Is there something wrong with me?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
RedPoet is offline RedPoet Post #1  April 5,2010, 2:07pm
RedPoet's Avatar

wonders what would happen if full contact origami was televised

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Calgary, AB, Canada

Posts: 74

See profile

Hey all

I've been a long time browser, and just lately decided to sign up to start posting.

I'm a 24 year old male and I've not had the best success with regards to relationships in my time. I've been in college for a number of years now (transferring to university soon), and the best I've gotten is 'friends' status. Which is fine, but my heart is yearning for something more. I'm not a hermit or anti-social, far from it. I have a wide variety of interests, I'm respectful, honest, open and I love to laugh. I'm told I have a great sense of humour. If I'm asked a question, I will answer it. I have no problems letting people know who I am. It's not like I throw it in their faces or anything: if they ask, I'll tell.

In spite of all these though, I just can't seem to find a woman out there for me. I've signed up for eHarmony back in November (as a means of finding other women that I wouldn't normally meet when I'm out and about or at college), and I've yet to meet anyone in person after 6 months. I'm not blaming eHarmony, because I see that it's worked for a lot of couples (and for those that continue to post here, I've seen and read their success stories), but I'm starting to wonder if it's me.

I'm not a player, I don't think it's right to toy with someone elses emotions like that. I'm very considerate of others and their comfort levels. I'm outgoing and social (like I mentioned), and I have no problems talking to strangers or having small talk with someone that I barely know.

Is there something wrong with me? Or am I doing something wrong? Would a picture of myself help at all?

Thanks again for any thoughts and opinions that are posted.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #2  April 5,2010, 2:12pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

I think it is your medium...you are in school still, yes?

Since you are in school, get involved in things that other girls from school will be involved in - join some groups, find some mutual interests, or local hang-outs and get to know a girl that way then ask one her out.

That is my advice.

Good luck and welcome!
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #3  April 5,2010, 6:02pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

They should probably move this to dating so you get some more responses.

(hint, hint! )
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  April 5,2010, 10:29pm
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,059

See profile

Well ... nothing in your post stands out as negative, so ... here are some possibilities; don't know if they apply to you or not:

- do you ever ask a woman out on a date?
- do you treat women you're interested in as friends or as potential romances?
- you say you tell people about yourself if asked ... do you ever volunteer information?
- do you participate in activities that single women will be at, that single people tend to see as places to meet? like clubs, volunteer activities, dances, that kind of thing?
- do you have a very specific view of who would be the right woman for you? Perhaps overly narrow?

Not sure! Talk some more ... maybe something will emerge ...
BTW welcome to posting!
 
  Reply With Quote
RedPoet is offline RedPoet Post #5  April 5,2010, 11:55pm
RedPoet's Avatar

wonders what would happen if full contact origami was televised

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Calgary, AB, Canada

Posts: 74

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :
They should probably move this to dating so you get some more responses.

(hint, hint! )
Sounds like a good idea. I wasn't sure if this sort of thing was in the right forum or not. So if a moderator is reading this, if you could move it to the right forum, that'd be great!

Sassafras54 wrote :
Well ... nothing in your post stands out as negative, so ... here are some possibilities; don't know if they apply to you or not:

- do you ever ask a woman out on a date?
- do you treat women you're interested in as friends or as potential romances?
- you say you tell people about yourself if asked ... do you ever volunteer information?
- do you participate in activities that single women will be at, that single people tend to see as places to meet? like clubs, volunteer activities, dances, that kind of thing?
- do you have a very specific view of who would be the right woman for you? Perhaps overly narrow?

Not sure! Talk some more ... maybe something will emerge ...
BTW welcome to posting!
Thanks for the welcome!

