Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?

Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?

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Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  March 17,2010, 11:22am
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One of my best friends is married to a man 14 years older than she and they have a GREAT relationship! As a result of observing them I've definitely become more openminded with regard to who I'd be willing to meet for a date.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  March 17,2010, 11:32am

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Based on my experience with people at work and outside this board...my preference is that I would be with somebody within five years of my own age. The mind of people in the mid-late 20s (and those in the early 30s who hang out with them) seem to be on a different wavelength then mine. Maybe I'm old LOL.

I would not close out anybody outside that parameter though.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #3  March 17,2010, 11:48am
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has quickly adapted back to her lazy lifestyle

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How long have they been married? I remember reading some articles saying that more than 10-year age difference significantly increases the chance of divorce.

Almost every guy I know who married or dated a much younger woman ended up having her cheat on him or leave him for another man.
Last edited by EMTZ; March 17,2010 at 11:50am.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  March 17,2010, 12:00pm

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Was that a recent article, EMTZ? If you can find a link, that would be an interesting addition to the conversation. I’d be curious to learn more.

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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #5  March 17,2010, 12:11pm

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
One of my best friends is married to a man 14 years older than she and they have a GREAT relationship! As a result of observing them I've definitely become more openminded with regard to who I'd be willing to meet for a date.
I'd be open to women older than myself or younger than myself. I'd judge them the same either way (looks matter, maturity matters, responsibility matters), just keeping in mind the differences in what each may be looking for.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #6  March 17,2010, 12:13pm
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I've said this many times.

Age isn't really a factor. Its stage of life. There is the normal progression of the stage of life. Like most people are in college between 18 and 23. Most people are just starting their first career between 22 and 26, etc etc etc.

That being said, if someone is a late bloomer and finally gets to college at 30. They would be in the same stage of life as someone who is 19, but thats pretty much assuming the 30 year old did NOTHING between 19 and 30. They would have something in common. BUT, if that 30 year old has a lifetime of experience (military, odd jobs, parenting, etc) and finally college, the 19 year old and 30 year old are in totally different stages of life.

The only thing that really "matters" are men say, 35 and older who want children. Its unfortunately, but there is that biological age barrier there.
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #7  March 17,2010, 12:22pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :
Was that a recent article, EMTZ? If you can find a link, that would be an interesting addition to the conversation. I’d be curious to learn more.

~Kate
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I think I read it about a few months ago. I usually read all kinds of articles every day on at least CNN and FOX News websites. It is very likely I read it from one of them. I just tried to quickly google it again to try to find it but can't seem to find it now. Unfortunately at work I was just asked to get something done now, but when I get a chance later I will try to find it again.
 
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tequilamockingbird is offline tequilamockingbird Post #8  March 17,2010, 1:28pm
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I am basically going to be one giant medical downer here. If you're feeling all sunshine-y today, you might want to skip this post.

This article seems to have a lot more faith in the biomedical field than may be warranted. We're a lot better at treating illnesses, but we also have a lot more to treat (take a look at the rising levels of adult onset diabetes, for example). Our 'doubled' lifespan is mostly due to our ability to prevent infant mortality. Once infant mortality is removed from the averages, our projected lifespan is not much greater than it was 100 years ago, and that's with all of the medical advances since then that can keep us alive. The article's statement that people are taking better care of themselves is laughable, since we may be some of the least physically active humans in history, and the food that we overconsume tends to be calorie dense and loaded with ingredients that are terrible for us. Yes, some people are very health-conscious, but they are greatly outnumbered. Even with every treatment out there to draw on, the CDC estimates that future generations will have significantly shorter lifespans than our own (mostly due to lifestyle-related illness).

I found it weird that this article considered 40+ year-old-women the exception to the whole 'age doesn't matter' line, citing 'inability to start a family' as the reason. We have made tremendous medical advancements in this area, and it often isn't even needed. Many of my friends' mothers were in their early forties when they started having children (my own mother was 36), and had no trouble whatsoever. Yes, menopause could strike at any time, but that can even be true for women in their 20's (not common, but it happens), and a lot of women make it to their mid-fifties before it hits. We do not come with an expiration date.

Furthermore, on this note, this article was weirdly silent about the problems that can come with an older man trying to conceive. It tends to become less certain as men get older, and sterility is not uncommon. Studies have also noticed a correlation between the likelihood of a child being born with autism and the age of the father (note: correlation does not mean causation, and the exact connection between the two is unknown), much like the rates of Down Syndrome for older mothers. Point being: the guy's goods age, too.

As far as age differences in dating, it depends on the people involved. You can find mature AND immature people at all ages, so there's bound to be some overlap. That being said, I think it's problematic to take the attitude that age is entirely a number. It isn't. That's what we tell pedophiles, and I'm stickin' to it even once everyone involved is legal. Some people are able to bridge the gap between significant age differences, and that can result in a healthy relationship. However, there are also plenty of people who deny that the gap is there, and they are likely to fall in (or, er, abruptly find out that when they've lived 40+ years they actually aren't 25 anymore).
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  March 17,2010, 3:01pm
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EMTZ wrote :
How long have they been married? I remember reading some articles saying that more than 10-year age difference significantly increases the chance of divorce.

Almost every guy I know who married or dated a much younger woman ended up having her cheat on him or leave him for another man.

They celebrate their 10 year anniversary this year (I was a bridesmaid in their wedding).
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #10  March 17,2010, 4:19pm
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I think, between the ages of ~25 (once higher level education is completed and the job market is 'officially' joined) and ~65 (retirement) ...we are all basically in the same 'stage' of life and age differences do not matter that much.

Of course, while it's not such a big deal during those years, there will be a ceiling on the top end that will be a formidable hurdle to overcome (and most won't).

So, yes, it's not impossible to have relationships with significant age differences (I'm sure we all know one or two ...my 43 yr old brother's girlfriend is 20) and those relationships can be 'successful' for a significant period of time (10, 20, maybe even 30 years), but the true test of those will come later.
 
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