Creeper at the gym...call the management?


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #1  February 6,2011, 8:26pm

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Not really an EH question though it does broach that subject ~ how not to be a creeper at the gym if you are trying to pick up chicks.

So I just have a personal predicament. I was just at the gym, drug myself there to just knock out 20 minutes of cardio just to say I did some today, really didn't want to go. I go to a gym that has key access and the management is not there. I can go 24 hours and I'll only run into other patrons. It's generally a respectful place. There are tv's and most people use their headphones. There is a "boom box" that is sometimes playing not loud music and some people turn on when they are alone (I presume). Occasionally the gym can be scary as it's not a terribly populated place, there's no security but cameras and the door locks. Mostly I get nervous when I'm alone in there at midnight. Another girl I run into often works out in the dark so her form is not obvious in the window at night.

Anyway, I walk in tonight and there are two men in there and the boom box is BLASTING. I had a suprised look on my face when I walked in and was a little annoyed, even if I wanted to watch tv or put on my headphones it wouldn't matter, the background noise would be way too loud. I walked back to put my stuff down and one of the guys said 'turn that down if you want, but it's not mine' and he was laughin. I said 'is it his'? and he said yeah.

So I walked up to the treadmill and the guy there said 'turn it down if you want, it's loud' and I just shrugged it off and got down to the business of making 20 minutes going quick as possible...but this guy gave me that je ne sais quoi in a bad way...made me uncomfortable. Sure enough he spoke to me again as I was trying to just ignore all about me and read the subtitles on the tv. he said 'so much for repeat' and I said 'huh'? and he said it over again and I realzied he was now commenting on the fact his 'shuffle' was not pleasing him. and I just thought what a jerk....no one here really wants to listen to your personal mix anyway. There is something wrong with you...but I just figured he must have been alone at first and wanted to rock out...fine. but don't talk to me! Something about him made me uncomfortable for sure. Besides the fact he was really rude with the music at the gym.

The other guy leaves. I'm trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable, talking myself out of it. It's nothing...

He finishes his run and goes and sits by his music. turns it down a little and finds a song he likes better and sits there a minute. I go to a different cardio machine to finish up. He moves on to weights. I'm still uncomforatble, very, but thinkign only a few more minutes.

He goes back and turns the music up again. Finally I can't take the combined discomfort I feel and the rudeness so I abrubtly finish up and leave. I had a 'feeling' this guy was just a bit off.

He said bye. I kept walking. He said 'have a good night' (but in the confrontational, "you are not being friendly and I want to talk to you way") I got into my car and he was STARING at me through the window, which he was pressed up against. He put his hands to his lips as if to make a 'sad face' and I was just uber creeped out and kept going, on the road...he was still up against the window and seemed to be making some gesture with his hands but I'm not sure what (thank god for near sightedness).

I just felt totally creepd out and annoyed and thought I should call the manager but about what? There's a creeper with loud music? He didn't assault me. But I can honestly say I'd be scared if I run into him there again, alone, and worse if it's at my usual time of 11:00 or midnight.

I could definitley call about the music but then I 'd feel like a tattler. Most of my discomfort was from that 'place' that just tells you someone is a creeper and you want to get away from them.

But seriously, dudes...don't talk to me at the gym unless there is a good reason. And don't get mad and creepy if I don't want to talk to you...
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  February 6,2011, 8:34pm
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Frankly, I'm surprised you stayed.

I'm glad nothing happened to you, but next time...don't do that. Made me nervous just to read it. I don't want to read about you in a newspaper.

I like to trust my instincts.

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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  February 6,2011, 8:38pm

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Don't do what? stay?

I didn't feel uncomfortable until I was there alone... I didn't know the one guy was gonna leave so soon!

Then I was afraid to leave abruptly because I had a feeling he would react...which he did.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #4  February 6,2011, 8:46pm

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anyway though, is that a vote to call the manager? The manager is a nice guy and from what I hear he meets everyone personally that joins and generally has a 'no creeper' policy.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  February 6,2011, 8:47pm
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I would mention it to management (in writing), for at least the reason that there will be a record of it. I would also leave immediately if he is ever there again. Certainly don't stay if you two are the only ones there. Trust your gut... there is something not right and potentially dangerous about that guy.

This would make me seriously consider changing gyms, only going with a friend after hours, or changing the hours I went so they coincided with when management was on duty.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #6  February 6,2011, 9:42pm
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The thing is he didn't really do anything illegal. He's just creepy. One short straight talk with the creeper should fix things. "Hey dude, I'm here to work out not hook up. You're getting creepy." No one wants to be called creepy. He should slink away. Either that or find a new gym. You really goona let this guy control your life like that making you adjust your schedule or find a new gym?
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  February 6,2011, 9:52pm
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szgorzelski wrote :
The thing is he didn't really do anything illegal. He's just creepy. One short straight talk with the creeper should fix things. "Hey dude, I'm here to work out not hook up. You're getting creepy." No one wants to be called creepy. He should slink away. Either that or find a new gym. You really goona let this guy control your life like that making you adjust your schedule or find a new gym?
You obviously don't have a woman's perspective on this. She should not have to wait for him to do anything illegal. Nor should she have to directly confront a creepy guy when she's alone in a gym late at night.

You have no idea whether "one short straight talk" would set him straight or inflame him... especially when they are alone in a gym at night. I would bet he would be more likely to get defensive and angry than slink away.

Her safety is paramount and she should report the incident to management and let them address it with him.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  February 6,2011, 10:00pm

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yeah....having a normal conversation with that guy was obviously not possible.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  February 6,2011, 10:31pm
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I vote tell the manager. I would think they'd want to know if they have a member who's making female members feel like changing gyms. And I'd consider changing gyms, to one where you won't be alone with a creep.
 
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CleverUsername is offline CleverUsername Post #10  February 7,2011, 12:31am
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I'm someone who wouldn't have a problem if someone had a comment to me about that situation, but I'm also someone who wouldn't be inconsiderate of others.

A public place like a gym is supposed to be welcoming to everyone, so certainly if the music was disturbing to you, I suspect it would have been to others as well if they were there. (Do you think he/they would have had it that loud if say there were four other people in there?)

I'm glad you didn't confront him at that time - especially alone - I would leave that to the management. I guess that's up to you if you do it now, or perhaps if it happens a second time but I would try to avoid a second time if at all possible!
 
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