Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?

Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?

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Age Differences - Does it Really Matter Anymore?


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boomer_gal is offline boomer_gal Post #351  May 14,2011, 10:34pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
lol @ szgorzelski.

I'm 32 and eH occasionally sends me 24 year-old matches (defaults). I've got to change that. I can't possibly see that working long-term--what would we have in common?
This is a refreshing thing to read. When I look at the age preferences of guys that I am matched to over at match, it is not at all uncommon to see men looking for women ten, twenty, or more years their junior.
 
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Camelthe5th is offline Camelthe5th Post #352  July 4,2011, 7:06pm
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EMTZ wrote :
How long have they been married? I remember reading some articles saying that more than 10-year age difference significantly increases the chance of divorce.

Almost every guy I know who married or dated a much younger woman ended up having her cheat on him or leave him for another man.

There are opinions as many as there are people.
Just because it is in a report, article, medical journal, or if it is the
actual experiences of many people; does not mean that it will affect you the same.
Each of us is flesh and blood, and more importantly, each of us has a unique soul, which does not age, and will never die.
The soul is made up of 3 spiritual entities:
The mind, the will, and the emotions.
Our body, however, does age, and will eventually die.
The body and the soul affect each other.
It is my opinion that if the soul of one woman connects with the soul of
one man on the 3 dimensions of the mind, will, and emotions; age will be
a minor thing.
If the relation starts on the body level, then it is natural that the
connection has to happen over material things, and most likely would
be about common activities, which spell out age group.
A cheater is a cheater in the heart, regardless who he/she marries.
Divorce has nothing to do with how many years is between the couple.
It has to do a lot about the mutual commitment of the couple to their
marriage.
Marriage is a partnership, where each gives gains to the other.
It is a mutual gifting process, that results in the success of their
collective life project that we call marriage.
It is not selfish, but selfless.
I think that many people that date, say that they fall in love, and then
marry are not really ready for a marriage commitment.
Not about age, but rather about commitment.
Hope that my thoughts would help someone.
No, they are not scientific, and I have not seen them in any journal.
Accept them at your own risk.
We are adults because we can handle information, ask questions, find
answers, and make choices.
 
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tink333 is offline tink333 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #353  July 5,2011, 9:38pm
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I have always viewed age as just a number but never really thought seriously about dating anyone younger than myself. My first marriage was to a guy 3 years older than me, and it ended in divorce after 7 years of marriage. My second marriage was to a man 20 years older than me and ended when he died 12.5 years into our marriage. My current (and hopefully last) marriage is to a man 10 years my junior and we are 1.5 years into our marriage.
Dating and marrying someone 10 years younger surprised me. I guess I never considered it because I assumed there would be a maturity mismatch, but in this case, there is not. I took a lot of heat about being a cougar, though. I had to explain that a cougar makes a habit out of preying on younger men.

I agree with people who have said age is a factor if one is looking to start a family, but even then there is some wiggle room. I was worried that my current husband would want to have children, and my daughter was 21 when we met. I was done with diapers. Luckily, he was not interested in having children - apparently never was.

I think it's more about how one connects emotionally and spiritually with a person, and I also agree with the person who said it has a lot to do with the stage of life one is in. As long as both people are on the same page, age is just a number.
Last edited by tink333; July 5,2011 at 9:47pm.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #354  July 6,2011, 11:46am
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It matters to me--rarely to I meet someone who is considerably older or younger than me who I could seriously consider being in a relationship with.

Considerably Younger--while the attraction may be there, the maturity level often isn't. I also often find from my own personal experiences that men who are much younger than me tend to be more possessive and clingy than men my own age. They seem very into the whole "completing me" concept of a relationship, and I don't see a relationship that way. I don't like feeling suffocated. I see a relationship as a partnership where we complement one another.

Considerably Older--The attraction often isn't there for me, and it really kind of creeps me out to be dating someone my step-father's age. I also find that men who are considerably older than me tend to want to "father" me, and that drives me absolutely crazy (and not in a good way). They are more interested in telling me what to do and how to do it, and it's their way or no way (at least this is what I have experienced). That mentality upsets me. Again, I believe a relationship should be a partnership.

