I am at THAT point right now!


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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #1  July 29,2010, 1:43pm
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I am at THAT point right now where I am really, really, really crushin' hard on the girl I have been going out with. We have been out on about four dates, going on date number five tomorrow night. We have had long make-out sessions (just making out mind you). I have met her parents twice. She has met several of my friends and they like her and she likes them. We have already planned out trips and dates for the rest of the year! Everything is going unbelievably well! There are no red flags so far. We see eye to eye on all major issues that would keep us from having a long and happy relationship. Honestly, she is THE perfect girl for me. I can't say that about any other girl I have ever went out with.

So, as you can see, I'm really starting to fall for this girl, pretty hard too. I'm just worried that I am falling for her too quickly. We've been out on four dates. However, two of those four dates were about 8 to 12 hours long and the other two dates were at least 4 or more hours long. So, we've spent a lot of time together within those four dates. I finally added her to my Facebook yesterday, and since then, it's driven me crazy. I almost wished I hadn't though. I kind of liked having that part separated as to create mystery.

But anyways, am I falling too quickly for her? I haven't told her I am, but I have told her that I really like her. She didn't verbalize it to me, but I sense it in her actions. Things have been going so well and happening naturally and I have enjoyed the ride. And maybe it is because I still am struggling with my confidence, but I want to keep impressing her, I want to keep her looking forward to seeing me. I realize all of that happens naturally, but am sort of in a panic now. Maybe because I haven't really heard from her a lot this week (she's been super busy and it's understandable) and our phone conversation was quite short last night. As you can tell, I need someone to slap me in the face, calm me down and tell me to maintain the course.

I guess I'm not wanting to admit it, or say it out loud that I am starting to fall for her, because when I fall for somebody I'm all in. But I can tell you, if she told me today that she didn't want to date me anymore, I would be absolutely crushed! I don't think I could say, "Geez that sucks, well good luck to you!" I'm freakin' out guys! What should I do????
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #2  July 29,2010, 2:02pm
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greg75 wrote :
I am at THAT point right now where I am really, really, really crushin' hard on the girl I have been going out with. We have been out on about four dates, going on date number five tomorrow night. We have had long make-out sessions (just making out mind you). I have met her parents twice. She has met several of my friends and they like her and she likes them. We have already planned out trips and dates for the rest of the year! Everything is going unbelievably well! There are no red flags so far. We see eye to eye on all major issues that would keep us from having a long and happy relationship. Honestly, she is THE perfect girl for me. I can't say that about any other girl I have ever went out with.
Did she set up the meeting between you and her parents? If so she is a) seeking their approval as she really likes you or b) just letting them know that you are very special to her and they should get to know you
So, as you can see, I'm really starting to fall for this girl, pretty hard too. I'm just worried that I am falling for her too quickly. We've been out on four dates. However, two of those four dates were about 8 to 12 hours long and the other two dates were at least 4 or more hours long. So, we've spent a lot of time together within those four dates. I finally added her to my Facebook yesterday, and since then, it's driven me crazy. I almost wished I hadn't though. I kind of liked having that part separated as to create mystery.
Besides the mystery aspect why else do you wish you hadn't added her?
But anyways, am I falling too quickly for her? I haven't told her I am, but I have told her that I really like her. She didn't verbalize it to me, but I sense it in her actions. Things have been going so well and happening naturally and I have enjoyed the ride. And maybe it is because I still am struggling with my confidence, but I want to keep impressing her, I want to keep her looking forward to seeing me.
What confidence issues do you have? She'll want to keep seeing you as long as she really likes you and has fun when the two of you are together. Constantly impressing someone is hard to do especially if it is contrived, be yourself and let her fall in love with the man you are as long as you are the man you want to be.

I realize all of that happens naturally, but am sort of in a panic now. Maybe because I haven't really heard from her a lot this week (she's been super busy and it's understandable) and our phone conversation was quite short last night. As you can tell, I need someone to slap me in the face, calm me down and tell me to maintain the course.
:::::::slap:::::::: Yep, calm down, people get busy and have lives, she's not always going to do what you want or need her to do.

I guess I'm not wanting to admit it, or say it out loud that I am starting to fall for her, because when I fall for somebody I'm all in. But I can tell you, if she told me today that she didn't want to date me anymore, I would be absolutely crushed! I don't think I could say, "Geez that sucks, well good luck to you!" I'm freakin' out guys! What should I do????
There's a great product that you can find at your local health food store called Resque Remedy, it's all natural, put about 5 drops in water and sip on it all day. This will help with the panic you are feeling. Good luck it sounds promising.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  July 29,2010, 2:09pm
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Yeah, none of this sounds bad to me, Greg (that is, except the panic!.

Sometimes, it's just RIGHT. Try to relax and enjoy.

I'm so happy for you!
 
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BNNN is offline BNNN Post #4  July 29,2010, 2:10pm
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While I wish you all the best in this relationship, you need to temper your thoughts a bit until this actually progresses!

We never know what the other person is actually thinking and you need to get to know each other a little more before you fall too far as you really don't know each other that well yet.

Even in the best relationships, we start to learn so much more about people as it progresses and sometimes those things don't always mesh, especially when one person is more into the other person (not saying she is not into you but need to take it down a notch until you do).

