Femininity, Masculinity, Sexuality, and Sexual Orientation


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windsurfing is offline windsurfing Post #1  October 3,2010, 4:13pm
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Although there are various angles to look at the topic, one of the things that I find interesting is at the physical level.

On average, I personally find women more beautiful than men. At the museum, I like statues of female nudes more than male nudes. I also like look at beautiful ladies in everyday life and observe the way they dress etc.

Male bodies can be beautiful, but I am not really into six packs, which can feel too masculine for me.

On the other hand, I just do not like touching women. The only person I feel really comfortable hugging is my mother. I never touch my sister. I hug some of my female friends, but keep it as light as possible.

In contrast, I like being cuddled by men. Although I do not find muscles particularly beautiful to look at, I feel comfortable being embraced in the man's arms and chest.

I identify myself as a straight woman. I date guys. In friendships as well, I prefer straight or gay guy company more than girl friends.

A close friend of mine who is a gay guy is always drawing female bodies and dresses up as a woman once in a while. He refers to himself as a "her." At the same time, he has never been intimate with women. When we hang out, he is checking out cute guys and date with gay guys who are relatively feminine. As friends he chooses relatively feminine gay friends or female friends and has very few straight male friends or relatively masculine gay guy friends.

I find these kinds of things complex and interesting. Just wanted to share. Any thoughts?
Last edited by windsurfing; October 3,2010 at 4:16pm.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  October 3,2010, 7:43pm
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Seeing beauty in a female form can be just that; an aesthetic pleasure. That is not necessarily related to sexual orientation. It seems fairly clear from what you say here that you are straight since you don't have any sexual interest in women.

It's interesting that you resist touching and hugging women. Why do you think that is? Is there a resistance to touching women because you don't want to find out how much you like it? Have you experienced some physical mistreatment from a woman? I'm just thinking out loud here--I have no professional expertise in this area at all.

As for the gay friend who likes to draw the female form, I would just point out that it is normal for nude artistic models in our culture to be mostly female. However, his transvetitism is associated with his sexual orientation, so drawing female nudes ties in with this sense of himself.

You don't ask any direct questions in your post, but I get a feeling there is a question there that may be too personal to ask.
 
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sparowe is offline sparowe Post #3  October 3,2010, 7:45pm
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bien windsurfing,

It is an interesting topic to me also, because it combines the somewhat elusive issue of beauty with the relatively primal one of innate desire, maybe with side-issues flavoring the mix as well.

For my money women's physical appeal is purely aesthetic, as I am not attracted to women. Men can look physically appealing as well, but there is the inseparable feeling of attraction (some men who appeal less to me physically I am still attracted to, and so on.) I am not too comfortable touching women or men I don't know. I guess I take physical contact pretty seriously.
 
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windsurfing is offline windsurfing Post #4  October 3,2010, 8:42pm
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annother wrote :
Seeing beauty in a female form can be just that; an aesthetic pleasure. That is not necessarily related to sexual orientation. It seems fairly clear from what you say here that you are straight since you don't have any sexual interest in women.

It's interesting that you resist touching and hugging women. Why do you think that is? Is there a resistance to touching women because you don't want to find out how much you like it? Have you experienced some physical mistreatment from a woman? I'm just thinking out loud here--I have no professional expertise in this area at all.

As for the gay friend who likes to draw the female form, I would just point out that it is normal for nude artistic models in our culture to be mostly female. However, his transvetitism is associated with his sexual orientation, so drawing female nudes ties in with this sense of himself.

You don't ask any direct questions in your post, but I get a feeling there is a question there that may be too personal to ask.
The kind of female beauty I really admire is classical elegance and sophistication. My idol has been Audrey Hepburn. I also love watching graceful dancers' movements. Since my childhood, I have admired these classical beauties.
I also love makeup and fashion etc and creating the overall style is something very important. I like watching sophisticated women who are really great at it. They are perhaps role models for me.
I like old ladies who are very elegant. One of my ex professors is in her early 70s. She dances, has great posture, dresses very elegantly, and is very beautiful. I am a fan. I always wish if I could be like that in their ages.

Touching females --- I am actually pretty guarded in physical contact and I want that only when I seek affection and emotional intimacy.
So I am comfortable hugging my mother. We have had a good, trusting relationship and she is a source of emotional support. When I was very sick, she held my hand. That was very comforting to me.

My sister and I have not been very close. We are nice and respectful to each other, but emotionally distant. We do not touch each other at all.

The kinds of female friends that I really like are highly independent, intelligent or artistic, and rationale. They are not very touchy-feely people by nature. I also do not seek for emotional intimacy or affection from them. I just respect and admire them. We do not hug much.

On the other hand, I have a couple of very girly, sweet, naturally affectionate friends who would send you, "xoxoxo" and "lots of love" etc. I like their girly style a lot and always reciprocate. But I just do not recall hugging each other, even though perhaps we do. I do not mind it, but do not particularly like it or remember it.

