Can You Create Charisma?

Can You Create Charisma?

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Can You Create Charisma?


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Courtieur is offline Courtieur Post #1  January 15,2011, 6:58pm
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Very nicely put. I personally have been honored to meet charismatic people whose gift of charm and charisma came about for different reasons.  In fact, all reasons listed above, A, B, C & D. None of them being the one and only ultimate truth. The more charismatic were those who naturally and unselfishly put effort into sharing a moment of joy with another, as opposed to those selectively friendly when they want a selfish need satisfied as a result of that encounter.   Wonderful topic, and I hope it seriously influences others to improve their gentlemanly and ladylike qualities that are more and more lacking in our society.  Happy friendly people are inspirational and uplifting.
 
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MsMarie is offline MsMarie Post #2  January 15,2011, 8:39pm
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This was a good article with solid suggestions.The only thing with which I disagree is "In any relationship, you will get back what you are willing to give.  It is within your power to help the one you are with feel important and worthwhile—a gift that will earn their undivided attention in return."In my experience, I have always given quite a bit more than I have received. Managing to make the one I was with feel important, worthwhile and loved did not guarantee they were willing to do the same for me even when I was able to tell them specifically those things I needed from them.I will always be generous, loving and giving. It is the way I am. I just haven't found those qualities at the same level in any of the men I have known to date.MsMarie
 
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Alysha is offline Alysha Post #3  January 16,2011, 10:03am
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I agree with MsMarie:. It has been my experience that there is  the type of man who are really distrustful of genuine care on the part of women.  I asked a couple of them they reason why and even though they did not use the same words, it boils down to this:Nobody is that nice and caring without having an hidden agenda" When asked what they though the agenda was: So they can "get you".When asked what they meant:" you know, they want to make you commit to them. Curiously these sametype  men did no think twice of "being nice' and caring" if that could get them a quick score. So I think men like this are the type they do not want to commit, resort to manipulatiom to get their own hidden agenda satisfied.  Of course this type of person is not limited to the male gender.  And fortuntely, no all men...or women - are this type.I do not say this out of resentment, it is simple life, I have had my share of good experiences and bad experiences, however I learned a lot from bad ones. And this my rule: Give equally: in giving too much sometimes we do not create space to receive. 
 
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thadjarvis is offline thadjarvis Post #4  January 18,2011, 2:59pm
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I think you can create charisma
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #5  January 18,2011, 7:58pm
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When I think of charisma, I think of the person that people flock to be around and genuinely like being around that person. That is a gift from DNA and good self-esteem. That cannot be created. I have never seen a person go from shy to charismatic and never will.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #6  January 18,2011, 9:59pm
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szgorzelski wrote :
When I think of charisma, I think of the person that people flock to be around and genuinely like being around that person. That is a gift from DNA and good self-esteem. That cannot be created. I have never seen a person go from shy to charismatic and never will.
I agree in part with you. The self esteem part.
I was very shy as a child. My mother nagged the heck out of me. It didnt work. The fear of doing or saying something that would embarrass me was what stopped me. It wasnt until later in life when I realized that most of the people we meet, we will probably never see again. And why would I care if I said or did something embarrassing? I didnt care anymore.
I really think it is when we are convinced we just dont care anymore what people think, is when we can overcome shyness.
Here is an example.
My daughter had to sell girl Scout cookies one year. They dont go door to door anymore. It is in front of stores.
I volunteered to help them. These young girls were so darned shy. I had to couch them. The youngest shortest(but so danged cute) didnt want anything to do with it. I told her my story that is above. She ended up selling the most cookies out of the group. And the group as a whole sold the most in our area that year.
So overcoming shyness is key.
 
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SEBtopdog is offline SEBtopdog Post #7  January 19,2011, 9:09am
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What if a person has an "actual" handicap?  One wants to be noticed, but not too closely in case one falls on one's face when entering a room.  This is my first venture into the advice chat, but  I have a progressive muscle disease, and don't really know how to expain myself on e-harmony so I won't see that look of disappointment in the eyes of a nice man when we finally meet.  Any suggestions?
 
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LuvsGoldens is offline LuvsGoldens Post #8  January 19,2011, 10:34am
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As a child, I was shy. Additionally, I was teased about my red hair. My solution was to not call undue attention to myself. I was a quiet, thoughtful child, observing my surrounding. My observations, coupled with wise decisions helped me in my nursing career. I was able to apply life lessons, making me a more caring nurse. Through my patient contact, I learned to engage in entertaining and thoughtful conversation. What started out in my early life as a stumbling block, assisted me in my career thus giving me the confidence I lacked as a child.

As a bonus...I love my natural red hair now. It too is an asset now! Imagine my surprise in later life that many ladies visit their hairdresser to get their own red hair. LOL
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #9  January 19,2011, 7:28pm
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I was very shy for the longest time and was even on social anxiety medication for some time in my early 20s to help overcome it. I eventually overcame it on my own by basically just outgrowing it. I also don't give two sheets about what other people think and actually enjoy the reaction people get when I do the things I sometimes do, but I will never get to the point where I am the center of attention without mass quantities of alcohol. I feel comfortable with myself and enjoy being me, but I will never be able to tell stories at a party for hours on end like truly charismatic people. It's just not me.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  January 20,2011, 4:02pm
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szgorzelski wrote :
When I think of charisma, I think of the person that people flock to be around and genuinely like being around that person. That is a gift from DNA and good self-esteem. That cannot be created.
I've met some really charismatic people over the years and they just seem to have that something that people love. They seem to instantly connect with people and draw attention. This is something that you either have or you don't have.

Two of the most charismatic people I've met are politicians. One is a former governor of Illinois. Even though so many people knew his schtick, people still loved him. I've seen him work a room and he just drew people in.

The other is the current President. I interviewed him when he was touring here before he decided to run for President. The man just seemed to have a presence in the room. I left that day thinking that if he ran for president, he would probably win because he had that "it" factor.
 
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