One thing I really Want is what all people want: someone that truly wants to be with me and Loves me.


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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #21  February 15,2010, 6:08pm
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nightling wrote :
The capability to love someone seems like a valid criteria to me.

More or less important than quantitative criteria?

How far do you go forward with someone until finding it?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #22  February 15,2010, 6:09pm
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Okay, here's my answer: (I really had to think about this)

If someone uses certain set criteria (like a job or income level, for example) and other things similar to find a mate, there is always the possibility that those circumstances can change, terminating the reason for the relationship. I know that someone can say that they love me, and that that can change, but I believe that if someone really really knows me and loves me (and all of this assumes reciprocity) and assuming that I stay fundamentally the same (all of the characteristics that made them love me in the first place. I'm pretty sure that all of the lovable things about me are static at this point) that person will probably want to be with me the rest of my or their life, and continue to love me for the rest of my or their life.

I think that someone that loves me will love all of the traits that I bring to the table in a relationship. So, I guess in a way it's not feelings based, (but sorta is) and its similar to what you are looking for, only the tangibles are in who that person is, not in money, income, job status or title, or the other stuff like that.

Oh, and the lust factor. Can't forget that. Otherwise they are just a friend.

This is really difficult and I know if I gave it more time I could give an even more elaborate answer. Just in rereading it I can already question some of it. But I'm sure you'll dissect it for me, DL.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #23  February 15,2010, 6:39pm
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D_Lion wrote :
More or less important than quantitative criteria?

How far do you go forward with someone until finding it?

What's with all of this "more or less important" stuff? I'd say it's a must have, that doesn't mean that I can't have other must haves as well. As with any must have, I would proceed with a relationship until I believed that a deal-breaker was present. If I was uncertain if a deal-breaker was present and otherwise interested, I would proceed as long as I felt that more time would allow the matter to become more clear.

To be honest, of all the must haves I can think of, i'd say this one is the least of my worries, for as others have pointed out it's generally more of an emergent property of a relationship than something in and of itself.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #24  February 15,2010, 6:47pm

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Oops, they moved you.

If I had to reduce my needs to a sound bite I would have to go with someone I don't want to change and he doesn't want to change me.

Seems to me love grows easily from that since that is the essence of compatibility. Meh, what would an accountant know about love. I knew I should have gone with psych.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #25  February 16,2010, 5:35pm
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Dunno if this post went through earlier, but I wanna know if D_Lion and Nanette were to have lunch, who would pay.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #26  February 16,2010, 5:39pm

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The check comes and the staring contest begins. I wonder who would cave first??
 
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winn is offline winn Post #27  February 17,2010, 12:32am

Please tell me where I can find a normal man???

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For me to be loved and accepted 100% for who I am is a very strong criteria for me because of my own personal circumstances having to do with my physical limitations. However, the second and just as important criteria is that i will love and accept him fully for who he is as well.
 
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