RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #91  July 29,2010, 12:09pm
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Coveys book, published in 1989, was required reading for a class I took in Bargaining and Negotiation the next year. I Keep my copy on my nightstand, because so much of what he writes is valid in day to day interactions with people.

I'm one of those who has a stack of 3x5 cards (really old technology) with ideas, philosophies, clues for happy living and so on. It's been rubber-banded together and added to for just about 50 years, ever since I had my first philosophy class in college. I hardly ever weed anything out and frequently add to it, and Coveys book has added a lot-especially that quote LBMM. I read a couple of these thoughts for living every morning before I get up..sort of like setting my mind to the tone for the day. Then I read my horoscope and check the weather and I'm ready to meet whatever comes to me.

Moving outside our own boundaries and family dictates and allowing ourselves to interact with others is an important part, in my mind, to continually growing. And being as open minded as I possibly can without my mind becoming something that can't hold anything new is part ow what, I hope, will help me remain interesting and vital as I age.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #92  July 29,2010, 12:41pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Coveys book, published in 1989, was required reading for a class I took in Bargaining and Negotiation the next year. I Keep my copy on my nightstand, because so much of what he writes is valid in day to day interactions with people.

I'm one of those who has a stack of 3x5 cards (really old technology) with ideas, philosophies, clues for happy living and so on. It's been rubber-banded together and added to for just about 50 years, ever since I had my first philosophy class in college. I hardly ever weed anything out and frequently add to it, and Coveys book has added a lot-especially that quote LBMM. I read a couple of these thoughts for living every morning before I get up..sort of like setting my mind to the tone for the day. Then I read my horoscope and check the weather and I'm ready to meet whatever comes to me.

Moving outside our own boundaries and family dictates and allowing ourselves to interact with others is an important part, in my mind, to continually growing. And being as open minded as I possibly can without my mind becoming something that can't hold anything new is part ow what, I hope, will help me remain interesting and vital as I age.
I really have to take a few days off and reorganize my library. I can't find anything and the bookses are back to hiding in odd places.

I push myself on technology, in part because it keeps me employable and in part because, no matter how big a pain in the neck it is, I don't want to become one of those people like so many of my peers who are still listening to nothing but prog rock on vinyl and decrying everything done after 1978 as trash. We shall not become dinosaurs, Roxy...or if we do, we shall be the awesome, flying, terrifying kind.
 
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morningsunlight is offline morningsunlight Post #93  July 29,2010, 11:33pm
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
LOL...tis true. You are the Queen of the Bold at the moment. Such heady power.

So, since that is the case...I'm putting your words in green below.

What I've found very intriguing as this topic has progress is how easy it is to misunderstand the central ideas one poster is making, and in attempts at clarification, manage to irritate that poster, which in turn irritates the poster who replied and so on ad infinitum.

It's an exceptional view of how difficult communication is, especially in writing and especially in internet posting, where our inability to hear tonal nuances, facial expression and other body language eliminates the clues that might make it easier to get what one another is actual meaning to say.

Reading this, I'm reminded of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effect People, which was actually a good book written before he decided to become a guru about everything...

One of the things he expressed, and that I occasionally remember to try and practice (but not nearly as often as I should) is: Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.

I think that plays into the concept of open-mindedness as well. As Wootz so aptly pointed out, understanding the reasons why a person believes, or acts, or speaks as they do does not excuse behaviors, but judging without an attempt at that understanding dismisses their humanity a bit.

We all get caught up in wanting to be known and understood. If I just say it this way, they'll understand, or if I just say it one more time, they'll get it.

But the deciding factor is, they have to be open to understanding and getting it. Not to agree...simply to faciliate understanding before disagreeing.

Naturally, it works best when both people are willing to engage at that level. Otherwise, it's a whole lot of talking and nobody listening. Kind of like around here sometimes.

Thanks for your thoughts. I really appreciate the spirit in which people have contribute here.
wrote :
Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.

Is that like "Be the change that you would like to see"?

I also read elsewhere the idea of acceptance/tolerance without being able to understand. This is about a lady who offers her rooms to those who are in need. Many of the people who stay there act and speak in ways that are completely beyond her understanding. She complains about their behaviors, but nonetheless accepts them (I guess she must be a very trusting, secure person).

This may be similar to agreeing to disagree. There are times when we just cannot understand each other regardless each other's sincerity and best efforts. I tend to like talking things out and seeking reasoning and explanations. But there are times when I just have to let it go, which is easier said than done for me though.
Last edited by morningsunlight; July 30,2010 at 8:06am. Reason: afterthought
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #94  July 30,2010, 12:01pm
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morningsunlight wrote :
Is that like "Be the change that you would like to see"?

I also read elsewhere the idea of acceptance/tolerance without being able to understand. This is about a lady who offers her rooms to those who are in need. Many of the people who stay there act and speak in ways that are completely beyond her understanding. She complains about their behaviors, but nonetheless accepts them (I guess she must be a very trusting, secure person).

This may be similar to agreeing to disagree. There are times when we just cannot understand each other regardless each other's sincerity and best efforts. I tend to like talking things out and seeking reasoning and explanations. But there are times when I just have to let it go, which is easier said than done for me though.
I have such a high need for privacy and quiet that I can't imagine offering rooms to people...*shudders*

I do think agreeing to disagree is necessary - not only when we cannot understand, but sometimes when we understand and don't agree.
 
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