trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #31  July 2,2010, 3:30pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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That's true Breezy, lots of people seek the company of those old palls Jonnie Walker and Jack Daniels when they're lonely. I prefer their company when they join me with my friends, they're a bit domineering when it's just them and me!

Yeahitsme I know what you mean about saying it out loud and people trying to 'fix' you. It's nice of them, they think it's a problem and you're telling them because you need help but saying you're a bit 'bored' or 'restless' or 'horny' or 'disapointed' or even a bit 'bitter' doesn't elicit the same response. We're allowed these feelings, these feelings are a reasonable (?) response to life. But loneliness is a dirty word and a desperate cry for attention and we should maybe be a little bit ashamed of ourselves for owning it.

I want to be able to say it and have people say 'yeah, me too sometimes, sucks doesn't it?' and that be the end of it. Do you know what I mean?
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #32  July 2,2010, 6:17pm
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There are oceans of feelings between us

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Isn't there a song called, "One is the Lonliest Number"?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #33  July 2,2010, 8:36pm
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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NYCpigeon wrote :
Isn't there a song called, "One is the Lonliest Number"?
Three Dog Night:

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #34  July 3,2010, 7:36am
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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As usual, another insightful thread from Trixie.

Here's something I've been noticing in my day to day walkabout life since beginning this little dating journey of mine. People out there are not smiling. They're each carrying such a load it seems, and I think wow, I wonder if that brief breezeby of the two not smilings reinforced a sense that nobody out there really cares?

I have been trying to slow things down lately. Take some time for pleasantries and make more connections with people. Maybe make one person a little less lonely that day. I always kind of did that anyway, as a large part of my day is networking and building connections with others, but I've tried to be more conscious of it lately.

We've become a rather lonely society I think. We don't reach out. I know police have told me there are some people who are so lonely, they are calling them all the time for "assistance." There was a noise, there was this, there was that, can you send someone over. Mostly older folks, and the same ones.

I do think there's a perception that if someone's lonely there's a reason, and it must be something bad about them, so we stay away. And sometimes you reach out to someone who is lonely or what not, and they lash out at you because they're not really in a good place. So maybe that sort of thing reinforces us in staying away.

Humans are social creatures. It's hard-wired into us to seek out company. So maybe that feeling of lonely is just meant to be a little uncomfortable signal to get out. Circulate. Connect.

We should be more welcoming of others when they do get out and make the attempts to connect.

Where's our compassion going to? People mostly have their social circles filled and not too interested sometimes in adding the strays to it maybe?

I think the older we get, the more people we know and lose, I think the worse it can get, too.

So yes, Trixie, we all do get lonely from time to time, and down and out, and it sucks.

Maybe the ones who won't admit that are just a little more insecure than you. They wouldn't want anyone to think that they are lonely. No uh-huh. They are OK blammit.

***
I do see and meet a lot of lonely heart people in my line of work, Trixie. I don't think it's an unusual condition for people to feel lonely these days, but you're right, most don't want to admit it.
Last edited by nightling; July 3,2010 at 8:08pm.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #35  July 3,2010, 8:29am
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I get lonely. I just accept it as part of the human condition. I don't think it has anything to do with being alone or needing to be fixed. It just is. I got lonely when I was married too.

I think people are uncomfortable with raw feelings, and loneliness is seen as more raw than happiness or even anger. It creates more vulnerability in the listener because there's not always a concrete reason for it and we all slip into it from time to time. It's like admitting that you're afraid of the dark, but eveyone knows that the dark comes on a regular basis so you trigger whatever feelings or memories of fear of the dark that the listener might have.

The danger comes in thinking that it can be fixed by anything. I don't think it can. I just think it's something that is always with us - sometimes less apparent than others. And yes, the way our society is structured highlights it quite a bit more, but I believe it was always there - even when large, extended families lived together.

So, I'm careful who I say it to, because I know there's nothing to be done about it except live with it.

But yes, Trixie, I get lonely too, and it sucks when that's the predominant feeling of the day.
 
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