Ok, I've Finally Met the Perfect Woman...only one problem


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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #1  March 26,2010, 4:16am
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She's intelligent, elegant, attractive, witty, understand, well-adjusted, loving and caring. She is everything I look for in a woman. Only one problem...she's my therapist.

I know that in the process of therapy you are supposed to develop some emotional attachment to your therapist, but I did not expect to start developing feelings for her. Thoughts anyone? I'm not going to ask her out, I think that would violate boundaries as well professional standards. But still.
 
 
tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  March 26,2010, 5:02am
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justme27 wrote :
She's intelligent, elegant, attractive, witty, understand, well-adjusted, loving and caring. She is everything I look for in a woman. Only one problem...she's my therapist.

I know that in the process of therapy you are supposed to develop some emotional attachment to your therapist, but I did not expect to start developing feelings for her. Thoughts anyone? I'm not going to ask her out, I think that would violate boundaries as well professional standards. But still.
It is what it is. I'm sure many have been in your situation, where they've developed feelings for their teachers, coaches, therapists, doctors, lawyers, etc. What's important is that you do understand not to cross that boundary. Other than that, I don't know if there's anything left to say on the matter.
 
 
justme27 is offline justme27 Post #3  March 26,2010, 5:07am
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Hey tbesq, I promise you I would never violate professional boundaries especially ones that are as critical as this.
 
 
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #4  March 26,2010, 5:54am

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you should probably tell her, since she is your therapist, and then maybe find another one.
 
 
justme27 is offline justme27 Post #5  March 26,2010, 6:21am
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scarlet13 wrote :
you should probably tell her, since she is your therapist, and then maybe find another one.
Nah Scarlet it's not a big deal. Actually, I have heard it is quite common and it's almost supposed to happen. I'm not in love with her or even enamored by her. It's just that if I met her at a bar, I would totally hit on her that's all.
 
 
neardc is offline neardc Post #6  March 26,2010, 6:46am
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This is so common in psychotherapy, justme, that there is even a name for it: transference. It involves transferring feelings for a significant person (or people) from the past onto the therapist; this is totally unconscious on your part. You may want to bring it up with her so the two of you can focus together on the underlying emotions/issues that precipitated it and use it to advance your progress. It's likely that your therapist may already be aware of your attraction to her.
 
 
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  March 26,2010, 7:07am

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justme27 wrote :
Nah Scarlet it's not a big deal. Actually, I have heard it is quite common and it's almost supposed to happen. I'm not in love with her or even enamored by her. It's just that if I met her at a bar, I would totally hit on her that's all.
liar liar pants on fire.

why did you even post it here if it wasn't an issue of some sorts?
 
 
cosmicwonder is offline cosmicwonder Post #8  March 26,2010, 7:22am
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I agree with Scarlet and neardc: tell her. She's your therapist, and she is most likely already aware of the attraction. Keep it simple and tell her soon.
 
 
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #9  March 26,2010, 7:29am

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besides, you only hit on someone in a bar if they are attractive- all this other stuff comes later.

wrote :
She's intelligent, elegant, attractive, witty, understand, well-adjusted, loving and caring
 
 
califloridan is offline califloridan Post #10  March 26,2010, 7:40am
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I've had the same thing happen to me.In the end it did interfer with my therapy becasue I wasn't being completely honest about my feeling, ideas, etc for fear of my therapist thinking badly of me. I would encourage you to be honest so that you can continue to be honest about your feelings on the reasons you are in therapy. If you start censoring your honesty now you will only hurt yourself and not get what you need out of the theraputic experiance. I had to get a new therapist. I chose a woman so I wouldn't fall prey again and have to start all over again in the future.
 
 
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