Having been cheated on, I would have to agree with Lordmarcus, say something, the sooner the better. It will initiallt hurt, but your friend will appreciate, eventually, that you came to there defense.


In my current relationship my gal enjoys a girls' night out on a semi-regular basis. I think it's great, she gets to blow off some steam, and I have time for my friends. I have one issue though, and I want to know from you all, especially the gals, if I am wrong in feeling the way I do. She likes to dance and says that she usually dances with the other girls. However, she does occasionally dance with a guy, no touching she says, just moving on the dance floor. This bothers me, and I admit to being a bit of a jealous man. I'd like to hear from the gals as to whether they consider this an acceptable behavior, or if it is out of the ordinary. If it's common, and no pronlem, I'll work on myself and not make an issue out of it.


We go ballroom dancing on a regular basis and I don't see why this other would be necessary. Couldn't she jus tdance with her girlfriends?





Let me know if I'm wrong!

ji my name is lb .im in a siminluar situation.my boss is haveing an affair with one of our co workers. i dont know her husband very well and she is my best freind.i really dont think im her best freind but she has said we were close freinds.she denies the affair but these guys are always together and her husband is unaware.i dont know what to do because this thing is really happening and once i tell her i dont beleive her and that her husband should know shes been comeing back to work when he works late to see this guy.

no i dont think you should . unless with out a dout you are 100% sure . and i think you should talk to the cheater frist. before snitch on something thats nothing. but if your freinds a cheater and the other party dosent see that. then they are probly meet for each other . and you should leave it alone

I had a situation at work. A client told me something she had heard about my boss and another co-worker and their spouses. It was not the first time I had heard this rumor ( andI had previously dismissed it asgarbage)but she gave an extra detail thatI hadn'tpreviously heard and it made me think that there might be some truth to therumor. I was very uncomfortable having the conversation withthe client and didn't know what to do with the information. I asked the client not to repeat any of this info to anyone else because it's how horrible rumors get started and people get hurt, yada, yada, yada.... It was, however,information that I would want tohear if itwas aboutme and my marriage. I thought that my boss and the others involved in the rumor would want to know that their neighbors and clientele were discussing this rumor with people around town and with their employees. I thought that if there was any truth to it, they may wantto know that other people were observing their behaviorso that they could alter their behvaior. I also thought that if there was truth to the rumor but not all parties were aware ofthe behavior of the others, then someone was going to get hurt pretty badly.Anyway, I felt that the rumor needed to be ended one way or another and that my boss needed to know what was being talked about inside her place of business and in her neighborhood. Since I'm not a close friend of my boss, I didn't feel comfortable going straight to her with the info. So, I went to the one person who I knew would be discreet about it andthat I thought my boss would be more comfortable hearing it from. The person i confided in told me that she, too, felt the information needed to be passed along to my boss and that she would talk to her. She also warned me that my boss would most likely want to talk to me about it. I told her that there was no need for her to speak to me about it. I had no further information to give and I would be very uncomfortable speaking to my boss about it. I really didn't even want my boss to know that the info had come from me or who the client was who had told me. Anyway, to make a long story short, there was major drama. My boss called me and wanted to know who the info had come from, I wouldn't tell her so she figured it out herself. She then called me and told me that she was going to confront the client about it. And she did just that. That client was then very upset with me anda business relationshipended. I was a complete basket case. I immediatley second guessedmy decision. I felt lke a complete idiot!Both my boss and co-worker spoke with me and told me not to worry about it. They were glad I had let them know about the rumor so that they had the chance to quelch it. They said to forget about it, it would never be mentioned again, and they asked me not to discuss it with anyone else.I have been so uncomfortable at work ever since. I don't know that I would do the same thing again. It ended up being blown so far out of proportion and I don't feel that it was handled professionally at all. The person I had initiallyconfided in was worried that I would quit my job over the whole matter, and it had crossed my mind but, I have just sucked it up and moved forward. I really enjoy my job, my co-workers and my schedule, but, OMG, I feel so awkward at work anymore....

