Attractiveness: IS there a double standard?


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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #11  April 5,2010, 6:36pm

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I think there is a double standard and it comes from the women mostly. Yes! There are a few men that want what they do not merit (I know one - count that, I said one guy in real life - I know wants something so far out of his league) but there are only a few men out there.

The rest are tagged as superficial for just saying that want someone physically attractive to them. And women tag them as "superficial" because they know they look beyond the physical to determine attractiveness and they feel that is superior to how the men are determining attractiveness.

Sorry, I don't see it as a matter of someone being more superficial or not; I see it as men being men and women being women. There is no right or wrong; it is the same thing just different ways of getting there; one is not superior over the other.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #12  April 5,2010, 6:38pm

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hankscorpio wrote :
Agreed. I think it's up to each to find their own happiness and establish their own standards.

Honestly if a 300 lb guy can find a cute healthy girl who likes 300 lb guys and that guy only wants to date cute healthy girls then I can understand him letting her know if she's letting herself go. Yeah, it seems chauvinistic, but the girl accepted the guy as 300 lbs, and he accepted her as healthy.

Of course it's always within her power to DTMFA and move on to a guy who isn't obese.
See what I mean, Nanette? Someone fired me off a one for a post that's perfectly reasonable and logical.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #13  April 5,2010, 6:43pm
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hankscorpio wrote :
Agreed. I think it's up to each to find their own happiness and establish their own standards.

Honestly if a 300 lb guy can find a cute healthy girl who likes 300 lb guys and that guy only wants to date cute healthy girls then I can understand him letting her know if she's letting herself go. Yeah, it seems chauvinistic, but the girl accepted the guy as 300 lbs, and he accepted her as healthy.

Of course it's always within her power to DTMFA and move on to a guy who isn't obese.
No idea what DTMFA is, but yes, I do see your point.

BTW - why on earth was this one-starred? Reasonable opinion and clearly expressed I thought!
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #14  April 5,2010, 6:44pm
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To the OP:

When folks are discussing weight as a meter for attractiveness, folks should consider cultural differences in men.

I mean, I am a black/latina and was raised in a cultural environment with men that seem to overwhelmingly feel that curves are better on a woman... lots of curves!

In my culture(s), 'Rubenesque-woman' are placed on pedestals, while an athletic women like myself is passed over for more 'curvier', 'bustier', 'hippier' women.

I cannot generalize though, and recognize that not all men of color prefer "bigger" women, but in my experience I am physically not what men in my culture find attractive in regards to body mass and weight, as I have been told many times. The men of color I have met are always admonishing me to "eat more", and don't get my obsession with staying fit.

Therefore, your opinions may be more cultural than the norm(and dare I say socioeconomic...wealthier men seem to prefer thinner women in my observations...despite the ethnicity and culture) ...because anytime I wander in a stupor into a Wal-Mart...I see a sea of large woman...happy...with a man...with their men irking me because I am standing on line behind the happy couple while he is whispering sweet-nothings in her ear ...and here I stand....seemingly attractive, intelligent, and fit... with no man at all!

Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder...your tuna is always someone else's caviar! Please do not think that your POV is held or should be held by all men. Recognize that some men love the big gurls...some men like 'em thin as a rail...it is all about preferences and respecting others point of view.
Last edited by legend29; April 5,2010 at 6:48pm.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #15  April 5,2010, 6:44pm
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Why should someone *think* that they can get someone that is dramatically more attractive than they are? It's like telling someone that they are not allowed activity X, but you can do it in spades. It's called hypocrisy.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #16  April 5,2010, 6:45pm

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meri75 wrote :
No idea what DTMFA is, but yes, I do see your point.

BTW - why on earth was this one-starred? Reasonable opinion and clearly expressed I thought!
DTMFA = Dump The _____ _____ Already
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #17  April 5,2010, 6:47pm
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hankscorpio wrote :
See what I mean, Nanette? Someone fired me off a one for a post that's perfectly reasonable and logical.
I just gave you five lol. Its fun. I think I will give JayJay a one (kidding)
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #18  April 5,2010, 6:50pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Nanette wrote :
Why should someone *think* that they can get someone that is dramatically more attractive than they are? It's like telling someone that they are not allowed activity X, but you can do it in spades. It's called hypocrisy.
In this case there is no one 'allowing' or 'not allowing' people to do activities. It's a free market. People may or may not have unreasonable hopes.....but I don't in any way see that as being a hypocrite.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #19  April 5,2010, 6:50pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Nanette wrote :
I just gave you five lol. Its fun. I think I will give JayJay a one (kidding)
You better give the post after your last one the 1-star.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #20  April 5,2010, 6:53pm

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Nanette wrote :
I just gave you five lol. Its fun. I think I will give JayJay a one (kidding)


On this point:

wrote :
Why should someone *think* that they can get someone that is dramatically more attractive than they are? It's like telling someone that they are not allowed activity X, but you can do it in spades. It's called hypocrisy.
People can think they can get whatever they want, it doesn't mean they'll necessarily get it.

Just like there are fit guys that love big overweight women there are fit women that love big overweight men. Not enough to go around, maybe, but they do exist.

Yeah, it's hypocritical to hold someone to a standard that cannot be met by one's self, but relationships aren't about finding your reflection in a mirror, they're about finding someone you're crazy about and who is crazy about you.

So while I wouldn't tolerate some 300 pound goo ball bad mouthing overweight women like a jerk I wouldn't have anything to say about it if he just said he only likes fit girls and he's going to do his best to find one that will appreciate the qualities (whatever positive ones he may have) he brings into the relationship.
 
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