Sangrebloom is offline Sangrebloom Post #21  July 29,2010, 5:13pm
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I've always closed matches where they say they "can't stand" someone who is over weight. If I went crazy and gained weight I wouldn't be tolerated. screw that.
 
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ladylovelylocks is offline ladylovelylocks Post #22  July 29,2010, 5:34pm
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chemgal wrote :
Maybe - because even if you have a slender frame (which I assume you must), 105 is very light for someone who's 5'2.

Well I am pretty much flat chested so that might be some of it. I actually have gained close to 10 lbs since high school.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #23  July 29,2010, 7:32pm
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neardc wrote :
These tables assume that someone is of medium frame and is wearing clothing and shoes with 1 inch heels. So, you have to add at least an inch to your height, and 3-5 pounds to adjust for clothing weight, before you can compare yourself to the table (and, if you are of slender or larger build, subtract or add pounds accordingly).

They aren't actually a very good reference for numerous reasons, especially if you are not average height.
Yeah, I just put that up for discussion purposes. Things like ideal weight charts and BMI do not take your body composition into account. Athletes, who are generally in better shape than anyone else, always come in "overweight" on those.
 
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yeahitsme is offline yeahitsme Post #24  July 30,2010, 12:10am
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socalgal55 wrote :
So gals how do you feel about an overweight man? I like my guys with some extra pounds. What do you consider overweight to be in terms of pounds? Never thought about it. Does it matter that much to you? Nope, very little when it comes to a real relationship. Why or why not? Well, I would prefer a very romantic and sweet man with love handles and a spare tire than a jerk with a 6 pack and biceps the size of my waist. However, the jerks can be fun to look at sometimes...
I know its probably more a self esteem issue than anything else, but I find the super "ripped" guys to be intimidating.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #25  July 30,2010, 7:46am
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Crcbonjour wrote :
Do agree with the muscle men being completely narcisisistic, ONLY because I have one across the street from me, and in my neighborhood, who are generally lacking overall in any mental substance whatsoever (proven to me again & again) and I know it is only being done to enhance their looks FIRST for themselves and SECOND for attracting females, which, NEVER seems to work because he cannot keep one around long enough to even learn their names. All those mirrors in the sports clubs - there for a reason. Whoever said you need to see yourself when you workout if you know what you're doing? Some people just love staring at their bodies, and I've got a large representative pool of them locally here. They are mental zeroes.
yeahitsme wrote :
I would prefer a very romantic and sweet man with love handles and a spare tire than a jerk with a 6 pack and biceps the size of my waist. However, the jerks can be fun to look at sometimes...

I know its probably more a self esteem issue than anything else, but I find the super "ripped" guys to be intimidating.
Do people have the perception that "ripped" guys are all fluff and no substance? Do people have the perception that somebody a bit overweight is more likely to be loving and sweet? There are a lot of guys that have gone from overweight to ripped, do they suddenly become self centered and obnoxious because they have more options with women?

Right now, I fall into the few extra pounds with love handles category. Most of my life I've been more in the athletic but not ripped category. I don't think I've acted any differently. I don't particularly like having love handles, so, I'm getting rid of them. Just wondering if I should shoot for being fit or shoot for being ripped.
 
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #26  July 30,2010, 8:36am
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dmi wrote :
Do people have the perception that "ripped" guys are all fluff and no substance? Do people have the perception that somebody a bit overweight is more likely to be loving and sweet? There are a lot of guys that have gone from overweight to ripped, do they suddenly become self centered and obnoxious because they have more options with women?
I don't think so, but most women would feel silly saying "I prefer ripped and nice to heavy and nice" or vice versa. The point that's usually being made is that it's the substance part that's more important.

Unless you develop an obsession with your body, getting fit is unlikely to change your personality dramatically. And, honestly, the person who loses the ability to pass a reflective surface without checking themselves out probably had similar issues (e.g. constant talk about how smart/funny/awesome/unappreciated they were) when less fit.
 
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yeahitsme is offline yeahitsme Post #27  July 30,2010, 11:21am
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I dunno, the last guy I dated who was super ripped was interested in two things 1) his body and 2) working out.

He spend hours and hours at the gym every day and that left not many hours to spend with me!

He was sweet, just too self obsessed for my liking. Plus, once he started getting a ton of female attention, I felt threatened.

*shrugs* I guess just be yourself and what makes you happy. Somebody's bound to love ya for it!
 
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MItraveler is offline MItraveler Post #28  July 30,2010, 11:22pm
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There is a point where I think men are too large that I would not date them. I met a man that was 400 lbs and we met for a date. I was cordial during the evening to him but he wanted someone to marry him as soon as possible. I thought that was moving too fast for me thus we did not have another date. No I could not see me with him.

I agree with some other comments made that I would like someone that can keep up with me. I am very active for my size. People were amazed with me doing all the hiking I did earlier this month in the Rockies. They were much smaller in built than me and admitted they would have a hard time keeping up with me physically and complimented me for being so active.
 
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bluskies4ever is offline bluskies4ever Post #29  July 31,2010, 12:27am
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I like men of all shapes and sizes. I would probably have a problem with any extreme, either an anorexic looking or morbidly obese man. And then there are "fatists", like the titular protagonist of The Tao of Steve, heavy men who only date slender women. Sometimes called "weightists." I recently bought Stop the Insanity by Susan Powter for a buck at the library. Always wanted to read it and there is good inspiration in it.

One thing I like is a well-groomed, clean-cut man, who is 20- 40 pounds over. I saw a plainclothes police detective walking down the street a few months ago. He had a very cute face, nice haircut, and khaki slacks and a buttoned-up striped shirt (tucked in, but of course), and 20 to 40 pounds over, I guess. He looked like a very nice, decent, and intelligent person. Sometimes you can just tell, you know? I seriously doubt he was single - men like him are usually spoken for. Grooming and cleanliness and good taste are indispensable.

If a man complains about women's weight, but he's not clean, he really isn't in touch with reality. As I said, I once met a man on a coffee date who later published a diet book. He lied about his height, age, and he hadn't bathed for a while. Really? Come on. Character is foremost.
 
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susan1155 is offline susan1155 Post #30  July 31,2010, 6:40am
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I am 6"2" tall and weigh 250 - I know I am overweight and according to the BMI would be morbidly obese. Because I am tall, I "hide" it well but that is not a good thing! I am dating a man who is my height and quite heavy - but it is a topic we both talk about - and SLOWLY are working on. I came out of a marriage where my husband was morbidly obese - at least 200 lbs overweight. He was not always like that but it got worse over the years. At one point, I weighed 285! He has issues he still struggles with and would not talk so the whole thing broke down. We were together for 25 years and four children. I stayed as long as I could. I can see how my current boyfriend's weight is limiting him and our life together. It is a concern, not a deal breaker but a concern, as is my own weight. It is a huge health issue. My ex is diabetic, has high blood pressure, needs a cane, has severely limited mobility. He will likely die young - so sad for our children.
As one respondent said a lot of us are overweight in our mature years.
We can't predict the future, but we all need to remember that we can't change other people - that is up to them. "People change, but not much." Words to remember.
 
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