And That's Just the Way It Is!


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mzready4love is offline mzready4love Post #11  June 16,2010, 4:37am
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*For instance.
No one wants to date Charles Manson.*


I just saw a documentary about him. He gets marriage proposals in the mail several times a month.
 
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chemgal is offline chemgal Post #12  June 16,2010, 9:49pm
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Some people just decide that their opinion is the gospel truth. My sister does this all the time and it drives me nuts. They're generally very stubborn too; I've learned not to bother arguing with her (not even when she's objectively wrong) because it just makes everyone else miserable since she will never ever back down from her opinion/"truth".
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #13  June 16,2010, 10:31pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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AndieIsMe wrote :
So, my question is. When you "decide" something, whether it be about dating single moms, previously incarcerated people, someone shorter than yourself, etc., does it come from the "this is right for me" aspect, or the "everyone thinks like this" aspect? Has anyone (besides people here on the boards) ever expressed a value or POV that they claim is held by every other person?
I think when people 'decide' such things they do so on the basis of not only their own preferences but also of the type of crowd they know and hang out with. These people may very well be quite similar to them in values and preferences. Universal statements including terms such as 'no one' and 'never' are certainly not going to be accurate.

However, such overdrawn generalizations can also be representative of what many people actually think or want. For example, the 'no one wants to marry Charles Manson' claim. This statement isn't literally accurate..... but it does reflect the fact that the vast majority of women wouldn't want to marry him.
 
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DashMN is offline DashMN Post #14  June 19,2010, 1:47pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
So, my question is. When you "decide" something, whether it be about dating single moms, previously incarcerated people, someone shorter than yourself, etc., does it come from the "this is right for me" aspect, or the "everyone thinks like this" aspect? Has anyone (besides people here on the boards) ever expressed a value or POV that they claim is held by every other person?
If we are talking about objective information, then consensus-building is an important aspect in establishing the validity of an idea. Though that can have its own detriments in that it can take a while to build a consensus with revolutionary new ideas. But in the end it generally prevents society from adopting or clinging to beliefs that are untenable.

When it comes to subjective views, such as with dating single mothers, the belief that, "everyone (or even most people) thinks like this", can only really stem from the need to find psychological validation for one's own ideas. The ever-present human need to feel that, "I'm okay". One's acceptability to the herd seems to be an important consideration in many people's thought processes, even if only subconsciously. Acceptability is then established by the belief that, "they think like I do." Some will adopt the views of the masses as a means of finding that validation. Others will deceive themselves that their view is in the majority as a means of finding that validation. Still others will ignore the majority and hold to uncommon and/or personal ("right for me") views without the need of deceiving themselves about the commonality of the view. Each approach has its benefits, and each has its pitfalls when taken to extremes.

To many, the world somehow seems a more secure place when they allow themselves to believe that their understanding of the world is absolute. Consequently, many people have a difficult time opening their minds to possibilities beyond the "truths" that they cling to......and that's just the way it is.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #15  June 19,2010, 2:34pm
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Good post, DashMN.
 
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