bitterness

Why is it bitter for me to state a fact? Those are facts that happen to me. It's the same as me stating that I have brown hair and brown eyes and I am 5'8 tall.

The people I am talking about are the ones who are always NEGATIVE and HOSTILE. You can hear the bitterness in their posts. The people who never have anything positive to say, always taunt or insult other people. There are people who empathize and sympathize, then there are others who are just downright mean, and/or are negative about everything and rarely have anything constructive to say or relevant to offer in a thread. And then there are one the ones who put words into other people's mouths and twist things around to suit them.

... yeah, pretty much everyone has some horrible tales to tell about their life. Some have truly horrific stuff they deal with.

I think the key is they're the only things you see. The other day, I ran across a Friend in a thread I hadn't seen in quite some time. She's just been lurking.

Her post was very surprising to me. She attacked the OP. What was so surprising about it was that when she herself first came here, and created her own threads.....she was attacked (or at least it seemed that way to her). It's why she very seldom posts.

j8a

I haven't been posting on the boards very long, but I have been lurking here forever. One of the things I have noticed from some of the posters is that so many of their posts, newbies and vets alike, are so filled with bitterness and anger at the opposite sex.

I am going to be 38 at the end of the month. I've never been married, been engaged once. I've been ripped apart by some of the guys I have dated. Cheaters, abusers, wimps, selfish jerks. I have also dated some really truly, great guys. Yes, I am still single, mostly by choice at this point. But one thing I have never done is let all that beat me down to the point where I take it out on everyone, especially the opposite sex, and just give up. Believe me, there were days when I got hit with moments of hopelessness, but I never let it control my life. I picked myself up and moved on.

Life is too short to be so bitter. I try to look for the best in things, try to make positive outcomes out of negative situations. The one thing I have learned is that you can't count on someone else for your own happiness. You make your own, no one can do it for you.

So... you have had bad experiences with dating, with the opposite sex. People can feel that bitterness in you. It repels. It certainly doesn't attract. Confidence is certainly more attractive than someone constantly complaining or giving off that 'whoas me" vibe.

It makes me sad and disappointed to see how some of the posters here respond to others. You are doing the OP's and other posters a disservice, and yourself a disservice, by letting that venom, depression, bitterness, etc... bleed into your posts. You aren't helping. You could be hurting, though. And you are certainly being selfish. It's one thing to let experience guide you, it's another thing to drag company into your misery. Your misery may enjoy the company, but the people you are pulling down with you certainly don't.



Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which WE think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves. ~ Helen Keller

I know what post you are talking about, and i can say for certainty your "Friend" did not attack the OP of that thread. if that was the case it would have been reported and the post deleted.

I understand your point about people not being mean and whatnot but I don't think it's fair to exaggerate to make a point, either.

I don't know post you and j0hn8andy are referring to.....but there are certainly many posts with personal attacks and these are not deleted. I just finished reading one in which one person said something to the effect that the idea of being with another poster would make them sick. These kinds of posts are not routinely deleted (or are given '5 stars').

I don't know post you and j0hn8andy are referring to.....but there are certainly many posts with personal attacks and these are not deleted. I just finished reading one in which one person said something to the effect that the idea of being with another poster would make them sick. These kinds of posts are not routinely deleted (or are given '5 stars').

maybe, but the my point remains that that post was not an attack- if it was than I'm the devil.

disagreement is not an attack.

ETA: I know the post you are refering to, and I don't think that it's a personal attack either- the poster is refering to "someone your (member's) age" not the member himself.

JayJay, do you report these posts, even if they have been given "stars"? If you see any posts that you think are violating the guidelines and please report them. It is possible that they have not been seen by a mod or VCL.