Nice guy vs real man.

1. THE NICE GUY: Any man who exhibits any combination of the following behaviors -

a. Low self-esteem; doesn't value himself highly. Might be out of past failures or other deep-rooted

emotional issues.
b. Constantly seeks approval/validation/attention from others, usually out of a low amount of self worth. (see

a.)
c. Insecure; doesn't feel that a high quality person should like him (See a.) so is constantly fearful that

he will lose them.
d. Controlling/possessive/domineering/clingy/suffocating behavior, over-calling, etc. (see c.)
e. Idealizes potential mates (overlooks flaws AKA "Puts them on a pedestal") as well as relationships.

(invests large amounts of emotion/time/energy/money into relationships early on)
f. Doesn't take responsibility for his actions.
g. Claims he's victimized; attributes his own flaws and shortcomings to external circumstances and/or other

people. (see f)
h. Self-conscious/nervous around attractive women; Cares what others think, doesn't want anyone's

disapproval. (see b)
i. Strong amounts of jealousy (See d); makes people feel guilty when they enjoy time WITHOUT him.
j. Kisses-up/tries to be totally agreeable/submissive to try and "score points" with a woman.
k. Doesn't lead; he's submissive, always wants to make sure EVERYTHING he's doing is OK with her;

over-apologetic.
l. Doesn't draw boundaries; gives women whatever they want in return for love/sex/approval; accepts

second-class behavior for the possible reward of the aforementioned. Doesn't say "No" very often; doesn't

want to cause any "waves". (see h)
m. Poor/weak body language; little or no eye contact, leans forward out of nervousness, fast jerky movements,

nervous ticks/fidgety habits, hands in pockets, bad posture/doesn't stand up straight.
n. Is easily emotionally destabilized; gets worked up over meaningless things.
o. Common us of self-deprecating humor to get approval/pity/empathy. (See b)
p. Feels guilt for his natural sexual desires, may even be triggered by LOOKING at a woman.
q. Whines/complains; usually to get pity/empathy.
r. Favors short-sighted/instant gratification thinking.

The "nice-guy" is the personification of attributes in a man that women ultimately DO NOT feel attraction for.

Any man who wants to have a genuine success with women should AVOID these at all costs

Women all around the glove, despite different backgrounds and upbringing, generally respond the same way to

this type of man.

Nice-guys almost always act victimized and attribute their lack of success to the outside factors they claim

are out of their control. They think it's not their fault ("SHE'S IMMATURE FOR LIKING BAD BOYS" "SHE DOESN'T

RECOGNIZE GOOD GUYS WHEN SHE SEES THEM" "SHE HAS ISSUES". Sound familiar?) Many nice-guys harbor a secret

belief that they're better than other men ("I bought her 20 roses on the 2nd date" "I waited in the rain for

her for 3 hours" "I lent her money when she went over her credit card limit"). However, the reality is that

you're doing something "NICE" to get something in return. You are being manipulative. Nice guys will go

through their entire lives living in a continual state of self-deception; convinced that they are "Good guys"

and that they are better than others.

The fact of the matter is that nice guys do not have traits that make them appealing/attractive to the

opposite sex.

They lack everything in a man that practically every woman wants. And that man is -

2. THE REAL MAN: Any man who exhibits any combination of the following behaviors.

a. Has a HIGH amount of self-esteem; views himself as high-status.
b. Doesn't need any outside approval or attention from ANYONE to be happy.
c. Not self-conscious; doesn't care what others think of him.
d. Is NEVER insecure or nervous (especially around desirable women) and he sub-communicates this in every

little way.
e. Self-confident; NEVER arrogant or insecure. POSSIBLY slightly cocky. May tease women in a friendly way.
f. Does not let outside events/other people's opinions (see c) emotionally destabilize him; he is always in

control of his emotions.
g. Takes full responsibility for all of his actions.
h. Never whines or complains to get approval or empathy. Always accepts the world for what it is.
i. Judged people based on character and personality. Not outward appearance/material items.
j. Can be brutally honest while still being respectful with everyone including himself. He is not afraid to

put someone in their place when they are out of line; isn't afraid to speak his mind.
k. Isn't afraid to draw boundaries.
l. Mature in every sense of the word.
m. Has a purpose in life that he never betrays and ambitiously works toward.
n. Goal-oriented thinker; favors long term gratification over short.
o. Isn't afraid to lead and take control of a situation; doesn't have hesitancy moving forward.
p. Never feels ashamed for his sexual desires and needs. Always confident.
q. Is always "himself" and is content with whatever that is.
r. Doesn't tolerate disrespect to himself, his property, or his time.
s. Doesn't let women use their sexual power to get anything from him.
t. Loyal.
u. Compassionate.
v. Independent.
w. Is perfectly happy and fulfilled being single.
x. Comfortable in the presence of other high-status and/or sophisticated people.
y. Doesn't experience jealousy.
z. Strong confident and powerful body language. (stands up straight, doesn't break eye contact, doesn't have

any nervous ticks, doesn't have quick/jerky movements)
a1. Doesn't feel the need to compensate for himself through gifts.
a2. DOESN'T invest all of his emotion/time into a relationship too early on. He remains an ambiguous

challenge.

The "REAL MAN" is the polar opposite of the "nice-guy". He is the manifestation of traits in a man that women

universally and naturally feel the emotion of attraction for.

Anyone have any tips for the "Nice Guy"?

Yup. Grow a pair. Women will like you. Doormats are a total turn-off.

Not saying that to insult you personally or to encourage jerkface behaviour, but finding self-confidence and strength is key to finding a great woman.

Thanks, but it's not really that easy. I can give it a shot, but I just don't want to end up like the kind of guys I can't stand. You know, the smart-aleck, overconfident jerk-archetype. I always believed that if I have to become that just to get a girlfriend, then I don't deserve one.

I guess you could say that I'm scared to change. Stupid, right?

Thanks, but it's not really that easy. I can give it a shot, but I just don't want to end up like the kind of guys I can't stand. You know, the smart-aleck, overconfident jerk-archetype. I always believed that if I have to become that just to get a girlfriend, then I don't deserve one.

I guess you could say that I'm scared to change. Stupid, right?

Nope. Being scared to change is not stupid at all. It's natural to feel comfortable in our set ways of thinking. I'd never encourage anyone to change and act like the arrogant snots you mention above. Let them be the jerks. You be you.

What I am encouraging is to embrace who you are and what you stand for as a person. This is the great self-confidence fallacy--you don't really change anything about you, at least not in core values, identity and personality. Self-confidence comes with accepting and understanding yourself, not by being like any certain type of man. You don't "act" in any particular way--you just "are". When that happens, the whole way you interact with others and express yourself does "change", but only in the sense of how people perceive you. It's an internal "realisation" process as opposed to an "adopting a persona" pantomime show.

Make more sense? That's what I mean by growing a pair. The "pair" metaphorically being identity and self-awareness, not the things swaying between one's legs.