It is never the business of anybody else to "snitch" on a friend. Number one that can ruin the friendship between you and that person, and it is totally unnecessary. In my opinion, it is never another persons place to step into therelationship with intentions of destroying it, because that is what will happen, then you are playing in the middle of a situation that was never yours to be in the middle of anyways. Yes, the person who committed the act is ultimately the person who is taking the risk of destroying the relationship, but that is their relationship, and you are not a part of that relationship and its not your responsibility to step into it.

I told my sister that her finace had hit on me before their wedding. She didn't speak to me for 4 years. She finally divorced that cheatin' dog after 5 kids and 25 years of misery. She denies now that I ever said anything to her. Whatever

I am the other guy! I had been seeing my best friends wife for a period of 6 months. We were all good close friends and his wife had always been the flirty type for as long as I have known them and never had anything inappropriate happened. It was after a couple years of just being friends and hanging out with him, his wife family and friends; when she and I started to develop feelings for each other. Then after a 5-6 month affair we stopped the affair, as we felt the pressure and knew if it kept up we would be caught.


We continued with or NORMAL friendship and all was fine. Except the feelings of guilt and shame that overwhelmed her and she told of all people her sister-in-law! Yes, her husbands brothers wife!! needless to say I have lost a great friend and respect for myself. I have also managed to cause an otherwise good mariage relationship to become disfunctional.


I am hoping that they can repair thier relationship! That brings me to my delima.... Should I tell my ex-best friend that his wife had also slept with his other best friend as well as I durring thie same time? This other best friend is still very much in his life daily and he conciders him trust worthy and honnorable.... his very best friend persay. Do I even have a right to say anything

1) I'm not a Buddhist and don't give a rip about what they say.


2) The partner who is being cheated on is unknowingly having their life and healthin danger by the cheating spouse. At the very least they need to get themselves tested and force the cheating spouse to use a condom.


3) I'm willing to lose a friend I love if I'm acting in their best interests.


None of these actions take place simply on suspicion. I would need to KNOW (and be able to back it up) that the spouse is cheating.


It isn't about gossip but about informing the victim of infidelity so that they can make the best choices for themselves (whether or not it includes forgiving the adulterer). The "one week" is to give the adulterer the chance to come clean and do the right thing (i.e., keep to his marriage vows).

I would definitely want to be informed if someone was cheating on me and I would definitely tell my friend(s) if I had proof or good knowledge that their partner was cheating on them. This board is full of people who have been betrayed by cheaters after years in a relationship, and it makes me wonder why on earth anyone would dump a friend who informed them early on that the partner was cheating... why would you want to waste years of your time with someone who is cheating and then dump your friend as well who was only trying to help?

Hi Indyman, I need to respond to you on this. One thing that some folks don't understand is that there is a "Dance Community", i.e. people who love to dance, who take lessons and classes, and go to dances and dance events. And among members of the Dance Community, it is absolutely proper for people to dance with partners of the opposite sex, regardless of whether or not they are married. In some cases, dancers have spouses who don't care to dance; in other cases, dancers are single. When out dancing, the etiquette is that everyone "dances around", i.e. with people other than their spouses. (One can even be considered "rude" or"standoffish" for refusing to dance with anyone other than their S.O.!)


Many's the time my girlfriends' husbands have offered me "duty dances", knowing that I don't have a dancing boyfriend. I always appreciate it, and know it's nothing more than a 5-minute dance! And nobody thinks it's cheating. Certainly there are ways to do it properly - just 'cause you're dancing with someone, doesn't mean you get to "grope" them or rub against them suggestively! But within the bounds of good dancing etiquette, it's perfectly OK and acceptable to dance with partners of the opposite sex. So, if your girlfriend is a dancer, and she dances with girlfriends and occasionally w. male partners, it's really nothing you should worry about. And you might want to consider taking a lesson or two and joining her on the dance floor!