Whatever's Meant to Be Will Be?


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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  June 16,2010, 10:00am
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I read a lot of posts here saying some version of "whatever's meant to be will be" (WMBWB). Do you subscribe to that? What do you mean when you say that?

It seems to get used when there's a problem ... not getting along well with your SO? not sure whether to break up or not? Having trouble finding love? WMBWB

To me it seems self-defeating. Like throwing up your hands and exclaiming "Oh well! There's nothing I can do about this! " When usually, there is something you can do ... it just might be hard to figure out what that is, or it might be daunting or difficult to do, or painful to realize.

The other way I see it used is when something isn't controllable. The object of your affections not responding to your advances? WMBWB This seems like a way of consoling oneself for being unable to control life.

What do you think?
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #2  June 16,2010, 10:09am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Isn't it a version of

Expect the worst. Hope for the best. Take what comes.

Eminently sensible really.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  June 16,2010, 10:49am
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I think there is a difference between believing that fate will determine your future and finding gracious ways of living with life's ups and downs.

In the two years that I have been dating, a few friends and family members have said something like "If it's meant to be, it will happen." I quibble about that because, simply by dating, I'm trying to change my future for the better. I'm not waiting for the hand of fate to bring the perfect man to my door! (Although, that would certainly save a lot of time and trouble.)

At the same time, I'm not moaning and groaning because I'm single. I'm enjoying it in some ways. I'm also enjoying dating, most of the time. So, in that sense I am accepting my single status and all that it offers, even though I'd prefer to have a partner. I'm taking what comes, but I'm also doing things that will have an effect on my future.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #4  June 16,2010, 12:12pm
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I think it's often an excuse not to deal with a difficult truth about yourself.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  June 16,2010, 1:17pm
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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It is what it is.
Last edited by tweet37; June 16,2010 at 1:17pm. Reason: Que sera, sera !
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #6  June 16,2010, 1:52pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Enshallah.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  June 16,2010, 2:27pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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annother wrote :
In the two years that I have been dating, a few friends and family members have said something like "If it's meant to be, it will happen." I quibble about that because, simply by dating, I'm trying to change my future for the better. I'm not waiting for the hand of fate to bring the perfect man to my door! (Although, that would certainly save a lot of time and trouble.)
In that context it seems to be denying a role for your own personal initiative.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  June 16,2010, 2:48pm
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I think it's true.

It's my way of acknowledging that not everything that happens is within my power to influence or change. I do my best and that's all I can do. After that, if it's meant to happen, it will.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  June 16,2010, 3:44pm
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I agree (with Sassafras.)

This is a cop out - it's placing blame elsewhere.

It's failure to take control, and responsibility, for our life. I would never use this phrase.

***

Used in the context of a 40 year old woman wonding if she will have a child, I can see it being reasonable (since that is mainly down to chance.)

For a person wondering about whether they should call their match, it is not appropriate.

***

Another infuriating phrase is "instint is always right." Pure idiocy. Quantitative analysis is as close to right as can be acheived.
 
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Northguy is offline Northguy Post #10  June 16,2010, 4:01pm
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If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. If it's a ship of fools, sink it. Then you know for sure. I fight forward all the time. Granted there are always scenarios where there are going to be variables you just can't contend or compete with.
I don't follow this whatever will be will be and fate crap. Thats the outlook and words people give to others when they want them to quit. I've had women tell me that "Maybe your one of the guys who just was never meant to be with anyone". Words like that fit in the same catagory as "Fate". More of a cop out or excuse.
 
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