emptjk is offline emptjk Post #1  April 15,2010, 3:22pm
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I just recently got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship, and this is the first time i realized i am basing my happiness on companionship with my partners. I've been reading a lot of the threads and when i read the nice guy descriptions i feel that is me, i dont feel i am a doormat i will stand up for myself and be a man. However I feel the relationship is all about pleasing the women and forgetting my own needs. i'm guessing its the feeling of low self-worth. I think all i need is to be loved, yet i can't break my mindset.

Then i realized that my main issue is I am not happy with me or who i am. i dont know why. I've read comments just embrace who you are, but i dont know how to. Everytime i try my mind goes back to the failed relationships. Is it me trying too hard to make someone else happy because i cant make myself happy?

I guess what all that was getting at is, how can i begin to embrace who i am, or be happy with myself.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 15,2010, 3:45pm
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If you are sure this is your problem, this is the sort of thing a psychologist goes into business to solve.

That could be the way to go?

Otherwise, I suggest simply putting your foot down, and not allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  April 15,2010, 5:26pm
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emptjk wrote :
Then i realized that my main issue is I am not happy with me or who i am. i dont know why. I've read comments just embrace who you are, but i dont know how to.
This is a very interesting observation. "Being who you are" presumes that who you are is something either clear in your mind, or fully developed or both. In fact, most of us are in a constant state of redefining ourselves and reimagining our futures.

Does anyone else have thoughts on what it really means to "be who you are?"
 
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fanofsteel is offline fanofsteel Post #4  April 15,2010, 8:02pm
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annother wrote :
This is a very interesting observation. "Being who you are" presumes that who you are is something either clear in your mind, or fully developed or both. In fact, most of us are in a constant state of redefining ourselves and reimagining our futures.

Does anyone else have thoughts on what it really means to "be who you are?"
I've always thought "Be who you are/Just be yourself" is an overrated cliche. I mean, who else could you possibly be? For some people, being who they are is not much fun, and it's not necessarily good advice. Maybe a better line would be, "Be who you want to be."
 
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