my5cents is offline my5cents Post #1  February 13,2010, 9:30pm
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Does your matches race matter to you? I'm sure for some it does and for others it doesn't. I just find it interesting that one of my matches has inquired about my particular race. I'm not particularly offended by it, but am wondering why it would be one of the first questions he asks. Typically I have people inquire after they know me and it seems a little more natural that way.

I know certain men and women are attracted to particular races: For some they like Germans, Latinas/Latinos, Japanese, Eastern Europeans, etc. I just wonder for some if it gets really specific where it makes a difference to them.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #2  February 13,2010, 9:43pm
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Not really an issue for me.

I've actually had more of a problem with men assuming I'm a bigot because I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and work a union job. It's usually a pretty rude awakening the first time they let a racial slur fly.

I admit there are a couple of cultures I don't feel comfortable dating, mostly because of the religious differences and their traditions regarding the treatment of women. But if a man wasn't raised in that kind of culture, then it wouldn't be an issue for me.

Race? Doesn't make a difference to me.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  February 13,2010, 9:44pm

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I went through phases. At this point it is important. This is based on correlating race=culture and knowing my core personality, what I offer, how I carry myself, and what women here are looking for or how women interpret my behavior, I feel that I appeal better to Asian women (non-American born)...and maybe non-American women from other countries. I am not sure about Europeans/other countries yet though...my dating experience with them seems to be more normal, person focused, less double standard and less distorted by constant crazy 'rules'.

This is based on reading various posts on ehA, talking to people, and my own experience with EH (and past dating experiences).

Edit: I just saw Chawk's post....Btw..this is NOT to say I am looking for a stereotypical, submissive, 'traditional' Asian women...but if I was given a dime I hear somebody said "I'd be nice for you to marry a nice Asian woman from home" or other things insinuating that I need a demure Asian woman as a partner, I'd be rich by now. But I think there's that feeling of when I talk to women...I am not viewed as a potential romantic partner, maybe because their own baggage of thinking Asian men only want subservient women or my slight accent that make me less 'American' to them...but this was not a problem with International students from other countries.

I had talked about this a while ago and NO this does not mean I am not proud of my Asian heritage. I
Last edited by PY_2; February 13,2010 at 9:54pm.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  February 13,2010, 9:53pm
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my5cents wrote :
Does your matches race matter to you? I'm sure for some it does and for others it doesn't. I just find it interesting that one of my matches has inquired about my particular race. I'm not particularly offended by it, but am wondering why it would be one of the first questions he asks. Typically I have people inquire after they know me and it seems a little more natural that way.

I know certain men and women are attracted to particular races: For some they like Germans, Latinas/Latinos, Japanese, Eastern Europeans, etc. I just wonder for some if it gets really specific where it makes a difference to them.
It matters to me. There are some that I am not attracted to and never have been.

Not as specific as you seem to be talking about though.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  February 13,2010, 10:09pm
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If your profile and/or photos are not clear as to your race, I think it is a natural thing to ask about and does not necessarily mean that the match has any prejudices about race. You might just find that their best friend is of the same race as you and find you already have mutual acquaintances if it's an unusual one for your area. I'm (obviously, from my photo) white, and even with other white guys the subject of ancestry will come up early on... Italian, German, Swedish, etc. family origins. It sometimes gives you a clue as to they type of family they come from and conversation can build from there.

I, personally, do not have any problems with dating outside my race. But just as I find some guys within my own race attractive or not, it is the same if they are of another race... they can be attractive or not to me.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #6  February 13,2010, 10:22pm
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A match's race doesn't matter to me. I try to judge people by what they do, not their race.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  February 13,2010, 10:44pm
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There is a difference with race and nationality/family history and ethnicity.

It doesnt matter to me with race or anything else.

They may have asked you about it because you may have listed in your profile as other and its natural to learn that about you and yourr race and family history.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  February 13,2010, 11:25pm
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I have no problems dating outside my race. Some of my older family members might though. I had some very racist great aunts and uncles. I knew when to keep my mouth shut around them.

I do have a problem with dating those outside of my race that make an issue of it. Just because I don't like one person doesn't mean I don't like everyone within that race.

I do find myself more attracted to men of a particular ethnicity than others.
 
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Well_Spoken_Man1 is offline Well_Spoken_Man1 Post #9  February 14,2010, 12:55am
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What are the people that choose "other" on their profile?

Maybe instead of white non hispanics, they see themselves as "Scottish, or Danish, or maybe there's a category I'm forgetting.

The only others I could think of are maybe Jewish, or an Islander, but not a pacific islander.

On the other hand, I suppose if you didn't offer the "other" box, you'd run a risk of offending someone, somewhere, who wanted to be less general.

I for one, didn't see the box I needed.....the English\Irish\Scottish|French and Portuguese box.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #10  February 14,2010, 1:41am
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i should think his impetus for asking would be pretty specific to him.

i'm mixed race and look asian. i'd say race matters. it has for me in a myriad of ways.
 
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