socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #1  July 27,2010, 8:20pm
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I know this can be a sore subject for some but haven't seen this addressed. I'm asking cuz I've been getting some overweight men who ask me the following question, my answer is always the same.

What are your body-type preferences for your mate?

A) Thin and very lean
B) Muscular and athletic
C) Average - height and weight proportionate
D) Larger than average
E) I'm open, their values and personality are much more important to me.

So gals how do you feel about an overweight man? What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Does it matter that much to you? Why or why not?

Guys how do you feel about an overweight woman? What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Does it matter that much to you? Why or why not?
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #2  July 27,2010, 9:41pm
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I am a guy. I don't' really like very skinny women. I dated a lot of them when I was in my early 20's and realized that I was attracted to women who were more curvy. I think at the point where the weight raises towards obesity I would not be interested.

I think the answers you receive is different people like different things. i am sure more men are going to say they like skinny women. But if everyone liked the same thing there would be a lot of lonely people out there. Everyone likes something different.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #3  July 27,2010, 10:48pm
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socalgal55 wrote :
E) I'm open, their values and personality are much more important to me.
Really?

Really?

I wouldn't ask the question, but this kind of answer seems like a cop-out to me. Given a choice between two guys, one 100 lbs. overweight, and the other much less so, with all other things being sorta equal, can you honestly say you're "open"?

Everyone has their preferences, and most of us can't quantify them up front. I think that's how I'd answer. Or "yes, I prefer that everyone have a body."
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #4  July 27,2010, 11:04pm
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melman wrote :
Really?

Really?

I wouldn't ask the question, but this kind of answer seems like a cop-out to me. Given a choice between two guys, one 100 lbs. overweight, and the other much less so, with all other things being sorta equal, can you honestly say you're "open"?

Everyone has their preferences, and most of us can't quantify them up front. I think that's how I'd answer. Or "yes, I prefer that everyone have a body."
Yes, I can honestly say I'm open. I have dated men who were 50 lbs overweight. 100 lbs overweight no. For me having a mate be hugely overweight is a health issue and I would definitely encourage him to lose the weight. If he was adamant that he wasn't going to lose the weight and was 100 lbs overweight I would probably walk away, because of the health issues and because I am a very active 54 yo woman and he wouldn't be able to be as active as I am which would hinder our relationship.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  July 28,2010, 12:00am
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socalgal55 wrote :
Yes, I can honestly say I'm open. I have dated men who were 50 lbs overweight. 100 lbs overweight no.
OK, so you're not really "open" then.

There's nothing wrong with having a preference or a cut off. Instead of pretending that you don't.

The thing about this question, is that it's being asked for a reason. Either the person asking has a weight issue, or he/she suspects that you do. Giving a truthful or analytical answer, only serves to increase the tension. I say, give a humorous answer back because you just don't know the specific numbers involved. Or if you do know (perhaps because it's stated in the profile), and it's outside of your preference, close the match and don't mess around. You can write an "e" answer if you like, and then close.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #6  July 28,2010, 7:57am

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socalgal55 wrote :
I know this can be a sore subject for some but haven't seen this addressed. I'm asking cuz I've been getting some overweight men who ask me the following question, my answer is always the same.

What are your body-type preferences for your mate?

A) Thin and very lean
B) Muscular and athletic
C) Average - height and weight proportionate
D) Larger than average
E) I'm open, their values and personality are much more important to me.

So gals how do you feel about an overweight man? What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Does it matter that much to you? Why or why not?

Guys how do you feel about an overweight woman? What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Does it matter that much to you? Why or why not?
Weight is one of several issues (weight hair, height, age, etc.) that continues to be hotly debated on these threads. When anyone states their personal preference for any of the above-mentioned characteristics you must prepare yourself for the all to often cries of condemnation for being shallow.

That being said, I will attempt to tread lightly attempting to respect other views while at the same time provide an honest response.

I myself am 5'7" and weight approximately 150 pounds. I am attracted to and am more comfortable with someone who is height-weight proportionate and close to my own size. I do not attempt to set a certain or specific weight criteria. Some people can carry additional weight and still appear fit while others cannot. Suffice to say it comes down to my perception.

