Would it be weird to...


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  February 12,2010, 11:27pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,122

See profile

I have this habit of mentally trying to fix up a guy that I have no chemistry or attraction to with one of my friends. Not all of my first dates or meets, just the ones where I see potential for a friend. Similar interests, lifestyles, goals, etc.

Not sure if it's just how I am or if I'm trying to get them with someone so they don't want me. I used to hook up friends with friends in high school too. Some even got married! I'm no matchmaker tho.

So, have any of you done this? Has it worked out? If no, what happened? If yes, what happened?

Does anyone think this is really weird and out of line?
 
  Reply With Quote
gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #2  February 12,2010, 11:40pm
gothustartus's Avatar

is thinking about someone special

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

London, England

Posts: 1,753

See profile

It's not weird, but i can see it being ultimately frustrating if you're always fixing up other people and never yourself.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  February 12,2010, 11:52pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,122

See profile

So true! I may have to think about that part of things.

I think I may have found at least one person I want to focus on more. I just hope he wants to focus on me as well.

I don't find it frustrating introducing my friends, whom I love and care for, to men I think they would get along with.

Hmmm, word of the day is.... focus. What do you think, Richey?
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  February 13,2010, 12:06am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,637

See profile

If you have good intentions and you are up front with the guys about the fact you arent attracted to them.

Here is a question for you....if they have alot of these things in common...but you say you dont have chemistry.......what do you call chemistry.....I think its more than just looks alone. If you share alot in common you should at least give it more than just one date to see. Thee are many who will say this that they didnt think much of them the first time they met them but changed after getting to know them more.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  February 13,2010, 6:53am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,668

See profile

I am not going to say that it is weird or out of line.

However, if a friend dated a girl, however briefly, and then tried to get me and her together I would say to myself "she was not 'good enough' for him so why would she be 'good enough' for me ".
 
  Reply With Quote
StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #6  February 13,2010, 7:01am
StuckOnYou's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 803

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am not going to say that it is weird or out of line.

However, if a friend dated a girl, however briefly, and then tried to get me and her together I would say to myself "she was not 'good enough' for him so why would she be 'good enough' for me ".
I would look at it from a slightly different perspective. Sure someone may not be 'good enough', as you put it, for the friend or you, but isn't it just as likely they just didn't click, mesh, whatever you want to call it?
 
  Reply With Quote
Dugl is offline Dugl Post #7  February 13,2010, 8:21am
Dugl's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 441

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
I have this habit of mentally trying to fix up a guy that I have no chemistry or attraction to with one of my friends.
Does anyone think this is really weird and out of line?
No.....but I definitely need better friends.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  February 13,2010, 8:38am
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,122

See profile

ami1, I'm not talking about guys that I have everything in common with. I'm talking about guys that seems to have more of what a certain friend might be looking for. Most of these guys I would characterize as "nice" or "sweet" or "a good guy". Which sucks if he likes me, cause he would never get out of the friend zone with me. But, that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good fit for my friend.

If I have an inkling that there could be chemistry for me and the guy down the road, I don't do this. Ever. I know how I am.
 
  Reply With Quote
vegaschick is offline vegaschick Post #9  February 13,2010, 8:39am
vegaschick's Avatar

cat turds are renewable resources for psychological warfare

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2008

Northern Utah

Posts: 1,250

See profile

I used to end up 'just friends' with a lot of my dates We would go out, have a great time, but realize that in a relationship, we would either kill each other from being too similar or break up hideously due to divergent 'goals' (this mostly had to do with them wanting kids and me not being able to have them). So, yes! I set up a lot of my first dates with other friends and acquaintences. One couple even got married. It all depends on what you are comfortable doing. Will admit that I tended to hate having my friends set me up as I always wondered what crack they were smoking and what they truly thought of me after meeting the guy they thought would be perfect for me Then again, I'm just weird.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #10  February 13,2010, 8:55am

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

Before I dated my ex, I tried to set up a couple of my friends with him. It was not until one friend asked me, "If he is such a great guy, why don't you date him?". It had never crossed my mind to date him until that day. I am glad my friend said something or I probably would not have dated him. He might be my ex but I don't regret dating him at all.

***

My other match up was not so stellar. And it was not really a match up. I just met some random guy when I was out with some co-workers one night. I introduced one of the co-workers to the guy and they hit it off. Turned out, she got pregnant, he was married, she had the baby, he eventually divorced and married her and I believe they are still together. However, there is a huge amount of drama in their lives the last time I talked with my old co-worker.

Needless to say, run if ever introduce you to someone.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« No Children | About You | What's your input on being "traditional" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
we both still feel kind of weird that we met on eH Andrea8823 Dating 38 June 24,2010 9:53am
Ever have weird dreams about dating? eHA_Admin_Lori Dating 32 January 31,2010 1:26pm
Weird things received via e-mail AndieIsMe Dating 15 January 22,2010 6:08pm
Since the interface update ... are you having weird problems? Tom_2010 Using eHarmony 0 January 16,2010 7:02am
Weird Dream islandrain80 About You 10 July 6,2009 8:25am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Just a thought... After reading your post, here's what I picked up on: When I got home last night, I sent him a quick message saying thanks for meeting and how nice it was to meet him. I know he ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “What now?” discussion

“Brokensmile, my heart goes out to you. I have to admit that when I read your other thread, I felt like things were moving in this direction. It's definitely a very unsatisfying place to be because ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“My condolences on the death of your mother. I can't imagine losing my mother at that young an age. It was hard enough at the age of 12, but at the very least I got to know her a bit. My memories now ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Has anyone lost their mother at a young age? How did it change your life?...or did it?” discussion

“Thank you all so much! I appreciate the time you all took to read this story. AND YOU ARE ALL RIGHT!” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“ You said you didn't want anything too serious yet you made out with him. He is likely thinking you are ok with a FWB situation.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Question on casual dating?” discussion

“Not so fast my little blue friend cause I'm winning!!” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“I agree that it sounds like you might want to do a profile review as well as share a sample email that you might send to match. (If you choose to do the latter please just be careful to strip off ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “Email advice” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:56am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0