I am at THAT point right now!


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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #11  July 29,2010, 5:22pm
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Ah, I remember being the same way.

Just wait until you fall more in love with her every day. THAT is a awesome feeling.

What I would recommend you do is reset your expectations to, instead of 4 dates, make it 10 dates. Just concentrate on having a good time on the next 6 dates, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

Just focus on getting to know each other. Relax. Be cool about it.

And you should have the "I want to be exclusive with you because it's not fair to anybody else because I'm thinking about you all the time" conversation.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #12  July 29,2010, 5:25pm
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And honestly, I knew by date 2 that I was going to fall in love with my girl... but it took me 5.5 months to say it, because it takes time for the other person to get there. That's OK. Almost all the time, people are on different wavelengths, some might be at one stage, the other might be a little further behind... and that's OK. Just manage the expectations, and be cool about it.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #13  July 29,2010, 5:39pm
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socalgal55 wrote :
There's a great product that you can find at your local health food store called Resque Remedy, it's all natural, put about 5 drops in water and sip on it all day. This will help with the panic you are feeling. Good luck it sounds promising.
I was about to suggest Sex Panther, by Odeon. Even though it's illegal in nine countries, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
Last edited by Mr_Right; July 29,2010 at 5:40pm. Reason: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #14  July 29,2010, 6:01pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
I was about to suggest Sex Panther, by Odeon. Even though it's illegal in nine countries, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.
Excellent quote!
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #15  July 30,2010, 6:23am
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LOL, Sex Panther? What is this exactly? Cologne? Supplements?

I don't know guys, I do think Mr. Right is on to something with stretching things out. We have been on four dates, so lets just concentrate on having fun and making it to the tenth date. It's just that she told me several weeks ago that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he became to clingy and smothered her. And I am so worried that with the feelings I am starting to have for her, that it is going to scare her off and she's going to feel smothered. I am going to try my best to reel myself back in a bit and maybe just think of these dates as being out with a good friend? I suppose you guys are right, a lot of times one is on a different level as the other, and it takes patience from the one who just knows that person is right for them to wait for that person to catch up. And then again, I could be paranoid about nothing at all. She might have the hots for me so bad that she's trying to pull herself back a bit in order not to scare me away. Ugh!
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #16  July 30,2010, 6:53am
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greg75 wrote :
LOL, Sex Panther? What is this exactly? Cologne? Supplements?
It's a cologne, not sure if it's real or not, but it's from the movie Anchor Man (Will Ferrell)

wrote :
I don't know guys, I do think Mr. Right is on to something with stretching things out. We have been on four dates, so lets just concentrate on having fun and making it to the tenth date.
Excellent point by Mr Right.. IME It's rare that two people are on the same emotional level from jump street.

wrote :
It's just that she told me several weeks ago that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he became to clingy and smothered her. And I am so worried that with the feelings I am starting to have for her, that it is going to scare her off and she's going to feel smothered. I am going to try my best to reel myself back in a bit and maybe just think of these dates as being out with a good friend? I suppose you guys are right, a lot of times one is on a different level as the other, and it takes patience from the one who just knows that person is right for them to wait for that person to catch up. And then again, I could be paranoid about nothing at all. She might have the hots for me so bad that she's trying to pull herself back a bit in order not to scare me away. Ugh!
I feel ya brother, (you know my situation)

Slowing down you emotions is a difficult thing to do, If you feel you can't do that, and will only get frustrated along the way, I would take a step back (not from her) and regroup your thoughts until you can control them.

Dafearon advice below is on point.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; July 30,2010 at 7:01am.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #17  July 30,2010, 6:57am
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greg75 wrote :
I am going to try my best to reel myself back in a bit and maybe just think of these dates as being out with a good friend?
Oooh, bad idea. Do this ONLY to the extent that you make yourself comfortable and thats it. Too much, and you could be friend zoned before you know it.

I know this is hard, but think of her as a person and not the ONE. You do that, things will go a little more natural. At this point, you should not be thinking of NOT making mistakes, and just follow the flow of where the two of you takes it.

You've been on, what 4 dates in two weeks? That is not smothering. Its natural to want to see her more and follow that momentum. What becomes smothering when you push the envelope for her to do more. What becomes smothering is when you want more, because you feel like you'll lose her if you don't.

Go on your date. Enjoy yourself. Take a breath and then think of ideas for the next date.

And most importantly, continue to live your own life. Don't let this consume you.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #18  July 30,2010, 8:13am
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I just heard back from her from email. I am feeling A LOT better now! She said she couldn't wait to see me tonight and that she was impressed by my "take charge" approach to planning our date tonight. She said big brownie points for that, lol! I guess I just spooked myself. I think I need a drink now...lol!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #19  July 30,2010, 12:35pm
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greg75 wrote :
I don't know guys, I do think Mr. Right is on to something with stretching things out. We have been on four dates, so lets just concentrate on having fun and making it to the tenth date. It's just that she told me several weeks ago that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he became to clingy and smothered her. And I am so worried that with the feelings I am starting to have for her, that it is going to scare her off and she's going to feel smothered. I am going to try my best to reel myself back in a bit and maybe just think of these dates as being out with a good friend? I suppose you guys are right, a lot of times one is on a different level as the other, and it takes patience from the one who just knows that person is right for them to wait for that person to catch up. And then again, I could be paranoid about nothing at all. She might have the hots for me so bad that she's trying to pull herself back a bit in order not to scare me away. Ugh!
Yep, just focus on having fun, letting her get to know the real you, and it gives you a chance to get to know her too. Four dates does not a relationship make. Go on a bunch of dates, and eventually also toss a full weekend/extended weekend date in there as well, so you can see how you interact over a longer period of time (do the full weekend date after you're in a official relationship).

Don't reel yourself in too much. Still focus on being open, generous, cool, and be your best self, just like you have been. Take a chill pill, relax, remember, she said yes to all the upcoming dates, so don't worry about that.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #20  July 30,2010, 12:59pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
Yep, just focus on having fun, letting her get to know the real you, and it gives you a chance to get to know her too. Four dates does not a relationship make. Go on a bunch of dates, and eventually also toss a full weekend/extended weekend date in there as well, so you can see how you interact over a longer period of time (do the full weekend date after you're in a official relationship).

Don't reel yourself in too much. Still focus on being open, generous, cool, and be your best self, just like you have been. Take a chill pill, relax, remember, she said yes to all the upcoming dates, so don't worry about that.
I think my friends and co-workers are pushing me to move this along farther than where it's at right now. One said I HAD to hurry up and talk to her about being exclusive before she loses interest. Another friends thought it was a sin that I had not invited her to be a Facebook friend. Honestly, I know that I can have a long and happy relationship with her, but I don't care if it takes awhile for both us to get on the same level. I just want to enjoy spending time and getting to know her better without fearing I'm going to do something to screw it up.
 
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