Talking about Ex to opposite-sex friends

After a breakup, I just could not stop thinking about him and shared all of these with most of my male friends including new ones.

I now come to think that one friend, with whom I went out really lots of times last year, might have actually been good in a different way.

Most of my friends are males and I tend to be that close with many of them. So there was nothing special about going out with him a lot.

Indeed, I never saw a potential and never felt any romantic feelings with him at that time. All I could think of was my Ex and nobody had the qualities of my Ex.

The friend was a good listener because he was also getting over his ex-fiancee. So we shared a lot.

Recently, I have realized that I feel very comfortable with this person and that we share a lot in common. He has other good qualities that my Ex did not have. This is a new insight in my mind.

This friend went on a very long trip. So I thought that I wanted to meet him when he's back to see him from a different angle and see if I ever feel any chemistry.

He came back a few days ago. But I just saw his facebook status changing into "in a relationship."

This surprised me a little because I did not feel that he was ready to move on as I heard him talk about his hurt feelings with his Ex just a month ago. I did not feel jealous or hurt at all for his getting a new girlfriend. I just felt very happy for him. I knew how much he was hurt and needed to heal and I am happy that he now moves on. This was how we evolved as good, caring friends.

Yet, I also feel that I wasted the opportunity.....? If we did not talk about our Ex's and turned into self-help mates, could we have developed a different relationship?

Any thought?

During the time period which the two of you spent time together, you needed a friend, nothing more. At that time neither of you were ready do date so you provided each other a sounding board and comforted each other.

It is also sometimes difficult to transform from being just a friend to someones partner. It sounds that neither of you saw the potential at the time.

I don't think you missed an opportunity because neither of you were in a place to share more than friendship.

That's a different question from your original posting, isn't it?

I had a male platonic friend I met in college; we were friends for 15 years or so (have lost track of him now). Sometimes I think I really missed an opportunity there. I never thought about him as a possible boyfriend ... or more accurately, sometimes the vague idea would flit into my head and then flit right out again.

So why don't you see potential in them?

I also believe there is a small window for a relationship to occur and if it doesnt happen you go into the friend zone.

All good points.

I asked this because I read elsewhere that you should not talk about your Ex to opposite-sex friends. The reasoning behind it is that it could ruin any potentials that might grow when you are over your Ex.
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At the same time, I came to feel like, "Huh, that's an interesting idea. Why don't I even consider any potential in all these trusted friends that I have so much in common?"