This is what works for me. I am not attempting to judge others, objectify them or disparage them. How they choose to live is their personal business not mine. I am simply indicating who I am more comfortable with and what appeals to me. That being said, weight is but one of many criteria. The many other desirable qualities are determinative in the decision process.

In the past six months I'm certain that many matches have closed me based upon certain physical characteristics of mine. I am not offended and don't question the person's rationale. If you don't fit into someones criteria you don't fit.

In the world of relationships we all determine our own preferences and priorities when determining our comfort level with others. There is no rational or objective reasoning that can explain why we all choose differently in selecting criteria; suffice to say it's human nature.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #7  July 28,2010, 7:58am
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socalgal55 wrote :
Guys how do you feel about an overweight woman? What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Does it matter that much to you? Why or why not?
Weight and BMI aren't necessarily good measures. Most people don't know their Body Fat %, which is a better measure. Given that...

Here's a chart I found for ideal weights by height and gender for someone with a medium size frame:

Women
4'10" 109-121
4'11" 111-123
5'0" 113-126
5'1" 115-129
5'2" 118-132
5'3" 121-135
5'4" 124-138
5'5" 127-141
5'6" 130-144
5'7" 133-147
5'8" 136-150
5'9" 139-153
5'10" 142-156
5'11" 145-159
6'0" 148-162

Men
5'2" 131-141
5'3" 133-143
5'4" 135-145
5'5" 137-148
5'6" 139-151
5'7" 142-154
5'8" 145-157
5'9" 148-160
5'10" 151-163
5'11" 154-166
6'0" 157-170
6'1" 160-174
6'2" 164-178
6'3" 167-182
6'4" 171-187


Generally speaking, I find people with an average build at the listed weights to be too thin for my tastes. So I guess you could say I prefer women who are somewhat overweight, maybe in the 5-20 lb range. Above that, the more overweight, the greater the chance I will find them unattractive.

All that being said, as long as they are healthy and I find them attractive, weight isn't an issue.
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #8  July 28,2010, 8:58am
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melman wrote :
OK, so you're not really "open" then.

There's nothing wrong with having a preference or a cut off. Instead of pretending that you don't.

The thing about this question, is that it's being asked for a reason. Either the person asking has a weight issue, or he/she suspects that you do. Giving a truthful or analytical answer, only serves to increase the tension. I say, give a humorous answer back because you just don't know the specific numbers involved. Or if you do know (perhaps because it's stated in the profile), and it's outside of your preference, close the match and don't mess around. You can write an "e" answer if you like, and then close.
Duly noted. As far as the e answer they don't get it once you close them. At least that's what one of my matches told me. I had closed him because we were communicating off EH. I sent him an EH email telling him about the close due to communicating off EH, then I closed him. He said he never got it.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #9  July 28,2010, 11:19am
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It seems that men in my age group (I'm 60) are more likely to be overweight than not. Usually it's not by more than, say, 25lbs, but still more than the ideal weight chart would suggest. I don't have any trouble with that. However, once a person becomes significantly overweight to the point where their health is at risk, then it is an issue for me. It is both unattractive to look at and undesirable as an ongoing concern in a relationship.

There are also those who I consider to be considerably underweight, and that can be unattractive, too, sometimes.

In terms of lifestyle and health, a man who exercises a few times a week is probably in fairly good shape. A man who is fanatical about exercising and improving his physique is probably too self-absorbed for my liking, no matter how good he looks.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #10  July 28,2010, 1:16pm
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To me, up to a certain point, weight is not an issue.

I would say size is more an issue for me that weight. If a woman is 6'5, and in great shape. I will probably not be very attracted to her physically. This woman is just too tall for me. Me at 5'7 would feel dwarfed and that's an issue for me. However, if this person's personality totally wowwed me. I'd still give her a chance.

But weight...my last girlfriend was only 5 feet tall, but weighed significantly more than me. I found her attractive. My current....girlfriend (to be determined), is what I believe is "socially attractive". And to me, there is NO difference between my obese ex (she fell in that catagory), and this fit woman. Its all about how i feel/felt about the person. There are differences physically, obviously, but those are more quirks, than preferences to me.
 
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