As for your points:

- Yes, I do.
- Women that are my friends I treat as friends, and if I have a romantic attraction to them, I am more romantic in my approach.
- I do volunteer information, definitely! The offered info was for the taboo topics that might get brought up (like past relationships etc.)
- I do volunteer at my local community center, but am currently not part of a club. Not exactly the greatest dancer either, so that prospect might be a tad intimidating if I went there by myself!
- I'm very open with the women I'm looking for. I don't have a restricted search/specific view.
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #6  April 6,2010, 9:48am
notyet's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 5,276

See profile

here is my take after having dabbled with EH for almost two years and observing posts here on Advice for over a year now: eHarmony seems to work very well for older people (read women out of school and men over 30) who are comfortably middle class but do not have a lot of time to look for people in a more conventional setting. or just cannot find what they are looking for in their area for one reason or another. it works less well for others.

i would guess that a 24 year old male college student would have a zero success rate in meeting women on the site. your experience confirms this.

my advice? cancel your account. get involved in activities you enjoy. and ask out every woman that catches your interest. enjoy yourself. and get to know as many people as possible. and don't be in a hurry you are 24. and still in school.

good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
RedPoet is offline RedPoet Post #7  April 6,2010, 2:04pm
RedPoet's Avatar

wonders what would happen if full contact origami was televised

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Calgary, AB, Canada

Posts: 74

See profile

That's definitely something to consider notyet, maybe my demograph of women might not be using eHarmony or there might be other reasons why I haven't had a response yet.

Though part of me is wondering if giving up on this site is the answer. I got some thinking to do, regardless.

Thanks again for the opinions thus far.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  April 7,2010, 9:20am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,059

See profile

Well why not do both EH and real-life ... gives you a bigger pool.

But don't disregard real-life while you're dabbling in EH -- college is a really fruitful place and time to find love!

I just don't see anything in your posting that says "here's what the problem is". Therefore! I think you just haven't gotten lucky yet -- and luck really is an element here, or there's something that's holding you back, and either you haven't mentioned it, or you're not aware of it.

One reason love feels so great is it doesn't happen all the time and sometimes you have to wait for it!
 
  Reply With Quote
TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #9  April 7,2010, 12:07pm
TXButtercup's Avatar

*facepalm*

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2010

Texas

Posts: 1,079

See profile

notyet wrote :
here is my take after having dabbled with EH for almost two years and observing posts here on Advice for over a year now: eHarmony seems to work very well for older people (read women out of school and men over 30) who are comfortably middle class but do not have a lot of time to look for people in a more conventional setting. or just cannot find what they are looking for in their area for one reason or another. it works less well for others.

i would guess that a 24 year old male college student would have a zero success rate in meeting women on the site. your experience confirms this.

my advice? cancel your account. get involved in activities you enjoy. and ask out every woman that catches your interest. enjoy yourself. and get to know as many people as possible. and don't be in a hurry you are 24. and still in school.

good luck!

Maybe he'd like to date some of those "older" womenz
 
  Reply With Quote
TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #10  April 7,2010, 12:12pm
TXButtercup's Avatar

*facepalm*

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2010

Texas

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Now for a serious answer for the OP:

I just re-read your original post. It is well done and from what you write, it sounds like you have your thoughts together.

You ask if a photo would help. Now this may be a silly question, but do you have a photo of yourself posted on your eHarmony profile?

How many women are you initiating contact with? (or is the issue that you aren't getting matches sent to you at all?)

Online dating sites are just additional ways to meet people, so as others have mentioned, getting involved is a great way to also meet people. Typically, college campuses offer many good opportunities to meet people, and you can find like minded individuals by joining groups that are connected to your passions/interests.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Sex and you... | About You | bitterness »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
My Eharmony story-what did I do wrong? shockedbythis10 Ask a Dating Expert 21 February 22,2010 5:48am
Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line? j0hn8andy About You 37 November 30,2009 9:07pm
I called him by the wrong name! Help! teacher22 Using eHarmony 20 November 27,2009 4:51am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“my husband died when our son was 30 months old. It still seems to be a central tenet of his relationship with the world. dragging past the cancer for the last 2 years and trying to reassure ... ” –  lada2

Join the “Has anyone lost their mother at a young age? How did it change your life?...or did it?” discussion

“What I hate is when i have said "It was nice to meet you." Then I have had the guy jump in and say "You too. I'd like to see you again." And then I am standing there looking for a way to tell him ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Saying what you mean...” discussion

“I've had the "wanna chat" message more than once.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “RED flags for women” discussion

“I thoroughly enjoy being an emotionally unhealthy and immature man!” –  Raw_Truth

Join the “Anyone ever try a professional matchmaker?” discussion

“i suspect he is not agonizing over it nearly as much as you are. i suffer from the stereotypical thinkking that guys are fine with separating feelings from yearnings Right up until they're not. ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “Question on casual dating?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:32pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0