username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #1  April 15,2010, 7:49am
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Men ditch 'nice guy' style, get more dates - CNN.com

I would like to hear your opinion as to validity of the observations made in the attached article.

my personal experience, which covers a wide variety of situations and people, is that the article is spot on. what are your personal experiences?
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  April 15,2010, 7:51am

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Why must we do the research for you?

Alright, read it. I think there is some accuracy there. I have some issues with the lable nice guy because the guys they describe as a nice guy are actually doormats. By doormat I mean a guy who lets you walk all over them. Just like a man would use a doormat woman, well women do the same and then grow bored with it.

I don't think it says women want bad boys so much as a nice guy that will stand up for himself. Not sure if that makes sense.
Last edited by Can_I_just_be_Jo; April 15,2010 at 7:56am. Reason: read it
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #3  April 15,2010, 7:53am
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I think it's cus black doesn't show stains.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  April 15,2010, 7:56am
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wrote :
The dating coach tells men to stop being so available and flexible. He advises the men to leave a little mystery because women, despite what they say, do desire the chase.
I say this to women, that they should be doing this, and they call it game playing.

I thought men were so opposed to games lol
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  April 15,2010, 8:00am
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You know, if guys want to compete with women, then lets compete. I'll do everything I can to make sure I win.

Is that the kind of relationship men want with women?
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #6  April 15,2010, 8:03am
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I have a theory.

Some women WANT nice guys. They really do. But they want them to be only nice to them. They want to end up with the nice guy, but they don't want them to be nice first.

They want to think "I'm good enough that this guy will change for me, when everyone else before them failed".

Well, many times, we see what ends up. They get the bad boys, complain at how badly they get treated. The real complaint, is why these bad boys didn't change their ways for them.

Answer, you can't change people. Only they can change themselves, and they have to want to do so.

Also, as i've said many times, bad boys are honest, for the most part. They are who they are, because they want to be like that. The honesty is what attracts. Nice guys, rarely are what they say they are. They're too busy thinking of what they "should" do, that they forget who they are and become "marshmallow" or "doormats".

Bottom line. Don't be a nice guy, but don't be a bad boy either. Be YOU.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  April 15,2010, 8:07am
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"The dichotomy isn't between good guys or bad guys," he explained. "It's between weak guys and strong guys."

I think this says a lot.
 
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SavannahGal is offline SavannahGal Post #8  April 15,2010, 8:18am
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I wish that when people write something on this topic, they wouldn't say something that makes it lose all credibility to me like "Academic studies have reaffirmed that women prefer the bad boy archetype over the nice guy."

How does the reasonable description of "women want you to show them respect and love, but they also want you to be a man and take charge" translate to they want a bad boy? That's a huge leap.

I agree with the comment that women don't want a doormat. There are all kinds of men in the world who don't walk around constantly trying to please everyone, but who are also respectful and considerate (= not jerks).

This article has a split personality -- it is reasonable at times, but in parts it falls prey to something I hate -- reducing the choices of men we have to pick from to those two equally undesirable stereotypes (nice guys and bad boys).
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  April 15,2010, 8:20am
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i'm really frustrated with this whole subject. we definitely needed another thread on this to go with a who pays and when to have sex thread
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #10  April 15,2010, 8:24am
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Nanette wrote :
i'm really frustrated with this whole subject. we definitely needed another thread on this to go with a who pays and when to have sex thread
But we already know it's OK to have sex on the first date.
 
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