gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #21  June 22,2010, 9:46pm
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Most of my friendships seem to be with women, i'm not quite sure why, i get on great with blokes but as soon as a conversation turns to football or cars my brain switches off. I've had my share of conversations with those women about nightmare dates, either mine or theirs and i like to think i'm not bitter about the entire gender even though i do sometimes feel like their "safe" gay friend when one or two say i feel so much like a woman that they can forget i'm a man.

I think cross gender friendships do encourage us to think of the other gender as more than just dating fodder (or the enemy in some cases) and to empathise with the other side of emotionally charged situations rather than being mega defensive whenever something is mentioned that puts our own gender in a bad light.
Sometimes i see posts where a bloke is jumping down someones throat for saying something that paints a man or even men negatively and i think to myself "Ein minuten bitter, that's actually pretty accurate most of the time." The same as when a woman posts something that other women jump on as a betrayal of the sisterhood, i do sometimes think that they can't be talking to many men in a non dating context because they seem so oblivious as to where a man would likely be on the subject.
If the only time you're ever exposed to the other side of an issue is in an adversarial context then i guess it would be pretty easy to feel bitter about the whole thing.
 
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zal is offline zal Post #22  June 23,2010, 12:12pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Well there you go Zal! Nice Guys are not nice guys, otherwise they would have female friends who were exactly that ~ friends and not a designated love target in waiting.

It's good to sort everything out for once and all.
Or they would have female friends who set them up with their friends!
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #23  June 23,2010, 1:20pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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zal wrote :
Or they would have female friends who set them up with their friends!
It's a long journey......... but they wouldn't. They wouldn't have female friends and here's why.

The Holy Drive-Thru of Lurve - No More Mr. Nice Guy

There must be a female equivalent of the Nice Guy, Jayjay suspects it may be the Good Girl and I think he's on to something but it's beyond the ambitions of this thread.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #24  June 23,2010, 3:24pm
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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trixie1868 wrote :
It's a long journey......... but they wouldn't. They wouldn't have female friends and here's why.

The Holy Drive-Thru of Lurve - No More Mr. Nice Guy

There must be a female equivalent of the Nice Guy, Jayjay suspects it may be the Good Girl and I think he's on to something but it's beyond the ambitions of this thread.
That is a totally excellent explanation of the whole Nice Guy thing.

It explains it soooo well.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #25  June 24,2010, 11:07pm
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nightling wrote :
That is a totally excellent explanation of the whole Nice Guy thing.

It explains it soooo well.
Another thing about Nice Guys is how he *is* perfectly nice when everything is going according to his script, you never disagree about anything, everything you love he loves, everything you hate he not only hates but has examples to prove it, but watch how quickly they are offended/betrayed by anything that doesn't automatically assume them to be a perfect knight in shining armour... "What? you took basic precautions when meeting me? Don't you know me at all? I thought you were different."
Of course he will "forgive" you provided you beat yourself up about it enough to get things back on track, but he's keeping a log of every word and deed to bring up later to prove that he was a saint who you treated badly because you are a damaged b*tch.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #26  June 25,2010, 9:34am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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You got him Goth. In fact a Nice Guy hasn't got any friends fullstop / period (allowing for cultural differences).

He slithers around women he wants to boink with faux fey overtures of platonic loveliness and avoids the company of men who see rather more clearly what a creep he is ~ why aren't you nice guys tipping us off about these monsters?

No one is going to stop Nice Guy being bitter. Detecting and collating proof of how women are vile and shallow because they only want men who are pigs - and all men except him are pigs to his way of thinking - is his raison d'etre.

'Obsequious gobshite' is the phrase that springs to my mind.
 
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