How good are you at small talk / conversation?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  April 5,2010, 2:40pm
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I saw this article which I thought might be interesting / useful for the group:

10 big rules of small talk - CNN.com

and that made me wonder - how good are you at small talk / conversation?

Is this a talent you've had to develop or were you blessed with the gift of gab?

If the former, how did you go about it?

Anyone got any sure-fire tips for making conversation?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  April 5,2010, 2:56pm
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LOL - so/so! I do most of things mentioned in the article; but I prefer another to take the lead if there are more than two people there. Unless it is someone I know well - but then I don't make small talk with people I know well!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  April 5,2010, 3:54pm
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I do well with small-talk and conversation, unless the other person is bound and determined to not work with me; then it's just an experiment in torture!

I think the key to small talk is the same as with any communication; you need to actually listen to what the other person is saying. If you aren't listening, it will be apparent, and it won't go over well. The same thing for appearing uninterested or distracted. There's nothing worse than making the effort to respond to someone's questions or making an effort to communicate, and then getting dead silence as a response; it doesn't make a person want to make the effort to communicate in the future.
 
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Calm2010 is offline Calm2010 Post #4  April 5,2010, 4:01pm
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I have to work at this. People don't seem to notice and often compliment me but it still is work. I am much better when I am the hostess then when I am the guest and don't know many people. Perfect strangers for some reason are a bit easier.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #5  April 5,2010, 5:30pm
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I'm terrible at small talk. I lose track of what's been said and drift off.

Quite frankly, I don't have much interest in chit-chat. I need a practical agenda to follow in order to maintain focus.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  April 6,2010, 12:37am
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I can chit chat all day.... I can even be the only one talking at times. Yeah, I know that can be very annoying. I try to stop myself and allow the other person to speak as well.

I sometimes joke that I have the gift of gab, no Blarney Stone required.
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #7  April 6,2010, 3:15am
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I WISH I had read this before my date on Sunday...god that was awkward! I don't normally make small talk but we had nothing in common...longest 2 hours ever and I was totally drawing blanks on what to talk about.

"So, how about that local sports team?".....
 
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BlueHeron is offline BlueHeron Post #8  April 6,2010, 9:06am
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I am glad I'm not alone. I dread small-talk situations. Unless we are talking about something that I know more about and that interests me, I often draw a blank, or drift off, and can't bring myself to say even two or three words.
In other words, I consider it hard work.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  April 6,2010, 10:22am
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If there's chemistry, there's no need for small talk.

If you can't carry on a conversation with someone, that's a big red flag.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  April 6,2010, 1:48pm
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I was going to say:

People like to talk about themselves? I like to talk about interesting things, not myself!

But then I thought that sounded kinda bad
 
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