6 Situations When the "Real You" Emerges

6 Situations When the 'Real You' Emerges

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6 Situations When the 'Real You' Emerges


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 26,2008, 5:25pm

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We all try to remain on our best behavior when we are dating someone new. But eventually we slip and get tired, irritated or whiny. See how certain situations can bring out the worst in us and what it means when it happens to person you're dating.
 
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lshn629 is offline lshn629 Post #2  May 28,2008, 5:48am
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Good article, especially about the travleing item. That made me realize I was with the wrong person, first day into a 4 day trip, made the other 3 miserable!
 
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Fleenasmoth is offline Fleenasmoth Post #3  May 28,2008, 6:44am
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Love this group and its ideas!
 
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chillenbrother is offline chillenbrother Post #4  May 28,2008, 6:48am
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This is so true... Respect is the key. When you love someone, one should always show the greatest degree of respect. When you truly love, you will love them like your taking your last breath. I want my words are last breath to always say I LOVE YOU
 
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divavee is offline divavee Post #5  May 28,2008, 7:22am
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A good rule to follow is do unto others...
 
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horselady is offline horselady Post #6  May 28,2008, 7:45am
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Excellant article...my mom used to say if you really want to know all about your mate..take a canoe in the middle of a lake and tip it over...(first make sure they can swim)[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif[/img]
 
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lm124 is offline lm124 Post #7  May 28,2008, 8:00am
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Shouldn't "the real you" be the best part?

This assumes that everyone is faking being a wonderful person to just attract a mate and that things go downhill from there. That is NOT my take on how my next relationship will be.

I have a lot to offer... and anyone I date will be getting a lot of fun, a wealth of understanding and attention and a wonderful dating experience. Life does happen and it's not always positve... but sharing it is good... doesn't have to be whiny or negative. I'm not that way and wouldn't be attracted to anyone who operates that way either.I figure my worst is a h*ll of a lot better that some other peoples best! I just need someone with the same attitude that isn't into the drama...
 
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newmexicowriter is offline newmexicowriter Post #8  May 28,2008, 8:48am
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See how certain situations can bring out the worst in us and what it means when it happens to person you're dating.

You need a "the" before "person" in this sub head. thanks. good piece!!
 
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moorepoetic is offline moorepoetic Post #9  May 28,2008, 8:51am
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This is a great article. Sometimes the truth of who we are scares us and others. Let's hope we all choose to fail forward and are open to enough to love that we will wisdom for what is revealed.

Having observed this in a former mate, I discovered later discovered in marriage just how important these situations are in revealing what my life really would have been like. Being naive and certainly wanting to believe the best about my former mate kept me in denial. So now as Maya Angelous says " When people tell you or show you who they are believe them" No adding and no subtracting now use wisdom to decide how or if to move forward.

[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]
 
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Marron777 is offline Marron777 Post #10  May 28,2008, 10:24am
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I need help/advice:

My boyfriend came home after a long day, and I went to his house to takehim dinner. He is tired and has had too much to drink while at a meeting. I am going outside to the barn anyway, and he asks if I will feed his horse and dog while I am outside. I say "sure". He gets mad and tells me I am f**king stupid if I would actually feed his animals for him when he is right there. And even more stupid if I would actually think that he would want me to feed his animals for him so that he can go to bed. When he gets upset something about me is always stupid... my logic, my thoughts, my feelings, my conversation.

He has told me that if I talk to his "ex" (he wasn't ever married, had a daugther withhis "ex"when she got pregnant on their first date/time, and he HATES this woman) that our relationship will be over. She contacts me and invites me to do stuff and I tell her "no thank you". He gets so angry that I don't just ignore her totally. That seems so rude to me and that's not who I am. I don't see the harm in a polite reply to say no. His anger and hatred towards her almost broke us up this past weekend. Should I be concerened?

And he drives while drinking beer with his 12 yr old daughter in the car. He takes his showers with his bedroom and bathroom doors open while she is in the house and even when she has friends over. He walks from the bathroom to the bedroom w/o clothes on and if the daugther were to walk around the corner she would see everything. I have tried to tell him to close the doors and he tells me that it's no big deal, she's a kid, and doesn't have a perverted mind like I do. I almost think he wants her to see him.

I am so confused. I have been seperated/divorced for almost 7 years and this is the first man I have really dated and had any sort of boyfriend relationship with. He can be so kind and thoughtful, and then mean and hateful. And I am wondering if his lack of respect for the laws and modesty/privacy when his daughter is around is indicative of something deeper? I wish they had a situation about this in the article.... if he is angry and mean when he's been drinking, is that the real him?

Thanks.. any help is appreciated.
 
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