Do women settle on their standards?


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #11  March 5,2010, 5:07pm
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DivorcedDad wrote :
As far as "settling", what does everyone think about the Lori Gottlieb articles and book?

If this is well-enough known not to need an explanation, that's the answer, isn't it?
 
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cleanslate is offline cleanslate Post #12  March 5,2010, 5:21pm
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I think that there are several variables that factor into this. 1. As people grow older, they get to know themselves better, and therefore have a better understanding of what will and will not work for them long term. 2. As people grow older, they grow more tolerant of other people's "quirks" and may have fewer deal breakers than when they were younger. And 3. As people grow older, they start to realize that their options are more limited than they once were and therefore Lori Gottlieb is probably onto something...
 
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storyteller123 is offline storyteller123 Post #13  March 5,2010, 6:08pm
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Actually, years of experience have raised my standards because I did settle (or had lower standards), twice, once in marriage and then in a relationship. And my standards have nothing to do with appearance and wealth. That's not a standard -- that's vanity.

So I have higher, but reasonable, expectations and I'm willing to be alone than with someone who doesn't meet them.
 
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MQRegan is offline MQRegan Post #14  March 5,2010, 8:03pm
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Maybe I should reword. Not talking about morals and standards in living and life. Talking about physical appearance, material ownership (home, car, etc). That stuff.

Example. You could be dating for weeks have a great time a little making out and stuff. Fit in and have the same ideals, morals, likes, dislikes, POVs, etc. Then, out of no where BAMB. You get a statement like I posted above. Or, you are on a first date, everything is messing right, hours upon hours laughing and having a good time. You let him continue to buy drinks for you AND take you home. Even kiss him good night. He contacts you the next day, you do not answer the phone. He emails you through eharmo and you reply back as I really had a good time but don't think we are right for each other. If you do not think you are right for each other, why continue to let him buy you drinks and take you home? No one thinks that is a little misleading and wrong? This is from a 36 year old mind you.
Last edited by MQRegan; March 5,2010 at 8:10pm.
 
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storyteller123 is offline storyteller123 Post #15  March 6,2010, 3:56am
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apologies for an empty post here. Posted a response then chose to delete -- system won't let me so I'm just typing some nonsense.
Last edited by storyteller123; March 6,2010 at 4:09am.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #16  March 6,2010, 9:00am
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MQRegan wrote :
For the girl that I dated last year who told me "I really have a great time with you but do not feel that explosion every time I see you, so lets just be friends. Don't be a stranger either!" (Word for word verbatim). I directed her to the husband store. Apparently, she STILL did not find what she was looking for.
there isn't any realistic way that you can fault anyone for this perspective. obviously that rates higher for her. i'm not for accepting whatever is in front of you just because it'll do.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #17  March 6,2010, 9:02am
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DivorcedDad wrote :
As far as "settling", what does everyone think about the Lori Gottlieb articles and book?
Who?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #18  March 6,2010, 9:04am
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D_Lion wrote :
You rang?
If I had the ability to create a man he'd be close to what (I think) you are, but without the leveraged sex thing.
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #19  March 6,2010, 9:42am
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MQRegan wrote :
Maybe I should reword. Not talking about morals and standards in living and life. Talking about physical appearance, material ownership (home, car, etc). That stuff.

Example. You could be dating for weeks have a great time a little making out and stuff. Fit in and have the same ideals, morals, likes, dislikes, POVs, etc. Then, out of no where BAMB. You get a statement like I posted above. Or, you are on a first date, everything is messing right, hours upon hours laughing and having a good time. You let him continue to buy drinks for you AND take you home. Even kiss him good night. He contacts you the next day, you do not answer the phone. He emails you through eharmo and you reply back as I really had a good time but don't think we are right for each other. If you do not think you are right for each other, why continue to let him buy you drinks and take you home? No one thinks that is a little misleading and wrong? This is from a 36 year old mind you.



It boils down to the famous saying: "She's just not in to you... "

Don't worry; it is always better to find out sooner than later.
 
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