j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #11  March 14,2010, 8:07pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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Been married twice. 18 years and 15 years. Neither husband cheated on me.....nor did I ever cheat. Not that that is proof of anything other than.....Character counts.

I love Wootz. All the women do.

j8a
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #12  March 14,2010, 8:16pm
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*facepalm*

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j0hn8andy wrote :
I love Wootz. All the women do.
Yes, of course we do, and this thread once again illustrates part of the reason.

However, this thread is also making me feel even more fond of frogs, too
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #13  March 14,2010, 8:31pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Both men and women have biological incentives to cheat. One problem is that while doing these things can be advantageous biologically....they can be devastating to our personal lives. People also have incentives to steal and even kill those who stand in our way. Hopefully we're able to overcome these base types of behaviors.
 
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tequilamockingbird is offline tequilamockingbird Post #14  March 15,2010, 1:43pm
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There have been some interesting studies on "monogamous" birds that imply that a lot of cheating does happen secretly (discovered by paternity tests on the offspring). Some people theorize that this happens because the male birds with the most desirable genetics usually do not make the best parents, so 'cheating' allows the female birds to have very strong, healthy offspring that will also be well taken care of, providing the greatest genetic advantage.

That being said, these kinds of studies are in no way an excuse for cheating behavior. We are more than our genetics, and so are our choices. Interestingly enough, birds face consequences for cheating, too. When a monogamous bird catches its mate cheating, it almost always leaves the 'relationship,' and tries to start over. Cheating is not just a deal-breaker for humans, it's a deal-breaker even in animals that mate for life.


There's a ton of information about this in this book, as well as floating around on the internet:

D. Barash and J. Lipton, The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People (New York: Owl Books 2002).
Last edited by tequilamockingbird; March 15,2010 at 2:25pm. Reason: weird grammar adjustment
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #15  March 15,2010, 2:10pm
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A time came when it was more painful to remain tight in a bud than the risk to break open & blossom

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It does my heart good to read some of the responses from the men here!!!!

Yeah!!
 
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bretagne89 is offline bretagne89 Post #16  March 15,2010, 2:38pm
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TXButtercup wrote :
Yes, of course we do, and this thread once again illustrates part of the reason.

However, this thread is also making me feel even more fond of frogs, too
And now we wonder why Wootz is single... *ponders*
 
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BlueHeron is offline BlueHeron Post #17  March 15,2010, 4:26pm
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Newbie40something, I couldn't agree more with you saying "It does my heart good to read some of the responses from the men here!!!!"
I guess I had to be reminded that most men, just like most women, wish for a monogamous relationship.
Thank you!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #18  March 15,2010, 4:51pm
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BlueHeron wrote :
Just for the record, of course women cheat too. But I don't think they primarily do so to become pregnant.

That they do is implicit in the premise of your OP.

If you impute a natural motivation to infidelity, that would, indeed, be the reason.

Reproduction is the motivation underlying all inherited traits.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #19  March 15,2010, 5:00pm
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When one makes a commitment to remain monogamous, I believe they have a responsibility to live up to that commitment. Opportunities abound for wo/men to cheat and one must remain vigilant to avoid putting oneself in compromising situations. It is a conscious choice that you make.

What I see too often though is that women (although some men too) mistake monogamy for meaning a person is committing to never feel attracted to another person, and this is of course not reasonable. We can't control how we feel, just how we act as a result of those feelings. Fortunately for me, my wife is not like this. She boils male/female relationships down to a couple of fundamental principles:

1) All men are pigs!

2) It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home to eat.

Gotta' love her...
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #20  March 15,2010, 8:37pm
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bretagne89 wrote :
And now we wonder why Wootz is single... *ponders*
Oh, several reasons. In the physical presence of a woman I find attractive, my i.q. drops like somebody gave it a Vulcan neck pinch. My vocabulary then devolves to the level of grunts, growls, and purrs. *grin* Kind of hard to attract the kind of smart, fun woman I like that way...

I'm also taking a break from dating, so I am far more reckless in how I speak. I am generally quite shy. This odd combination can be off-putting, I suppose.

I should also mention the ugly as sin bit. I know that appearance is less of a concern to the female species, but it *is* rather harder to attract a mate when one looks rather odd and acts *much* odder. *grin*

Good thing I can suppress my raffish, polyandrous biology and remain true to my principles, though. *grin* I wouldn't like being me very much if I was sleeping around, or having a long string of superficial relationships marked by cavalier indifference to the desires of whomever I caught up. I'm at a point in my life where I want what others might call boring. I want a comfortable reliability as well as interest, attraction, a sense humor, and a willingness to work together, and...

Perhaps I am aiming a bit high when I'm out on the prowl. Then again, perhaps not... *grin*
 
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