I know the age difference thing works for some people, and I'm always happy to see that. My mother and father had a 12 year age difference (he's older) and their marriage did not last. My mother and step-father have a 10 year age difference (he's younger). They've been married 25 years and they're still going strong. It just doesn't work for me.
 
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Neecy1964 is offline Neecy1964 Post #355  July 6,2011, 5:32pm
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I dated a man that was 13 years younger than me but when he said ,"I wish I would have met you 10 years ago" I hit the road. I look good for my age but don't remind me that I am older.
 
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niqht is offline niqht Post #356  July 6,2011, 6:00pm
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Neecy1964 wrote :
I dated a man that was 13 years younger than me but when he said ,"I wish I would have met you 10 years ago" I hit the road. I look good for my age but don't remind me that I am older.
.... You sure you didn't take that wrong?
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #357  July 7,2011, 9:05am
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niqht wrote :
.... You sure you didn't take that wrong?
That was my initial response, as well. I would have interpreted his statement to mean that he wishes he had spent the last 10 years with her, not that he wishes she were currently 10 years younger. Perhaps there was more to the context that lead her to the latter interpretation, but otherwise it sounds like she may have been influenced by her own insecurity about the age difference.
 
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Cali42 is offline Cali42 Post #358  July 13,2011, 2:32pm
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I dated a man 13yrs older than me. Me 42 & he was 55. He was in good shape for his age and liked to be as active as I like to be. The only thing was he always thinking men were hitting on me everywhere I went and that caused a problem. He was even jealous of past relationships with men I no longer communicate with. His insecurity got to him. About 10yrs older than me is about as high as I typically go and maybe only a couple yrs younger.... It is hard for me to get over the he is yonger than me thing.
 
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ilove_tstorms is offline ilove_tstorms Post #359  July 14,2011, 8:30pm
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Yes it does mainly with maturity level and where someone is in their life. I have concluded for my self no one older than 10yrs other wise I look for people around my age or no more than 2yrs younger. Usually try to find people between my age to 5yrs years older than me.
 
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Americanwoman54 is offline Americanwoman54 Post #360  July 18,2011, 3:07pm
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tink333 wrote :
I have always viewed age as just a number but never really thought seriously about dating anyone younger than myself. My first marriage was to a guy 3 years older than me, and it ended in divorce after 7 years of marriage. My second marriage was to a man 20 years older than me and ended when he died 12.5 years into our marriage. My current (and hopefully last) marriage is to a man 10 years my junior and we are 1.5 years into our marriage.
Dating and marrying someone 10 years younger surprised me. I guess I never considered it because I assumed there would be a maturity mismatch, but in this case, there is not. I took a lot of heat about being a cougar, though. I had to explain that a cougar makes a habit out of preying on younger men.
...
I think it's more about how one connects emotionally and spiritually with a person, and I also agree with the person who said it has a lot to do with the stage of life one is in. As long as both people are on the same page, age is just a number.
First off, congrats on your happy marriage.

Second, I agree totally with your last paragraph. But I want to add that I think "attitude" is important as well. Teaching has kept me young in that dept, period. And that is partly why I do only date younger men (but I am NOT a cougar and hate that word that those Canadians put into our language as I just always preferred them; in fact my ex was 5 years younger than me in the 70's); the other parts are that we do tend to be connected emotionally (they are usually old souls in a younger body) and spiritually, so I think your are right in your observation.

But besides this, why I really am writing is that I had to tell you that when eHar first came on the scene, they oftered an age range of going only five years younger for women's choices, and felt they knew that was best. I was 50, I think, and after all my matches were 50-70 (which meant to me that the MEN could have younger, but not the women!) . BUT now I see that has changed, thank goodness as my matches were within my age preference for the most part, but I deleted my subscription for now as I am just not ready to "get back in the pool" yet. BUT good for them and going into the 21st century!

PS. My last man was 19 years younger; the one before him 20 years, and we planned on marriage, but we had to break up due to KOSOVO (a LONGGGGG story ).
Last edited by Americanwoman54; July 19,2011 at 10:10am. Reason: I think I remember how EHAr use to do the age match thing!
 
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