How good are you at "I'm sorry"?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  June 8,2010, 9:24am
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When you are wrong, is it easy for you to admit it and apologize?

If not, why not?

If so - do you feel that has enhanced your personal relationships? Why or why not?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  June 8,2010, 9:36am

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
When you are wrong, is it easy for you to admit it and apologize?

If not, why not?

If so - do you feel that has enhanced your personal relationships? Why or why not?
For me personally, it's not hard to say sorry. It's a powerful word that can almost instantly diffuse a heated argument. I've used it in real life, I've used it here. Too bad many people take more pleasure in winning an argument than focusing on peace. I have yet to find a person who does not appreciate an apology especially if they feel that you've wronged them. The key is (I think for women) is that you have to know what you're apologizing for....saying sorry without knowing why, will actually downgrade you from sleeping on the couch to sleeping on the floor next to Fifi and Barney

Where do I learn this wisdom from?? My dad. He told me often times that when he and my mom had an argument, he always apologize first and mom always say the same..before you know it they go into the 'no...i'm sorry...' 'no...no it's me...' 'no really i'ts me!' apologizing contest.

Been married 45 years...and counting.

I will have to say though....I expect (gasp!) my future partner to have the same humbleness to say sorry. I've been in a situation (in real life and here) where the person knows I'm upset but made no effort in apologizing. To me that's a huge dealbreaker.
Last edited by PY_2; June 8,2010 at 9:38am.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #3  June 8,2010, 9:55am

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PY_2 wrote :
I expect (gasp!) my future partner to have the same humbleness to say sorry. I've been in a situation (in real life and here) where the person knows I'm upset but made no effort in apologizing. To me that's a huge dealbreaker.
A woman apologizing? It's becoming clear how such a tasty plate as yourself remains yet undevoured.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #4  June 8,2010, 10:00am

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hankscorpio wrote :
A woman apologizing? It's becoming clear how such a tasty plate as yourself remains yet undevoured.
I still have hope!!
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #5  June 8,2010, 10:08am
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
When you are wrong, is it easy for you to admit it and apologize?

If not, why not?

If so - do you feel that has enhanced your personal relationships? Why or why not?
I am unfortunately quite good at apologizing having made lots of mistakes in my 44 years.

I agree with PY. Nothing makes me madder than someone caring more about being "right" than about my feelings and using it as an excuse to ignore my concerns.

I always feel like it is better to apologize if I've hurt someone's feelings, but if they won't reciprocate and they're always "right" and you're always "wrong" that gets very very old quick.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #6  June 8,2010, 10:12am
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Many women don't apologize to men, they explain very nicely to us why we're wrong.

I've had to get darn good at it over the years for this very reason.

In all seriousness, I'm very stubborn and find it hard to apologize, I'll usually try to show it somehow before the words come out. They will eventually, though, when I'm clearly in the wrong and I see the error of my ways.

Edit: In one sense, being able to apologize has naturally helped with honesty and openness and trust in my relationships, but flip-side, it's also given manipulative women ammunition to pull out later and throw in my face when it suits them.
Last edited by insertscreenname; June 8,2010 at 11:38am.
 
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jacques102 is offline jacques102 Post #7  June 8,2010, 11:21am
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
When you are wrong, is it easy for you to admit it and apologize?

If not, why not?

If so - do you feel that has enhanced your personal relationships? Why or why not?
I have no problem apologizing when I am wrong. It has taken some practice over the years though. Sometimes you just got to step back and look at things and realize you were wrong. I think with men, some, more then others, there is that huge ego thing going on that gets in the way of admitting they are wrong.

I truly believe it has enhanced my personal relationships. I also think that the people that you do have relationships with will find it much easier to admit they are wrong, after they see you do not have a problem with it.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  June 8,2010, 11:51am
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jacques102 wrote :
I have no problem apologizing when I am wrong. It has taken some practice over the years though. Sometimes you just got to step back and look at things and realize you were wrong. I think with men, some, more then others, there is that huge ego thing going on that gets in the way of admitting they are wrong.

I truly believe it has enhanced my personal relationships. I also think that the people that you do have relationships with will find it much easier to admit they are wrong, after they see you do not have a problem with it.
****

I agree with this too. When you are wrong you are wrong. Nothing looks more ridiculous than trying to act like you weren't and blaming it on the other person or whatever.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #9  June 8,2010, 12:31pm
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My ex was never wrong, ever. I am not sure I ever heard words I am sorry. He did tell me once he would have done a few things differently--still not I am sorry.

I say I am sorry too easily sometimes. My ex totally played into this and made me feel like everything was my fault. I still have to ask friends honestly am I in the wrong here.

I appreciate someone who can admit fault. I do not want a door mat (and I work to make sure I am not one) but please if you are wrong admit it, apologize and move on.
 
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Breezy1 is offline Breezy1 Post #10  June 8,2010, 12:42pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
Many women don't apologize to men, they explain very nicely to us why we're wrong.

I've had to get darn good at it over the years for this very reason.
Okay, let me explain to you what was wrong about this post

Number one.....
 
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