Facebook friending... Does more make you a better catch or a desperate dater?


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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  February 22,2010, 2:18pm
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OK, so I was up most of Friday night sick and had to keep my mind off the pain. I fluttered around the internet a bit, landing on my facebook page once in a while. I went through my friends' pages, my friends' friends' pages and even some pages of the fans of sites I was a fan of as well. I was surprised at how many “friends” some people have.


I've heard (and now seen) of people having hundreds if not thousands of facebook friends. Are they better dating material than those with lower counts, like myself? Or are they less desirable? Or are they just good at making friends on facebook and have no real connection to those people or people in general?


I have 82 friends currently. Most are co-workers, high school classmates, clients, current real life friends and a few people who decided to befriend me because I am friends on facebook with people they know. Does this “low” number make me less popular and less desirable as a potential date?


I personally will not befriend someone just to befriend them. I don't need some random person being able to access my personal information on my facebook page. I had one match search for me on facebook. He didn't tell me, but mentioned some information that is only posted there. Could my low number of friends have scared him off?


So, folks, what is your facebook friend count? Care to share if you are a high numbers person and get tons-o-dates or if you are a low numbers person and don't get any. The reverse?


What are your opinions on people who have high numbers? Lonely losers looking for links to real people? Or outgoing people magnets just making sure everyone knows they have tons of friends?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  February 22,2010, 4:29pm
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It doesnt matter to me....my number is lower than yours.

I dont go around and collecting friends.


I also will not be friends with people I am just met, or in the initial dates. I prefer my privacy.

I think their is a cap on facebook friends of something like 4000 or 5000. To get above that I think you need special status like someone who is a celeb locally at least (like a radio DJ).
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  February 22,2010, 4:37pm
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Who wants to become friends with Andrea on facebook???? Its not hard to find her
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #4  February 22,2010, 5:04pm
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I have one friend who has over 1,800 Facebook friends, but about 1,770 of them are basically strangers who are part of his "mafia" in Mafia Wars...lol. So, some people rack up friends for reasons that don't have anything to do with being popular or connecting with people in any kind of personal way.

Like you, all of my friends are people I actually know in some way. Plus, I haven't made any effort at all to go out and "friend" people, so my number is probably only half of yours (I mean, I didn't even manage to add my sister until this week...lol).

Anyway, I think that people use Facebook in a lot of different ways, and you can't really make too many assumptions, whether you see that someone has a lot of friends or just a few...
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #5  February 22,2010, 5:18pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
So, folks, what is your facebook friend count? Care to share if you are a high numbers person and get tons-o-dates or if you are a low numbers person and don't get any. The reverse?

What are your opinions on people who have high numbers? Lonely losers looking for links to real people? Or outgoing people magnets just making sure everyone knows they have tons of friends?
Something around 550. High school buddies, college buddies, work friends, church friends... lots of people I know.

I think it's good, because it's important to have a strong social network, even virtually. Plus, you never know who might work where, and can give you a introduction. There are benefits to having a good social network... it's not about what you do, it's about who you know. I view having a high friend count as a positive (unless it's for those stupid Facebook games like Mafia Wars or Farmville... then I lose respect for them).

People who have high numbers? Usually they're very social people, friendly, and outgoing.

And yes, I had a lot of dates before finding the one.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #6  February 22,2010, 6:16pm
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I'm very conservative with FB friending. I started with only my three kids and a close work colleague who had recently retired. The friend list has expanded a bit with some Live Journal friends who found me. There are also some childhood friends of my children who've requested friending - since they were practically part of the family, I did friend them to keep up on the new babies and such. Just checked, and I have less than 20 'friends.'

I do not look for contacts on FB - if I'd wanted to keep in touch with high school or university aquaintances, I would have. I don't look for work colleagues, either. I like keeping my personal life separate from the professional, and have all the privacy walls up so I can speak my mind and not worry about repercussions at work.

I don't use it for networking, just for keeping in touch (a "one-stop" family update site). It cuts down on phone and email time, a matter of convenience.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #7  February 22,2010, 6:36pm
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I think there are some generational differences here, too. I'm with Spider -- Facebook isn't a networking tool for me at all, and I can't envision my ever using it that way. My professional networks are in the "real" world, and have always worked for me very well that way (e.g., people seek me out for work because of my professional reputation and track record, and those are things that are still best conveyed by word of mouth...). That hasn't changed with the advent of social media.

But, I'm finding it to be a nice way to stay in touch with old/good friends and family and exchange info quickly about little bits of our lives.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #8  February 22,2010, 6:45pm
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Hmm...I just had to go look to see how many friends I have. (That sounds kinda funny, doesn't it?!) Anyway, I have 63 FB friends, all of whom I know personally. They tend to be friends from all levels of school from elementary thru grad school, family, or friends I've met through other sources--church, social events, even old jobs.

I do not use my FB page for networking; I do use Twitter for that. I use FB to keep up with the lives of others, particularly friends I don't get to see often. I'm pretty amazed by the people I barely know who send friend requests.

I don't think I've ever looked at a man's FB page before we've gone out. If I look at it after, I don't think it has ever influenced me one way or another. JW doesn't even have one--doesn't really understand why he needs one more computer thing to keep up with.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  February 22,2010, 6:50pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
Who wants to become friends with Andrea on facebook???? Its not hard to find her
That's only because you know my last name and e-mail ami1. Geesh!
 
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gcoleman99 is offline gcoleman99 Post #10  February 22,2010, 7:54pm
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Ha ha... I have more friends than you do! Wait... you go on more dates than I do! Your data is flawed!
 
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