Asking permission from her parents


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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  April 10,2010, 10:47am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I was just reading on another thread a reference to a man 'asking permission' from a woman's parents to marry her. What do y'all think of this? It reminds me of a time when men almost 'purchased' women from their parents. At the least, it almost seems like she's a little girl who can't do things unless mommy and daddy say she can. What do y'all think?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 10,2010, 10:49am
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Yep.

Ancient concept.
 
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useakiss is offline useakiss Post #3  April 10,2010, 10:53am
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Whatever you do, don't sign your name until you know exactly how much her dowery is worth!
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #4  April 10,2010, 10:58am
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I asked Mrs StuckOnYou's parents for permission to marry her. I did make her agree beforehand though that actually getting married was not contingent on their answer.

Seemed like common courtesy to me, but a different era I guess. And no dowry...
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #5  April 10,2010, 11:22am
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Ridiculous in this day and age.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #6  April 10,2010, 11:25am
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Are you thinking of asking, JayJay? Lol.

I think those days are over. Not that I think there is anything wrong with it. I think the intent is chivalry and making a good impression on the parents.

The most important thing is whether the two individuals want to get married, of course.

I think there was an episode on Everybody Loves Raymond where Robert asked Amy to marry him, but wanted to do the right thing by asking for her hand to the parents. He made the trip by himself and asked the question. They told him "No." Both Robert and Amy were terribly upset about it and in the end decided to get married anyway. It was funny, though.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  April 10,2010, 11:31am
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This used to be common in the days when women tended to get married younger, often going right from living with their parents to living with their husbands, and it was also a time when it was harder for women to support themselves because they didn't have career options.

There are still some people who do this for tradition's sake, and I don't see anything wrong with it. It's their marriage, not yours.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  April 10,2010, 11:31am
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Personally I think this is rather silly since you would know based on the parents if they like you or hate you.

I could see this being done just to appease the dad who is an old traditionalist.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  April 10,2010, 11:31am

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lol! I have the exact opposite thought to this question.

I would find it odd if the man that asks to marry me does not ask my parents too. I assume he will ask me first (lol!) but I would assume he will at some point speak to my parents in regards to marrying me with the hope that they not only approve but are proud to call him son.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #10  April 10,2010, 11:35am
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ami1uwant wrote :
Personally I think this is rather silly since you would know based on the parents if they like you or hate you.

I could see this being done just to appease the dad who is an old traditionalist.
My ex asked more for my parents' blessing than permission. It was a just a polite gesture on his part, since it's not like they were going to say no.

I think it made my parents happy ... just like most of the stuff I agreed to for the wedding that I didn't care about.
 
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