moondrop is offline moondrop Post #1  July 28,2010, 2:04pm
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Here's an example:
I meet a guy whom I like and tell one of my friends about him. After a couple of dates, it doesn't work out. My attitude is "next" while a friend of mine responds, "Oh I'm so sorry." As if he was my long lost boyfriend.

Here's another one:
I meet a guy and he never calls. I tell my friend when she asks and she's like, "Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry."

WHY DOES IT SUCK? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

I know she means well, but this sympathy is just getting under my skin for some reason. Does she want me to feel sorry for myself? What do you make of this. It has really become a pet peeve of mine.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  July 28,2010, 2:17pm
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You might be confusing sympathy with empathy, and yes there is a difference.
These are your friends who care about you.
I'd say you're pretty lucky to have friends who aren't afraid to show you that they care.

You're young aren't you?
Last edited by TheThinker; July 28,2010 at 2:20pm.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  July 28,2010, 2:21pm
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Would you rather they say "Tough it up!"?

I agree with Thinker, you have good friends who care about you, your feelings and how others treat you. Be thankful for that.
 
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moondrop is offline moondrop Post #4  July 28,2010, 2:24pm
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TheThinker wrote :
You might be confusing sympathy with empathy, and yes there is a difference.
These are your friends who care about you.
I'd say you're pretty lucky to have friends who aren't afraid to show you that they care.

You're young aren't you?
depends on what young is to you lol
 
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moondrop is offline moondrop Post #5  July 28,2010, 2:29pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :

who care about you, your feelings
but I don't have "feelings" when it comes to stuff like this. These are trivial things to me. These are things that a 16 yr old gets sympathy for lol.
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #6  July 28,2010, 2:32pm
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moondrop wrote :
These are things that a 16 yr old gets sympathy for lol.

Heeeeyyyyy . . . . . those things would annoy this 16 year old too.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #7  July 28,2010, 2:37pm
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moondrop wrote :
but I don't have "feelings" when it comes to stuff like this. These are trivial things to me. These are things that a 16 yr old gets sympathy for lol.

When your friends say these things to you, why not just tell them
"Don't worry. These are trivial things to me and don't bother me. I appreciate your concern, but I am okay with it all."

I wouldn't let their empathy get under your skin. It's really not that big of a deal, is it?



P.S. Mature adults also get empathy from their very good friends for this very same thing.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #8  July 28,2010, 2:38pm
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moondrop wrote :
but I don't have "feelings" when it comes to stuff like this. These are trivial things to me. These are things that a 16 yr old gets sympathy for lol.
Maybe they misjudged your maturity.
here's a thought: Stop telling them about it.

You won't have to talk about such "trivial" matters...and you won't have to get feedback on such "trivial" matters. a win-win.

Problem solved.
 
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moondrop is offline moondrop Post #9  July 28,2010, 2:40pm
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newbie40something wrote :
When your friends say these things to you, why not just tell them
"Don't worry. These are trivial things to me and don't bother me. I appreciate your concern, but I am okay with it all."

I wouldn't let their empathy get under your skin. It's really not that big of a deal, is it?

Not a big deal at all. Just a topic I'm tossing around in cyberspace
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  July 28,2010, 2:44pm
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illustrator wrote :
You two aren't giving her sympathy, are you?
Nope. these are pearls, son...
 
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