mylifesabeach is offline mylifesabeach Post #1  March 16,2010, 5:55pm
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is happy.

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I seem to attract one narcissist after another even though I have read that they only make up like 2% of the population. It appears that I am VERY attracted to them and they seem to seek me out. I am pretty sure that I had a parent that was like this but, I am aware of it and try to be diligent. It also probly has something ot do with my age as at 47 lots of people out here are either people like me that are relatively emotionally healthy but were married to people with personality disorders or something and people that actualy have personality disorders. I seem to be finding all of the later! Does anyone else have this problem?
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #2  March 16,2010, 7:50pm
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There I put up a darn avatar is everyone happy! T.S. Eliot very pretentious

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No, I haven't had this problem but I'm male and I believe female narcissists are very, very rare. However, a book I recommend you read is the Narcissist Borderline Couple

ISBN: 9780415934718

I'm not trying to diagnose you, in fact I know nothing about you. However, narcissists do in fact seek out borderline women so this book may give you some insight as to whether you may be attracting these men for some reason. It may help determine whether you might want to go down the path of therapy before dating again.
 
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doo21_leroux is offline doo21_leroux Post #3  March 17,2010, 5:36am
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I dated a HUGE narcissist. Thought he was God's gift to women and took advantage of me in everyway he could. The worst was when he belittled me infront of his young daughter. I myself am on meds for anxiety and am prone to be a very motherly nurturing partner....so yeah....
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #4  March 17,2010, 2:36pm
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My Life as a Beach

There is a group on here "What makes us tick?" (featured on the side bar by the way) that may be a good place to post this question and get some responses.

Best of luck
Last edited by yoga_gal; March 17,2010 at 2:47pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  March 17,2010, 3:27pm
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Hi. I find you very attractive! Wanna go out?
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  March 17,2010, 4:08pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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Um ...hate to break the news to you, but 99% of the population is 'narcissistic' by nature ...and, by that, I mean that most of us are socially engineered to think of our own wants and desires first and foremost above all others.

We give that advice often around here ..."be true to yourself first, make sure you are getting what YOU want out of a relationship" ...etc.

If you are in a relationship with someone and they never consider what you want and desire? ...that's not narcissism, necessarily, that's simply them not caring about you.

99% of the time, "narcissism" is simply the latest 'buzzword' to define one plain and simple truth ...we live in a selfish society.
 
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superbeetle is offline superbeetle Post #7  March 17,2010, 4:16pm
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Eh, Biker, I'd have to disagree. My grandmother is a narcissist. She may not meet the clinical definition for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (the 2% of the population referred to above), but she makes life an utter misery for anyone around her.

By narcissist, I don't mean she thinks of herself first. It's that she can't think of anyone else at all, ever. Everything that everyone else does must be an homage to her taste. You must not have more money or refuse to give what you do have to her. You must wear the same brands of clothes, cook with the same recipes, and agree with everything she ever says. Any display of independent thought is a direct threat to her. You exist to benefit a narcissist, so they can live off you, brag about you, and get adoration from you.
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #8  March 17,2010, 5:27pm
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I've heard if you place a mirror at the bottom of a pool of water you can really thin down the heard. Sorry I couldn't help myself.

I would never make it as the poster child of "normal" but am proud to say I am crazy, but in the good way And for the longest time I could swear I was giving out the weird vibe and attracting all types of people that I didn't care to have in my life. One good friend can make all the difference and she said to me..." A good person is like a candle in the dark and you can't help who you attract." Well that really put things in perspective and my own experience has taught me that when you are really focused on your life's path those type of people tend to fade away in the background as you move forward to a more fulfilling future both spiritually, financially and emotionally. Keep focused and stick it out for now and I am sure you won't be disappointed.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #9  March 17,2010, 6:04pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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superbeetle wrote :
Eh, Biker, I'd have to disagree. My grandmother is a narcissist. She may not meet the clinical definition for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (the 2% of the population referred to above), but she makes life an utter misery for anyone around her.
If she doesn't 'meet' the clinical definition for Narcissistic Personality Disorder ...then she's not a Narcissist, just severely self-centered.

Kind of failing to see what you disagree with me on ...that 99% of the population doesn't have 'narcissistic' tendencies? I'm not saying Narcissists (the supposed 2% of the population that meets the clinical definition) don't exist, I'm just saying that the term is being thrown around far too often these days to simply describe the fact that we - as a society - are all selfish and self-centered by nature.

More often than not, I've seen the term used to 'justify' someone's bad behavior towards a partner ..."my ex was a narcissist because s/he treated me like trash". Now, while it may very well be that the ex was, in fact, a clinical Narcissist ...with a supposed 2% chance, it is far more likely that they simply didn't care enough about you (generic 'you') to treat you any other way.

Just sayin' ...see a situation for what it is. I'm guessing it's hard for people to do this, however, because we are mostly selfish and it's far easier to blame someone else with a personality disorder than to admit that they simply had no feelings for you (again, generic 'you') because this would beg the question, "why?".
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #10  March 17,2010, 8:42pm
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PR_Princess wrote :
I've heard if you place a mirror at the bottom of a pool of water you can really thin down the heard.
You don`t need a mirror. Any semi-reflective surface will do
 
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