singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #1  February 1,2011, 6:57pm
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Another thread has made me think about all the ways I have celebrated Valentine's Day over the years. There have been a lot of years when I didn't have an SO, plus a lot of years when I was married and I might as well have not.

When I was a teacher, I loved getting special gifts for all my students, as well as my assistants. I have always gotten special gifts for my children. And ever since I was a little girl, I've always gotten a special valentine from my dad. (The sweet thing about this is that my mom does all the rest of the shopping through the year, but our valentines always came from daddy. )

The most special Valentine's day, however, was something a little different. My ex left us in January when my youngest was only 4 months old. I don't think I would have even known it was Valentine's Day that year except for my 5 year old. The next year, though, it hit me really hard. I was teaching and felt the need to still do those special things for my students, not to mention my own children, but I really just didn't feel like it. My kids & I were living with my parents and when I got home from work late that afternoon, I was greeted at the door by my daughter and mother who instructed me to go and change into the dress I would find laying on my bed. Mom had worked all day, then my little one had helped after school to prepare a special Valentine dinner for us. We were all, including both kids, dressed nicely and dinner was by candlelight. I really still wasn't in the mood, but it was so special that they were all trying so hard to distract me from myself. I don't think I'll ever forget it!
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #2  February 1,2011, 7:09pm
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I love that story!!!!
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #3  February 1,2011, 7:41pm
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I don't remember my best Valentine's Day. I remember a few when I was a kid and we had shoebox "mailboxes" on our desks...but I have mostly a blank when I try to recall any as an adult. Most of the time I was single. For some I was married but might as well not have been (I can relate to the OP!)

I remember one of the hardest, though. Valentine's Day came a bit over a week before my husband and I separated. I read cards for more than an hour before I found one that would be "acceptable" -- not mushy, because I didn't feel mushy. Not loving, because I didn't feel loving. Not so *many* things that they all seemed to say!

I wanted to acknowledge the day without saying "I hate you/I don't like you" which was a bit closer to how I felt sometimes, than "I love you". I finally found a non-committal card like you might give the mailman, and bought it. Never gave it to him, though - it stayed in my purse. That was my worst Valentine's Day ever!
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #4  February 1,2011, 8:17pm
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Thanks, MaryO!

Pammersw, I'm sorry. I can relate. It sounds very similar to my marriage.
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #5  February 1,2011, 8:43pm
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Your story was way better than mine!
 
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keresenzia is offline keresenzia Post #6  February 1,2011, 9:25pm
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Mine was last year. My then boyfriend had made it clear he wasn't really into valentines and I had been ok with it because I worked a double shift the day before and just felt like sleeping - the day would pass by without me noticing it. Anyways he slept over the night before. He left in the morning then called a couple of hours later saying he is coming to see me. Needless to say I was annoyed because I was so tired and didn't see why he needed to come back yet he'd left a couple of hours before (waking me up too early in the process). So he shows up and lets himself in - made (bought) me breakfast in bed and even had a gift and a card and was being all mushy... Was kinda nice to see him being affectionate without me pushing in any way that I wanted a valentines celebration...
 
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primarilyconfused is offline primarilyconfused Post #7  February 6,2011, 7:21pm
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pammersw wrote :
I don't remember my best Valentine's Day. I remember a few when I was a kid and we had shoebox "mailboxes" on our desks...but I have mostly a blank when I try to recall any as an adult. Most of the time I was single. For some I was married but might as well not have been (I can relate to the OP!)

I remember one of the hardest, though. Valentine's Day came a bit over a week before my husband and I separated. I read cards for more than an hour before I found one that would be "acceptable" -- not mushy, because I didn't feel mushy. Not loving, because I didn't feel loving. Not so *many* things that they all seemed to say!

I wanted to acknowledge the day without saying "I hate you/I don't like you" which was a bit closer to how I felt sometimes, than "I love you". I finally found a non-committal card like you might give the mailman, and bought it. Never gave it to him, though - it stayed in my purse. That was my worst Valentine's Day ever!

I feel your pain Pammers. I found out about my ex-husband's affair 3 days before Valentine's day. He never treated the day as it should be. I knew that year wasn't going to be any better.
 
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Noble713 is offline Noble713 Post #8  February 6,2011, 10:15pm
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I think my best Valentine's Day was in '07. After I left the campus I bought a big sirloin steak, cooked it on my Foreman Grill with some green and red peppers, and had a couple goblets of red wine. It was quite a tasty meal.

I've never had a date on Valentine's Day. Unless I meet someone in the next 7 days, I expect to be 28/28 (sounds more positive than 0/28).
 
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ozlady is online now ozlady Post #9  February 7,2011, 4:44am
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Maybe Valentine's Day has become like other days more commercial over the years or those of us in long term marriages missed something.
I cannot remember having any sort of special valentines day maybe when young before marriage a card or dinner I honestly don't remember one.
Now even though I have been with my guy for almost a year it has never been discussed by either of us and I don't expect to even celebrate it.
Maybe after many years I have been desensortised for good or bad.
 
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