But one time, a friend who is big and carries extra weight gave me a big hug on my birthday, it was really really comfortable. It was like Marshmallow and the cusion felt like I were in the heaven. None of my family members or guys that I have dated have carried any fat. So the cusion felt amazing to me.

What I seek from guys are affection and emotional intimacy. So I like guys who are emotionally intimate, sweet, and gentlmanly.
Regarding physicality, I like guys who look sweet, a little feminine, and have some rounded shapes. I used to date skinny, tall guys before. But after I met guys with more muscles, I found that they are more comfortable and feel stable to be cuddled. He also needs to be bigger than I so that I can sit on his laps and cuddle him. Not only six packs are a bit too much for me, but I also tend to avoid guys whose brain comes across as being made of muscles as they talk.

So guys with sweet, feminine, younger looks, and intelligent, and have medium height and medium build are ideal for me.

What's interesting about men and women is that the body structures are different. I feel comfortable being hugged. I also find it very interesting to compare differences in the sizes of hands and arm muscles.

But honestly, it is a bit difficult to figure out how much comfortable I am with him until he hugs me or kisses me. Just by looking, it's a bit difficult to figure out. I know who may be repulsive to touch, but just do not know more than that. This is one of the reasons why I tended to string guys along because I just did not know if I liked them in that way.

A gay friend of mine theorizes that guys are visual creatures and that that is why gay men tend to be well groomed. I feel that I myself rely more on the overall tactile impression and a sense of smell.

The said gay friend in the previous post who draws pictures of women usually hang out with feminine gay friends. When I am with a group of ten, he would say, we are all girls. That's kind of adorable.

Sorry, it ended up a lot of unorganized, nonsense talks!
Last edited by windsurfing; October 3,2010 at 9:29pm.
 
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Emme0264 is offline Emme0264 Post #5  October 4,2010, 5:49am
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I find men extremely appealing physically and sexually. I like their muscles, the firmness of their bodies in comparison to the softness of women. I like their body hair, their strength, the beard stubble, all of it. That said I find women beautiful as well but on a different, completely non-sexual way. I can admire the curve of a woman's waist to her hip, her soft facial features and the regular body curves from chest to thigh. But I am not remotely attracted to women sexually and I can find something sexy in almost every man. As has been said, there is a difference between aesthetics and sexual attraction. Oh, and while I'm not much of a hugger with either gender, I have no qualms about hugging either a man or a woman.
 
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WA_hiker is offline WA_hiker Post #6  October 4,2010, 7:26pm
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Well as a guy I can barely identify whether other males are considered good-looking or not. I guess I have little/no understanding of masculine beauty. Plenty of appreciation for the beautiful women though
 
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Storvik is offline Storvik Post #7  October 6,2010, 5:52pm
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I'm with the girls here. I can appreciate the aesthetics and beauty of a man in really good shape, like a professional athlete, but I don't feel any attraction whatsoever.

Actually, it's almost the same with women who are just not my type. I can see that they are pretty and enjoy looking at them, but don't feel any real attraction. I don't know why but I'm almost exclusively attracted to European looking women (both north and south, but not east- nor Asian or African).

Maybe ones attraction is influenced by the people around when one grows up? I don't know.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #8  October 6,2010, 9:54pm
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I admire the male & female form pretty much equally. I think they possess different kinds of beauty, but both kinds are fascinating. Physically, I don't find one type of beauty to be more appealing than the other. When it comes to desiring the form in a sexual way, however, I need to feel that the person in that body is somehow powerful or dangerous. I need to detect something that demands my attention and respect.

I find that men embody this sort of sexuality for me more than women do. It would take an extraordinary women to persuade me to embrace bisexuality--more extraordinary than would be attracted to me, I believe. To me, most men possess this "other" quality, but only a few rare women do...

As far as touching--I'm not much of a casual toucher. I don't like a "friendly" hug very much at all... If I'm going to touch & be touched, I would prefer it to be a romantic/sexual touch. A "friendly" hug feels like a strange juxtaposition of coldness and too much intimacy, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman hugging me. I'd rather have all or nothing, myself.

Anyway, good topic.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #9  October 7,2010, 5:31am
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WA_hiker wrote :
Well as a guy I can barely identify whether other males are considered good-looking or not.
I think that's pretty common among guys. Guys normally can't judge how good looking another guy is the way a lady is able to judge how attractive another lady is.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #10  October 7,2010, 8:42am
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WA_hiker wrote :
Well as a guy I can barely identify whether other males are considered good-looking or not. I guess I have little/no understanding of masculine beauty. Plenty of appreciation for the beautiful women though
Hahahaha!!!! Amen to that!

Seriously, I might see a male athlete that has a "cut" body and think that "Wow..that dude is ripped!" But, that's because that is the goal for my body, not that I find him sexually attractive. I'll see a female that has a hot body and well.....that's a different story!
 
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