beatlejuice72 is offline beatlejuice72 Post #1  March 4,2010, 6:25pm

I'm a man's man, but I like women a whole lot more!

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After a pretty heartbreaking experience a couple of months agowith a woman, I decided to take a break from dating. Initially, I tried to connect with other women and thought about asking them out on dates. But to be truly honest with them, my heart wasn't in it and it would be unfair for me to ask them out on a date knowing that I wasn't giving them 100%. That's wrong.

So, I decided to focus on me for awhile. I started working out and eating healthier which has helped me lose 20 pounds and feeling much better. I have more energy now and my self-confidence is even improving. Moreover, I have started writing again and playing my guitar and piano, which is what I do on the side. The pain opened the door to some creativity and that is a healthy outlet to express yourself. I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol during this time. Instead, I turned to God, family and friends.

As for the woman, she felt bad about what happened and so did I. We've had some talks about it and our friendship is still intact. It's not easy, but I care about her and I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than nothing at all. In the meantime, I am continuing to explore self-empowerment and get myself in better shape-physically and mentally. It's not happening overnight, but I'm getting there. So that the next time around when I'm ready for a relationship again, the woman will find a healthier, more confident man who's learned much from the past few months.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  March 5,2010, 10:11am
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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Sounds like a good plan. But, you have stated this before, no? How is this time different? Is it really healthy for you to stay involved with this woman, even as a friend? In your earlier threads, it was clear that you were having a difficult time dealing with the fact that she was dating a "military" man and that she is free to make her own decisions about her dating life...

Best of luck, though; it sounds like you are making some progress. Self-improvement can be hard work, and is most effective if you can be truly honest with yourself about who you are and what you need.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #3  March 5,2010, 2:37pm
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Congrats to you, Beatlejuice, for handling this in a healthy way. I am not familiar with your prior threads so I don't know the back story. I say just keep up the good work and make sure that you aren't letting your friendship with this woman keep you from finding a real relationship when you are ready to date again.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #4  March 7,2010, 6:11pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Does the fact that that women is still in your life as a friend have anything to do with your not having the heart to date another?
You dont have to answer. I just want you to ask yourself that.
Create a void and it will be filled. If you get what I mean?
 
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kanaki is offline kanaki Post #5  March 8,2010, 9:35pm
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is going out for the evening.

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Your approach to healing and taking care of yourself is pretty terrific - when you are ready again you and whoev er you meet will probably be much happier as a result. Everything i have ever read or attended on healthy living recommends exactly what you are doing - so be blessed and discover yourself......have fun
 
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