Seriously Flawed: Can I Still Find Love?

Seriously Flawed: Can I Still Find Love?

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Seriously Flawed: Can I Still Find Love?


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sittingbythefire is offline sittingbythefire Post #1  February 21,2010, 4:41pm
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I feel a whole lot better now! How do you tell a date you've been married and divorced twice! Ugh!
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #2  February 21,2010, 10:46pm
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It isn't a casual dates business and if a date asks or insists on bring it up it's rude. It's just not necessary for a casual date to know.

I didn't discuss the details to my past relationships with the exception of my being a widow until I was in a committed relationship with the man I'm now seeing. Actually we talked about ex's at some length last weekend and this weekend and we've been dating off and on for several months, and steadily since December.

So my suggestion-don't bring it up, don't discuss it until the point where you have a lot more going for you than just casually dating.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  February 22,2010, 4:45am
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wrote :
You ask around the Advice discussion boards – yep, nobody likes someone who has whatever issue you have. And they’re very out-spoken and direct about it! That confirms it for you…your issue is an instant, universal big-bad deal-breaker for all time.

LOL! This was funny! I guess they needed a disclaimer.

And I agree with the article. We all have a major flaw. Some of us have many.

I also think it shouldn't be "hidden". People are going to find out (no sex before marriage/waiting longer than the culture, medical conditions, dutch, multiple marriages) so why not just say it? I think the whole point of the article is that if people have a problem with it they will vanish anyway. I know I would.

It can make it harder to find someone, but the article isn't about deceiving people to make yourself more attractive, its about believing that you are lovable no matter if you have "flaws". And that there is someone out there that will agree with you.


 
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latinluvah24 is offline latinluvah24 Post #4  February 24,2010, 11:48pm
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I wish I could find out what my flaw is ..... *sigh*
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  February 25,2010, 11:19am
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sittingbythefire wrote :
I feel a whole lot better now! How do you tell a date you've been married and divorced twice! Ugh!
I would just list your status as divorced. People don't need to know how many times when they first meet you.

This may not even be that big a deal- I wonder how many people would accept someone who had one divorce but not someone with two. I'm sure there are some but I think there are probably more who would have a problem with any number of divorces.

Anyway, don't worry about it, since you can't change the past.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  February 25,2010, 12:59pm
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If that's your worst flaw, relax. Many people have a few relationships behind them.
sittingbythefire wrote :
I feel a whole lot better now! How do you tell a date you've been married and divorced twice! Ugh!
 
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CaptainPhoto is offline CaptainPhoto Post #7  February 25,2010, 3:54pm
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There is someone for everyone. Some of us find them earlier than others, but just keep looking. There is no hurry when you are searching for your soulmate - regardless of the issue!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  February 25,2010, 4:00pm
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I would never date someone with more than one divorce ever again. I would want to know that from the get-go.
 
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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #9  February 25,2010, 4:26pm
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Nanette you sound like your speaking from experience. To me it's a red flag as well, I don't want to be someone's 3rd try. But not everyone holds my view.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  February 25,2010, 7:51pm

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don't feel bad sittingbythefire I would probably be less concerned about 2 divorces than a seemingly confimred bachelor who would never marry. At least, it used be a big red flag to me...I think it wouldn't be anymore, at least compared to other things.
 
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