would not be available in any other form.

It's a difficult decision. If the journals served a temporary purpose and are now redundant, you could burn them without regret.... unless you want future generations to learn from them.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #9  February 12,2011, 7:41pm
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tinaroonie wrote :
I have never shared my journal with anyone else, or asked them to read it. Although when I was younger (I guess early college years), I had a huge crush on my younger brother's friend's older brother, and wrote about it in my journal, and my brother, and his friend (the one whose brother I had a crush on), my female cousin, and this guy's younger sister, read my journal, just the last few pages, but it was enough, and it was an embarrassment for me. I have only seen my mom truly mad three times, and this was one of them.
I confess that I read my older sister's diary once when I was about 12. It wasn't really a journal, more like a notebook that she had written some things in, about the guy that she lost her virginity to. This was a friend of my brother's, and I was surprised because 1) I didn't know she had had sex and 2) I didn't know she ever had a thing with this guy. (I found out much later when we were adults how she happened to lose her virginity to this guy - and I'm glad that wasn't my story...) I regret having read what she wrote, and I never told her that I read it.

tinaroonie wrote :
I do love my journal, and sometimes secretly wish my boyfriend would read what I wrote about him, but on the other hand I don't want him to know, it would probably be too much too soon.
I have also thought about reading some entries to certain guys that I wrote about, but I would NEVER just hand the thing over. I would just paraphrase - "Oh, look here, I said this about you..." But, I have never actually done that.

It's very funny, too, when I re-read some entries about guys that I was so enamored with, that I thought could be "The One" - and I think "Who was that again?!?". Mostly those were infatuations that never went anywhere.
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #10  February 12,2011, 8:03pm
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I laughed when I saw this thread because I just started journaling again. I've journaled, diaried, whatever you want to call it since I was in middle school. I had spiral bound notebooks, pretty covered journals and I poured my heart into them. I had most of them boxed away for years until my parents basement flooded years ago and it was a total wake-up call. I read through some of them and I cried all over again reading some of the entries. Those journals no longer exist. I didn't want to risk anyone ever reading any of it. I destroyed them and happily so.

I had an online blog a few years ago, most of the entries were locked, some were open to a friends list. There were poems and short stories, struggles with my boyfriend, school, etc... I eventually drifted away from it for a long time because I just didn't have the time to put into it and recently I deleted the entire thing and started fresh.

It was kind of a New Year's resolution to start a new blog, and to just start over. It's an open blog, it's musings and thoughts and general comments about life and dating and whatever odd topic that gets stuck in my head.

I use it to follow other friends blogs and a couple of people I admire. I got a shock a couple weeks ago when I got a message from one of the people I admire who wanted to say thanks to me for being a supporter and fan and that they admired my courage to post what I did. This was not someone I ever would have guessed would read some random strangers blog just because I followed theirs.

I don't post often, but I'd like to post a little more than I do. Right now I post when something is gnawing at me and it helps me to work through it when I write it out.
 
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