Curious, share your thoughts, she, mid 40's two adult sons, young one at yet, under ten, married once, 15yrs, divorced plus 10 yrs, he, 4 adult children, married for 30 years divorce ten years, 65yrs, both healthy..can it work?
ok i am 62 i would be happy with someone my age most women my age are devoted to their family they are already secure money wise if they have lost their partner . or they are seeking younger men . yes ok i am wineing . i lost my wife of 42 years to cancer i never thought i would have seek another woman i guess skills at socializing are alittle rusty . the women i have talked to seem interested but dont want to take a step forward . is it my age or what .
If I meet a woman and she's immature I'm not going to be interested and what her age is at that point is irrelevant. She could be 23 and very mature = works great or she could be 40 and a petulant child so then she's out anyway. In general, the younger they are especially down in the early twenties the more immature they are going to be. But that is a generality and I'm not going to cut out the exceptions just to meet some preconceived rule.
The love of my life was 14 years older than me. The age difference never bothered me one little bit, but it bothered him a lot. In fact, it's a primary (not only) reason he is not with me today. When he left he said things like he "won't let me make a mistake" by being with someone as old as him. That pizzed me off on several levels.
I had a long-time guy friend (8 years), 12 years older than me, who one day last year asked me to be his girlfriend... and this is a guy who over analyzes everything and takes forever to make a decision, so this was a very significant turn of events. I said yes, I would like that. He made a big deal about asking my kids' permission, etc. The very next day he tells me he's too old, too set in his ways, for a relationship with me.
So I, personally, am very soured on considering relationships with a guy who is more than a few years older than me.
That said, my best friend has been living with her boyfriend for 5 years now. They are the happiest couple I know, by far. There is a 22 year age difference between them (she is 34, he is 56.) I know it is possible to have a successful, long-term relationship with a big age difference.
Curious, share your thoughts, she, mid 40's two adult sons, young one at yet, under ten, married once, 15yrs, divorced plus 10 yrs, he, 4 adult children, married for 30 years divorce ten years, 65yrs, both healthy..can it work?
Sure it can work. My friends (see post above) with the 22 year age difference.... They're both divorced (she was married 10+ years, he was married 25+ years). He has 3 adult children and a granddaughter. She has a teenager and a Kindergartener. He adores her kids, and the feeling is mutual. His kids won't talk to her, but they live out of state and it has more to do with the circumstances of his divorce than about her in particular.
There are obstacles in any relationship, but the age difference doesn't have to be an issue unless they make it one.
ok i am 62 i would be happy with someone my age most women my age are devoted to their family they are already secure money wise if they have lost their partner . or they are seeking younger men . yes ok i am wineing . i lost my wife of 42 years to cancer i never thought i would have seek another woman i guess skills at socializing are alittle rusty . the women i have talked to seem interested but dont want to take a step forward . is it my age or what .
I would think at your age, being a male would be a plus as the balance of numbers of women vs. men is in your favor. Not every 60-ish woman is going to be looking for marriage, however. Sometimes remarriage will adversely affect certain financial benefits. I wouldn't think that many would be actively seeking younger men. A lot of it will depend on what you are looking for in a woman.... if you want someone to 'take care of you' that will be less appealing than if you're looking for companionship and are willing to be active enough to take her out (and if you dance, that will be a big plus!)
Given the numbers for your age and how long you were married, I'm going to guess that you have not been a widower for very long. Perhaps some of the women sense that you are emotionally not ready to form a new relationship yet? I believe there is a group on here for widows and widowers.... perhaps they can give you some better insight than I can.
Nothing has changed. This is how it has always been. Certain men fixated sexually on young women and young women thinking they are special if an'older man' likes them. Men should date women their own age, they make such fools of themselves going out with young women who are emotionally and psychologically inferior to them. Reveals how weak and pathetic they really are. Of course the relationships work, its a mutual twisted fit. But if it works so be it. Still totally pathetic.
This article is ignorant. Women have, for over two thousand years, been being sold off to old men. Often times, prior to menstrual. This continues to this day and men continue to gain sexual pleasure and turn on from women they are old enough to have parented. Really perverse.
And yes, it is no different for women. Still the same twisted psychological and sexual insecurities and perversions at work.
It is all about power and control and that is what gets these people off, whether they are the young one sexing a surrogate parent, or a surrogate parent sexing a young one.
Nothing has changed. This is how it has always been. Certain men fixated sexually on young women and young women thinking they are special if an'older man' likes them. Men should date women their own age, they make such fools of themselves going out with young women who are emotionally and psychologically inferior to them. Reveals how weak and pathetic they really are. Of course the relationships work, its a mutual twisted fit. But if it works so be it. Still totally pathetic.
This article is ignorant. Women have, for over two thousand years, been being sold off to old men. Often times, prior to menstrual. This continues to this day and men continue to gain sexual pleasure and turn on from women they are old enough to have parented. Really perverse.
And yes, it is no different for women. Still the same twisted psychological and sexual insecurities and perversions at work.
It is all about power and control and that is what gets these people off, whether they are the young one sexing a surrogate parent, or a surrogate parent sexing a young one.
When I was in my 20s, I gravitated toward older men because of their maturity. But once I hit my 40s, and looking for a long-term relationship, I started to think more down the road in terms of health issues and life span. So my preference became someone within 5-6 years of my own age, though that wasn`t entirely set in stone. The guy I`m seeing is 4 years older than I am, which is just about perfect in my mind
This describes my experience and thinking pretty well. The longest relationship I was in was with someone 20 years older than me. I don't really think the age had anything to do with why it didn't end up working out, at least not on any kind of conscious level.
And in the past, I had no desire to date younger men at all - primarily for reasons around maturity and inability to commit.
Now I feel more moderate on both accounts. While I have not limited my range in any online settings and I am open to any person that is a fit for a committed relationship, I think my preference would be for someone within 5-6 years of my own age in either direction.
Nothing has changed. This is how it has always been. Certain men fixated sexually on young women and young women thinking they are special if an'older man' likes them. Men should date women their own age, they make such fools of themselves going out with young women who are emotionally and psychologically inferior to them. Reveals how weak and pathetic they really are. Of course the relationships work, its a mutual twisted fit. But if it works so be it. Still totally pathetic.
This article is ignorant. Women have, for over two thousand years, been being sold off to old men. Often times, prior to menstrual. This continues to this day and men continue to gain sexual pleasure and turn on from women they are old enough to have parented. Really perverse.
And yes, it is no different for women. Still the same twisted psychological and sexual insecurities and perversions at work.
It is all about power and control and that is what gets these people off, whether they are the young one sexing a surrogate parent, or a surrogate parent sexing a young one.
my husband died when our son was 30 months old.
It still seems to be a central tenet of his relationship with the world.
dragging past the cancer for the last 2 years and trying to reassure ... –
lada2
What I hate is when i have said "It was nice to meet you." Then I have had the guy jump in and say "You too. I'd like to see you again."
And then I am standing there looking for a way to tell him ... –
legend29
i suspect he is not agonizing over it nearly as much as you are.
i suffer from the stereotypical thinkking that guys are fine with separating feelings from yearnings
Right up until they're not.
... –
D_Lion
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