Are Politics a Deal Breaker?


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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  June 9,2010, 12:25am
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I don't have a strong political interest level. I do have some strong views on a few particular subjects, but none that I see as having to be believed by my dates.

I've read a few profiles where the men say they are extremely political (one way or the other) and don't want to date anyone who has differing views. Considering where I live and the typical type of person expressing this deal breaker, it really is no surprise to me. But, it got me thinking.

Are the political views or your dates a deal breaker for you? If you are an ultra liberal (or conservative) would dating someone with opposing views be unacceptable to you? For those closer to the middle of the road, do you lean more one way than the other and want your date to lean the same way?


Just as a side note. When my mom and dad met they were on opposite sides (Republican and Democrat). Over the years one has migrated. They are now both very much of the same political beliefs. So, I believe that people can make "it work" even when not holding the same political beliefs.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #2  June 9,2010, 2:41am
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In theory, I can see myself rejecting someone because of his political stance. There are some political/social/economic beliefs that I find morally repugnant, and it's hard for me to believe that a man who espouses them would be a good match for me on an emotional level.

I'm not talking Dem/Repub here, though. I can see having different political allegiance, and the value of different approaches to solving problems or running the country. What would stop me in my tracks, though, are things that betray careless thinking, parroting political "lines", and supporting actions that come from dangerous fringe elements. I see a lot of that around here, which is why I was not enthusiastic about dating locally.
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #3  June 9,2010, 3:51am
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Good points, Spider, especially about the parroting.

I've always been pretty much middle-of-the-road. For years I worked at a public affairs firm and got to know several lobbyists very well. Now, they tend to be more cynical than the average non-professional partisan, but I found myself enjoying the opportunity to debate issues with them. Intellectual 'play' is a real turn-on for me, and I found myself actually developing crushes on some of the guys whose politics were opposite mine.

That said, I would have a hard time getting into a relationship with someone whose stand on my "hot button" issues is opposite mine.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #4  June 9,2010, 4:02am
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Because of my job, I know there are a lot of people that automatically make assumptions about my political views.

I get tired of the constant bickering between parties. It seems like if one side says "it's a beautiful, sunny day," the other side has to point out the fact that there are some clouds in the sky.

I also grow weary of the assumptions both sides make. Apparently both sides hate any number of people and steal candy from babies and kick puppies.

Politics for me would be a dealbreaker if it was always the kind of discussion where she would feel the need to debase me as a person for holding a certain viewpoint.
 
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rix is offline rix Post #5  June 9,2010, 4:47am
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I believe P.J. O' Rourke said it best when he replied; "Why worry about the communists, when there are so many democrats that need to be jailed."
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #6  June 9,2010, 5:03am
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Yes. There are various political views I just do not respect. I also need to be with someone who cares at least somewhat about what's going on in the political world.
 
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Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #7  June 9,2010, 5:23am
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My guy and I are registered in different parties and do hold some opposite views, that for some people are deal breakers, i.e. abortion. But we are both civil adults and not expecting the other to be a clone. That level of civil discourse it one of the things we have lost in the last few years throughout the country. Maybe my training as a college debater allows me to see that there is always more than just one side to any argument. It really is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #8  June 9,2010, 6:17am
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My gf and I have very different political views. She's a capital "C" conservative and I'm a soft "l" liberal. We argue about corporate/government economics, foreign policy, taxation, the death penalty and justice system ... all kinds of stuff, and we rarely agree on anything. LOL!

I know she won't change her views, she knows I won't change mine. It doesn't hurt our relationship one bit. In fact, we both really enjoy trying to "win" debates with each other. And when we really rile each other up, the after-debate sex is hot! It's quite fun.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  June 9,2010, 8:46am

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I don't think I can date anybody who's ultra conservative as well as being an ultra liberal.

Normally it's not the political affiliation that might turn me away, but it has a lot of things with their views on various issues.
 
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Breezy1 is offline Breezy1 Post #10  June 9,2010, 8:53am
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insertscreenname wrote :
My gf and I have very different political views. She's a capital "C" conservative and I'm a soft "l" liberal. We argue about corporate/government economics, foreign policy, taxation, the death penalty and justice system ... all kinds of stuff, and we rarely agree on anything. LOL!

I know she won't change her views, she knows I won't change mine. It doesn't hurt our relationship one bit. In fact, we both really enjoy trying to "win" debates with each other. And when we really rile each other up, the after-debate sex is hot! It's quite fun.
You even manage to interject sex into a political thread
 
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