What do you think is a sexual assault - both men and women?

Thanks Meri - I am too ashamed to tell people close to me given my professional status - and parents and other family members - I don't want to anger or worry them. I really do want to report - but feel it may cause a scandal given my profession.

The guy deserves to get his a55 kicked. If you fill out a police report how would anyone else know. That information is between you, the police and the idiot who overstepped his boundries. I truely doubt the guy will be telling anyone once he gets arrested.

Thanks Meri - I am too ashamed to tell people close to me given my professional status - and parents and other family members - I don't want to anger or worry them. I really do want to report - but feel it may cause a scandal given my profession.

What if the unwanted touching was not in a dating context? But rather someone who just had the hots for you and it was not reciprocated?

Thanks for supporting me The problem is that I am a lawyer in a small legal community - many fellow lawyers and judges know me - thus - my peers would find out if he was charged and I had to testify

Yes, I understand your concern. I also understand your reluctance to report it due to potential scandal and embarrassment to you. The only thing I would like to say about this, is that if you don't report it, he may do this to someone else. And that someone else may be someone you love and care about. If you do not report it and he re-offends, that is not your fault. It is his fault.

I understand feeling ashamed. I felt contaminated more than anything. This is why I think it very important that you have someone you can talk with. I also did not tell my family, but I did tell a counsellor, worked through how I felt about things, what the law said and how it could protect me and ultimately I made the decision to report it. I am unsure of the Canadian laws, here victims of sexual assault cannot be named in the press. Is the same protection in place for you?

I think it is a double edged sword and a dilemma, because notwithstanding what happened to you (and I utterly believe it is true and I am very sorry it has happened),

...your failure to report it, enables the perpetrator do to do it over and over, in the future without fear of consequences.


It is further complicated in cases where false charges of sexual harrassment are sometimes made.


A vivid example is depicted in a British novel called "Term of Trial" (1963) by James Barlow, that I read about 40+ years ago.

From imdb: (I have expanded the plot summary slightly)

"Graham Weir is a middle aged alcoholic schoolteacher whose criminal record for refusing to fight during the Second World War has prevented him from progressing further in his teaching career. He is looked upon with disdain by his headmaster, his pupils and even his wife.

The one person who appreciates his shyness and warmth is one of his pupils, Shirley Taylor. After Weir offers to give her free private tuition, the 15 year old pupil slowly falls in love with her teacher. She treats this as an obsession that can never be fulfilled but in her frustration and naivety, she reveals her true feelings for Weir and offers to sleep with him. Weir gently refuses and intends to forget about the episode but a new problem surfaces in his life when Taylor accuses him of indecent assault..."

Im not sure if that exists - maybe in exceptional circumstances- I could explore that option. I shouldn't feel deterred because of my profession but I do.