justme27 is offline justme27 Post #1  March 21,2010, 10:39am
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Well, my friend filed for divorce. We are young and he married even younger. He does not have children, so I see it more as a long term relationship that did not work out.

I knew it was a bad decision when he told me he was planning on getting married. However, really there is nothing I could or would say at the time to change his mind.

I'm kind of mixed in my feelings. I know he was not the best husband, I also know she was not the best wife. However, they are both good people but just not together. Also, in a selfish way I'm kind of happy he is getting divorced. Sorry for my selfishness but it's nice to have another single friend while so many of my friends are starting to get married.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #2  March 21,2010, 10:56am
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In a couple of places I worked, a single divorce could lead to a chain reaction of sorts. The first couple would get divorced and then it would propagate through the company and their friends in waves.

I'm sure there were good reasons, but it always made me sad...
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #3  March 21,2010, 11:04am
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It does make me sad, because I know them both and my family knows them both. However, it does not come as a surprise so maybe that is why I'm not deeply impacted. I have a friend who also married young. His wife hates my guts. However, they appear deeply in love. If they were to get a divorce then I would feel deeply saddened because if they can't make it work who can?

I don't expect my other friends to get divorces because many are just getting married, so I think they have a stronger foundation getting married later than sooner. I could be wrong though.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  March 21,2010, 1:15pm
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At least he'll now have the required divorce under his belt that seems to be required for online dating!
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #5  March 21,2010, 3:07pm
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mrflyer wrote :
At least he'll now have the required divorce under his belt that seems to be required for online dating!
Finally, the lighter side of you Mr Flyer!!!! lol! That made me laugh. Thanks for posting!!
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  March 21,2010, 5:50pm
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Having actually been divorced, I see it as a "Time and Season" thing.

There's a "Time and Season" for loving each other. It doesn't always result in Happily Ever After, Forever and Ever.....but that doesn't negate the love that was there.....when the "Time and Season" were right for it.

If there's enough love left over to result in a "friendly" divorce, where the two people aren't reduced to squabbling over assets and children.....that's about the best that can be achieved, and not to be taken lightly. It's a hard enough thing to accomplish.

One way you can help, JustMe, is to never speak against the wife to your friend.....or ever let him know you thought the marriage "doomed" from the start. I say that as a divorced person.

The reason I don't see a divorce as an Epic Fail as some do.....is that I went on to have a second successful marriage. That would not have been possible if I had not been divorced.

I see that Closed Door as opening onto a new Vista of Possibilities.

I don't think being younger or older when a marriage occurs assures an outcome, either good or bad. Both my sisters married their High School sweethearts. Both still married all these 40+/- years later.

mrflyer wrote :
At least he'll now have the required divorce under his belt that seems to be required for online dating!
Ha, Ha, Mr. Flyer! Some do see it that way, don't they?

j8a
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #7  March 21,2010, 6:16pm
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j0hn8andy wrote :
One way you can help, JustMe, is to never speak against the wife to your friend.....or ever let him know you thought the marriage "doomed" from the start. I say that as a divorced person.
Thanks, j8a you are perfectly correct!!! I would never ever speak ill of his ex nor would I tell him that I thought it was a bad idea in the first place. I value my friend with all my heart and I'm sure, because we are both men, he is not showing me the part that is hurting from this. It's really tough, not having been in the same shoes as he is in the first place. I did call him and tell him if ever wanted to talk about it, I was always here for him. However, that is all I can do.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  March 21,2010, 8:44pm
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The reason I said that, JustMe, about the wife.....is because after my own divorce one of my sisters made a disparaging comment about my ex-husband.

It hurt.....because I liked him, and wished him well, as he did me.

j8a
 
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