Balmung6 is offline Balmung6 Post #1  June 23,2010, 11:06pm
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Having hormone vs heart issues right now - I've never been with a woman in bed, never even been kissed - and my body and heart are playing tug-of-war - one side wants to save it that 'first time' with a loved one to make it more special and give it more meaning, while the hormones want to just get it over with instead of the years of waiting and stop feeling immature for not having done it. It may seem silly to some of you for someone to say they feel immature because of that, but keep in mind that im 22 - and from the vibe i got back in high school, 4-5 years past the age i should have 'taken care' of things - one bunch was actually tactless enough to ask me and i lied and said yes (because if i said no they would have laughed themselves hoarse and told the whole room) and denied to tell them a name when they tried to get specifics.

sigh - it would indeed feel amazing to wait until marriage or at least until i found a girlfriend with romantic feelings between us, but my body is kinda running on fumes as it is - i don't know which part of my willpower will cave in first.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  June 23,2010, 11:22pm
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First, if anyone is tactless enough to ask you in front of others if you are a virgin or not (and it's not where everyone is drunk and playing truth or dare), you should tell them it's none of their business. I wouldn't even be polite about it. They are out of line and rude and really don't deserve your respect. I hope you aren't friends with this person. They obviously wanted to cause you harm by asking you this in front of others. (Cross them off your X-mas card list, too)

I would at least wait until you meet a girl you have romantic, long term feelings for. You don't want to look back and regret how it happened or who you were with.

You say willpower. I say you are mislabeling. You are frustrated and think this is not normal. If you take a look around the boards you will see many members who are also virgins. Some even much older than yourself.

Waiting isn't a bad thing. Would you rather rush it and end up with an STD because you chose someone you didn't know well. Or get a girl pregnant because you were hasty. Just take it slow and don't worry about when.

It will happen. Maybe not in the next five minutes, but eventually.
 
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Balmung6 is offline Balmung6 Post #3  June 23,2010, 11:32pm
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I wouldn't risk an STD or getting a girl with child just because i couldn't wait - this issue makes me feel a little impatient at times, but not enough to end up with long term consequences for a quick thrill. I can wait, but the problem is that my hormones are active regardless of my decision - i might not act on my hormones, but i have to deal with them until something does happen with a girl to solve that issue.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #4  June 24,2010, 3:48am
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Balmung, maybe the members in the Let's Talk About Sex group here can offer more "practical" advice than you're likely to get on the main discussion boards. I can't recall whether or not I've seen you post there.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  June 24,2010, 7:33am
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Balmung, heat of the moment experiences can make you do out of character things. If you are so close to doing the deed and then you both realize you don't have any protection, you might just bypass this very important factor. Just sayin, it happens. Even if you think you wouldn't.

Hormones run rampant in everyone. This isn't about that. This is about how you feel about it. You need to realize you can't go back once it happens. And, really, you haven't even really dated. Go do that first, then step into the bedroom fun arena.
 
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