beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #1  February 7,2011, 1:04pm
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Just got a little emotional on a drive home today. Just kinda want to vent a little. When I was 17 I got my first boyfriend and we dated for three years. He was my first love and first just about everything else. Even though he didn't treat me the best toward the end, he will always remain a big part of who I am today. I ended things shortly after moving away to college but we had a few mutual friends so I saw him every couple months or so. Well last April he died in a motorcycle accident. There was a last minute funeral so I was unable to attend.

Anyways, just now, driving home with my family from a new house we are moving to, we drove down the same road he had his accident. I got shaky and had to fight back tears. He was such a huge part of my life for three years back in high school. No matter who I have been with since him, I still dream about him several times a month. I never wanted to get back together with him but I still miss him. Our last conversation was great though. A few months before he died, we finally talked about everything and it felt like any unsettled thoughts got resolved. I also told him to stop riding motorcycles....

I don't know the full point of this post. Guess just needed some friendly ears (or eyes). I am just still so sad that he is gone. He had such a huge potential that will never happen now.
 
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SkinsGiants_fan is offline SkinsGiants_fan Post #2  February 7,2011, 1:19pm
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(((Becca)))
 
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ozlady is online now ozlady Post #3  February 7,2011, 2:03pm
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I feel for you.
Most of us have that someone who could have. They remain with us always. However the good thing is you had that chance to talk and eventually might allow you closure.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  February 7,2011, 7:14pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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The disillusionment that accompanies a too-young death hurts...and is especially bewildering.

I'm sorry you have cause to know this.

j8a
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  February 7,2011, 7:31pm
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beccaf87 wrote :
...Guess just needed some friendly ears (or eyes). I am just still so sad that he is gone. He had such a huge potential that will never happen now.
Friendly ears and eyes here for you. Sending healing thoughts to your heart. (((((hug)))))
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #6  February 7,2011, 7:46pm
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It's normal to grieve for someone you loved. There is no timetable for when it starts and ends or whether it happens at odd moments.

My dad has been gone for over 5 years and every now and then I get very sad out of the blue. Remembering the good times or funny things helps me get past these moments.

Have you been to the cemetery? I was never a cemetery goer and don't do it often now, but my heart always feel a little lighter on the way out.
 
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beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #7  February 8,2011, 5:52am
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Thanks to everyone for their kind words.

To VB, no I have not been to the cemetery. He was cremated and not sure what happened after that.

I don't think I would handle a cemetery very well. I always think about going to visit family I have lost but then it just feels to hard. I am so glad this year is an odd number too. For some reason all the death I experience is on even year numbers:
1998- grandpa from cancer
2000- aunt from unknown
2002- cousin (but more like a sister died at age 26)- hit by car
2004- grandma from heart attack/flu/pneumonia
2006- skipped thank goodness
2008- uncle from cancer
2010- ex boyfriend from motorcycle accident

I don't know how much more death I can take.
 
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ozlady is online now ozlady Post #8  February 9,2011, 2:21pm
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becca sending you a hug.
You are stronger than you thingk.
Death is part of life, each person in our lives teaches us something and adds something to who we are. Sometimes it is for only a shorttime sometimes it is longer, sometimes it enriches us and sometime it hurts so bad.
Still good and bad it helps to make us who we are.
Don't know if this helps, but hope so.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  February 10,2011, 12:03pm
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I hope you're ok Becca
 
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