arriki is offline arriki Post #1  February 20,2010, 4:43am
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I know now that I suffer from very low self esteem, but I can't seem to figure out a way to change. Any ideas?
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #2  February 20,2010, 12:34pm
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Therapy.If that doesn't work, try some self improvement.
arriki wrote :
I know now that I suffer from very low self esteem, but I can't seem to figure out a way to change. Any ideas?
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #3  February 20,2010, 12:49pm
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Confidence is tricky and can mean many things and can apply to many aspects of our life. What do you mean by you have low confidence? Is there any aspect of your life in which you do exude confidence? Is there a particular area where your confidence is in most need?
 
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honeybee81 is offline honeybee81 Post #4  February 20,2010, 1:10pm
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arriki wrote :
I know now that I suffer from very low self esteem, but I can't seem to figure out a way to change. Any ideas?
I also have low self esteem but it gets a little higher every day. I when I was younger I was shy and really did not talk to someone without being talked to first. In high school I had to take a public speaking class it was a prerequisite for a class I wanted to take the next year. The class really opened me up and I enjoyed my last two years of high school because of it. I was still shy in college and yet again had to take a public speaking class; making me a little more comfortable talking in larger crowds. I still turn beet red and sometimes am at a loss for words if I am in front of a large group of people. But at least if I have to talk, I can stand there and calm myself down and start speaking. I also found that self help books and great advice from friends help.
p.s. if you ask friends for advice, a true friend will dig deep and tell you the honest truth and it may not be something you want to hear.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #5  February 20,2010, 3:06pm

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This is really not an appropriate place to try and resolve your low self esteem-we are a bunch of opinionated people, but not specialists in the field of emotional counseling.

You should seek out a qualified therapist to discuss this problem with or if you are religions perhaps a pastor can help you.

Knowing you have low self esteem is a good first step..but you have to make the effort to change yourself-and we can't really tell you how to do that. We don't know anything about you or why you have low self esteem--it's potentially dangerous to take advice from a group of people on the internet....
Please--take care of yourself and seek real help for your issue.
 
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honeybee81 is offline honeybee81 Post #6  February 20,2010, 5:18pm
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Knowing you have low self esteem is a good first step..but you have to make the effort to change yourself-and we can't really tell you how to do that. We don't know anything about you or why you have low self esteem--it's potentially dangerous to take advice from a group of people on the internet....
Please--take care of yourself and seek real help for your issue.
Well I have to agree here, though I sympathize with how you feel about low self esteem . This is not the place to be seeking help with low self esteem. I think that is great you realized you have an issue with low self esteem, it is the first step in a long journey. But it is a good journey, believe me I know.
 
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Well_Spoken_Man1 is offline Well_Spoken_Man1 Post #7  February 20,2010, 9:54pm
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It's all about small victories. When I'm at my most confident, I choose one of my flaws, and try to do something about it. I've found that even the tiniest gains start to add up after a while.

There's a lot about lack of confidence that is fear based for me....not everybody, but for me. When fear is the root, I wait until I've had something go in my favor, and I'm feeling good, then I attack the boogeyman of fear in a particular area of my life that is affected, and before I know it, I feel good about what I did, and better about myself. When I'm set back to the starting line again, I have to start the process all over, but eventually, you start winning small battles.

At the risk of making a stupid male reference.....lol......I look at like this...

Like American football, life is a game of inches, and every inch gained is 2 inches away from an inch lost. Every time you make a small gain, you build confidence, and your self esteem goes up, you start to believe you can do it. Just as you realize that you believe in yourself, things develop in front of you, and suddenly, it's all possible, even for you. Touchdown.

Belief is power.
 
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saturated is offline saturated Post #8  February 21,2010, 6:15am
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Well_Spoken_Man1 wrote :
It's all about small victories. When I'm at my most confident, I choose one of my flaws, and try to do something about it. I've found that even the tiniest gains start to add up after a while.

There's a lot about lack of confidence that is fear based for me....not everybody, but for me. When fear is the root, I wait until I've had something go in my favor, and I'm feeling good, then I attack the boogeyman of fear in a particular area of my life that is affected, and before I know it, I feel good about what I did, and better about myself. When I'm set back to the starting line again, I have to start the process all over, but eventually, you start winning small battles.

At the risk of making a stupid male reference.....lol......I look at like this...

Like American football, life is a game of inches, and every inch gained is 2 inches away from an inch lost. Every time you make a small gain, you build confidence, and your self esteem goes up, you start to believe you can do it. Just as you realize that you believe in yourself, things develop in front of you, and suddenly, it's all possible, even for you. Touchdown.

Belief is power.
Excellent !!
 
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Tipitina is online now Tipitina Post #9  February 21,2010, 7:00am
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I can tell you from personal experience that therapy is very helpful in building one's sense of self-worth/self esteem. Understandably, it can be hard to take the first step in finding a good therapist/counselor.

There are several avenues you can take. As Roxy mentioned, if you belong to a house of worship, a clergy person can be a good resource (many are trained therapists) or can suggest some options for you. Many communities also have hotlines for people in crisis, and even if you're not specifically having a crisis, they maintain lists of counselors you can reach out to. Local universities are also a good source, as are hospitals and perhaps your own doctor. The important thing to remember is that you don't have to be in a crisis/emergency situation to contact any of these sources, so don't feel that your issue isn't 'important enough' to discuss with them. They are there to help.

Another thing to keep in mind is that while there are many good therapists out there, you need to feel comfortable with the person you talk with. (This is beyond the normal feelings of whether you can trust anyone with your feelings. ) Over the course of a couple of sessions, you can get a sense of whether this is someone whose counseling style matches your own needs and expectations.

In any case, knowing that you want to improve your situation is the first step in making positive change, so you're on your way. Good luck!
 
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