duke01genlee is offline duke01genlee Post #1  August 22,2010, 1:32pm

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I want to know if it is try that opposites attract. I ask this because I've been talking to a girl that is opposite of me. She is a vegitarian and I like my steaks. She is a city girl and I'm country. We do have some things in common. I just like some feedback and opinions. Thanks
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 22,2010, 1:35pm
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Some opposites attract some people.

Noteably, those which reflect gender identity appear to often attract persons which favor a gender role - which appears to be pretty common.

In my experience, hobby or leisure interests, lifestyle and values, are less likely to attract or succeed.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #3  August 22,2010, 2:29pm
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As long as the basic values are the same, the rest just broadens one's horizons.
Good luck with it.
 
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GentleDoc is offline GentleDoc Post #4  August 22,2010, 2:33pm
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My recent offhand thoughts on this, hardly scholarly, so take 'em for what they're worth.

When people are still trying to figure out who they are, people with differences are more attractive because they offer different facets for us to "try on."

Right now, I feel like a pretty complete entity and want someone who will reflect this in her own way. I want to share my interests with someone, want someone also committed to growth, someone equally affectionte, loving, passionate, intelligent, humorous, drama free, adventurous... Someone with those qualities will also bring some added dimensions to the relationship that will make it more interesting, but why would I want the opposite of these qualities?

I invite debate because that's how I learn and expand, too.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  August 22,2010, 2:49pm
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Good post from GentleDoc.

The things I like about myself, are things I want in partners.
 
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Emme0264 is offline Emme0264 Post #6  August 22,2010, 2:51pm
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Opposites, in my experience, aren't always good or always bad. Depends on the two people involved. I grew up in the 'burbs/country, and lived in the city for about years for college and law school and a few years after. I now live much further out in the country. I used to be a vegetarian, went back to being an ominvore and am now migrating back to vegetarianism. But what my partner eats doesn't matter to me at all. I guess it depends on how flexible the people are in their beliefs and behaviors. Would you be willing to try tofu or have an occasional vegetarian meal? Is she willing to come spend time with you in the country? If you have shared interests and values and can be flexible on the other stuff, you may well find enough common ground for a great, interesting relationship.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #7  August 22,2010, 3:02pm
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Every couple has things they view differently. You said you also have things in common, so why are you saying "opposites attract" ?

It's the yin and yang of a relationship that makes it interesting.
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #8  August 22,2010, 3:05pm
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GentleDoc wrote :
My recent offhand thoughts on this, hardly scholarly, so take 'em for what they're worth.

When people are still trying to figure out who they are, people with differences are more attractive because they offer different facets for us to "try on."
So true, dated many opposites when I was younger.
Right now, I feel like a pretty complete entity and want someone who will reflect this in her own way. I want to share my interests with someone, want someone also committed to growth, someone equally affectionte, loving, passionate, intelligent, humorous, drama free, adventurous... Someone with those qualities will also bring some added dimensions to the relationship that will make it more interesting, but why would I want the opposite of these qualities?Absolutely, I want someone that enjoys the same types of things as I do. I have no problem with someone who has slightly different interests as that broadens me as a person and hopefully him as well. We definitely have to be on the same page spiritually, affection and humor wise.

I invite debate because that's how I learn and expand, too.
For me, the older I get the more I know exactly what I want in a man. Also, my gut reactions to things said or done is much more developed so that I don't waste much time.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  August 22,2010, 3:24pm

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Hi Duke01genlee,

Great question and up for debate in the specific areas you mentioned, I think. Dr. Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony, would say “opposites attract, then attack.” However, he was mostly referring to the “Dimensions of Compatibility”: http://bit.ly/3fS6vV

Here are some eHarmony Advice “classic” articles that might be of interest to you and help you sort through this a little:

Do Opposites Attract?
Are Opposites the Law of Attraction?
Finding Love: Getting Over Your Personal Prejudices
Is History Doomed to Repeat?

Personally, if you enjoy each other right now, I’d say it’s certainly worth exploring unless either one of you feels that there are any absolute deal-breakers. You could enrich each other’s lives with your perspectives.

Good luck,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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duke01genlee is offline duke01genlee Post #10  August 22,2010, 3:51pm

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VB_Girl wrote :
Every couple has things they view differently. You said you also have things in common, so why are you saying "opposites attract" ?

It's the yin and yang of a relationship that makes it interesting.
I guess I just say it because this a different type of person for me. I've found people that are like me but it never works. I figure I must be attracted to the wrong people. I just thought maybe it was time to give something different a chance. We do have good converstions and she has a good sense of humor. She don't care that I like to eat my steak and her being a vegitarion doesn't really bother me.
 
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