How Important is Physical Attraction to You?

I don't have a 'type'...I just know it and FEEL it when it's in front of me...every one of the men I have dated and been in ltr's with look so different...so people who are so concerned with trying to be some 'ideal' from magazines or movies, etc...are just wasting time out there...paying too much attention to the outside will only get you so far...you have to actual then interact and have friendships/relationships with others...

I'm not sure what all of the circumstances were here---and I certainly support your not going out with this guy if you didn't find him attractive---but I have encountered very attractive young women who kind of rationalize turning a guy down by saying, "Well he's shallow because he only wanted to date me because I was pretty ... " so here's my ramblings on that topic:

Firstly, all guys will initially be attracted to you "just because" you're pretty.

Secondly, how do you know that was all he cared about? Did he tell you that? Did he get a chance to know you?

My point is, I was just having a conversation with a male friend of mine this past weekend about how very attractive women are, in many cases, very resistant to be asked out. He was speculating that it's because they think they have a lot of options, so they can turn a lot of guys down; or they will only date someone as attractive as they are, and are willing to wait.

I wouldn't totally discard those theories, but I also think some very attractive women resist because they have this knee-jerk, "He only wants to date me because I'm pretty!" reaction.

So I don't know if that's what happened in this case or not---it could well not be---but, to beautiful women in general---please don't hold it against guys that they think you're pretty!

All heterosexual single men want to date beautiful women, and it doesn't make them bad people (in and of itself).

That's simply isn't true. Having a good personality isn't going to give someone a pretty face, larger breast, manly muscles, manly height, etc.

Personality attraction and physical attraction are not one in the same. A good personality does not make the outside pretty, it makes the inside pretty.

Yes you are right, I shouldn't jump to conclusions about his intentions. However I have never met this guy. I have actually never even talked to him. He is my friends friend. From what she has told me, he saw what I looked like and then has been trying to get her to get a date with me. I am not sure of what else she told him about me. But all she said to me was that he said I am pretty and wants to take me out.

The reason I am turning him down has nothing to do with thinking he is shallow. I do think he is cute but I am not attracted to him. More importantly, he is a smoker which is a deal breaker. And he also has drama with an ex girlfriend because he is possibly her babies dad. I do not need any of that. In addition, I wanted a break from dating anyway. (I am not waiting for someone who I deem "attractive" enough for my own level or whatever your friend said")

I do agree that women worry that guys like them just because of their looks. I have had many negative experiences with this. Even male friends (whom now I am not friends with) have told my bfs that they were lucky to have me, not because of who I am, but because of what I look like. So it is true sometimes I do have reservations about it. I am getting better at being able to tell if a guy is more interested in me or my looks though. I can't tell with this guy because I haven't actually spoken to him or met him. It doesn't matter though because he isn't my type anyway.