Just don't want you to get all worked up over this. I am sure she is a great person and wishing you the best but resist those self doubts and enjoy it for what it is and hopefully, it will turn out great for you.

Good luck.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  July 29,2010, 2:20pm
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #6  July 29,2010, 2:29pm
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greg75 wrote :
I am at THAT point right now where I am really, really, really crushin' hard on the girl I have been going out with. We have been out on about four dates, going on date number five tomorrow night. We have had long make-out sessions (just making out mind you). I have met her parents twice. She has met several of my friends and they like her and she likes them. We have already planned out trips and dates for the rest of the year! Everything is going unbelievably well! There are no red flags so far. We see eye to eye on all major issues that would keep us from having a long and happy relationship. Honestly, she is THE perfect girl for me. I can't say that about any other girl I have ever went out with.

So, as you can see, I'm really starting to fall for this girl, pretty hard too. I'm just worried that I am falling for her too quickly. We've been out on four dates. However, two of those four dates were about 8 to 12 hours long and the other two dates were at least 4 or more hours long. So, we've spent a lot of time together within those four dates. I finally added her to my Facebook yesterday, and since then, it's driven me crazy. I almost wished I hadn't though. I kind of liked having that part separated as to create mystery.

But anyways, am I falling too quickly for her? I haven't told her I am, but I have told her that I really like her. She didn't verbalize it to me, but I sense it in her actions. Things have been going so well and happening naturally and I have enjoyed the ride. And maybe it is because I still am struggling with my confidence, but I want to keep impressing her, I want to keep her looking forward to seeing me. I realize all of that happens naturally, but am sort of in a panic now. Maybe because I haven't really heard from her a lot this week (she's been super busy and it's understandable) and our phone conversation was quite short last night. As you can tell, I need someone to slap me in the face, calm me down and tell me to maintain the course.

I guess I'm not wanting to admit it, or say it out loud that I am starting to fall for her, because when I fall for somebody I'm all in. But I can tell you, if she told me today that she didn't want to date me anymore, I would be absolutely crushed! I don't think I could say, "Geez that sucks, well good luck to you!" I'm freakin' out guys! What should I do????
i bolded all the red flag parts.

i understand how you feel, i do. but take a deep breath, and don't TRY to do anything. just let it be. don't assume she feels the same. she may, and probably does, but even you admit that a little mystery is good. the tighter your hold, the more she will slip away.

I know it's difficult though.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #7  July 29,2010, 2:39pm
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This sounds great Greg. So much of what you are saying, I'm in the same boat.

How I'm handling all your issues is to stop looking so far down the line and just concentrate in the here and now. Make the present work for you, and the future will come.

Also, you are in that cloud 9 phase..as am I. But the test of if she's "perfect", is when you find something you DON'T like about her, and accept it with open arms. At this phase, our heads is too filled with bliss to see, but when our heads clear, that is when you should evaluate.

Seriously, we're being too parallel here because I TOO just added her as a friend on facebook and feeling a little apprehensive about it. My only consolation is that she's not a facebook junky like me.

But bottom line. Don't be afraid to fall of her. If that is how you feel, embrace it. But embrace it without expectations. Too many expectations and you may start getting disappointments, which maybe of your own making.
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #8  July 29,2010, 2:44pm
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greg75 wrote :
But anyways, am I falling too quickly for her? I haven't told her I am, but I have told her that I really like her. She didn't verbalize it to me, but I sense it in her actions. Things have been going so well and happening naturally and I have enjoyed the ride. And maybe it is because I still am struggling with my confidence, but I want to keep impressing her, I want to keep her looking forward to seeing me. I realize all of that happens naturally, but am sort of in a panic now. Maybe because I haven't really heard from her a lot this week (she's been super busy and it's understandable) and our phone conversation was quite short last night. As you can tell, I need someone to slap me in the face, calm me down and tell me to maintain the course.
Take a moment. Breathe. This is a good thing, not a thing to panic over (although I can understand the impulse). Sometimes when you know you know, and it really is that simple. I hope this is the case for you because you seem like a good guy.

Making plans in to the future is a very good sign that she sees you in her future. Same goes for meeting the family.
 
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pamcam is offline pamcam Post #9  July 29,2010, 3:13pm
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Time takes time; think of it as a journey of discovery and savor each moment. Above all else, be honest and genuine about who you are, communicate your thoughts and feelings, and your needs and wants; listen and respond to her. Attend all sorts of social situations; see how you each individually and together resolve conflict; where to spend holidays; out of town trips. You have much ahead of you to enjoy, just don't get too ahead of yourself. Be present but slow down. We can't live a lifetime in a day.
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #10  July 29,2010, 3:39pm
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Good counsel here.

Take a deep breath... take several (but don't hyperventilate!). I especially liked what Pamcam has to say about being in the moment and enjoying the journey. Just be realistic: soon enough you'll both see some of the 'not so great' about each other, but hopefully you'll find that while neither of you is perfect, you're perfect for each other. (Blatant ripoff of a line from Good Will Hunting...)

Oh... and **slap slap** Snap out of it!
 
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