plantiflora is offline plantiflora Post #1  February 12,2010, 7:17am
plantiflora's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 6

See profile

somehow, I am unable to be just myself with even closest of my friends... the people with whom i want to be friends... circumstantially i am unable to spend quality time because they r not always with me... n those who dont appeal to me ... they hang out with me all the time , i dnt like it(although i dont mind.).. i try to get along with them but i dont enjoy the company .
what cud be the reasons behind it?
- stress because of work ? (its always there....)
- people dont understand me well, or i dont understand them...
- i have the tendency to keep things to myself but i want to share it with a friend ... but even after i share... i am unable to form a close bond ...
why its happening to me? some day i will become cynical like this...
 
  Reply With Quote
EstherLaw is offline EstherLaw Post #2  February 12,2010, 7:57am
EstherLaw's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 9

See profile

I'd say you're scared that people will reject you if they knew the real you.

Makes the most sense to me based on what you said. You hide your true self from those you admire because their opinion matters to you and you'd be crushed if they rejected your true self.

You end up hanging out with people you don't really like because THEY took the initiative and invited you so obviously, they DO like you and you aren't taking any risks here at all of being rejected.

My simple advice is to accept the fact that you WILL get rejected at some point in life. That's a natural part of life. Everyone gets rejected in life several times. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. You're just a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It's not a comfortable situation for the peg OR the whole. Square pegs are important and really handy...in square holes. If you REALLY want to fit in that round hole, start sanding down those corners of yours first.
 
  Reply With Quote
eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  February 12,2010, 9:26am
eHA_Admin_Lor…'s Avatar

My one wish for you, is love. :)

Moderator

Joined: Nov 2008

Santa Monica, CA

Posts: 5,120

See profile

I'm sorry you're struggling with this.

Have you had any close friendships in the past where you felt comfortable? If so, what's different about that friendship vs. the ones you have today?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Men: what did your mother teach you about love? | About You | Ok, so here is a picture of me. For one night only. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
She's threatening to leave if I go on vacation. RobP1977 Relationships 122 January 16,2010 6:28pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Just a thought... After reading your post, here's what I picked up on: When I got home last night, I sent him a quick message saying thanks for meeting and how nice it was to meet him. I know he ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “What now?” discussion

“Brokensmile, my heart goes out to you. I have to admit that when I read your other thread, I felt like things were moving in this direction. It's definitely a very unsatisfying place to be because ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“My condolences on the death of your mother. I can't imagine losing my mother at that young an age. It was hard enough at the age of 12, but at the very least I got to know her a bit. My memories now ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Has anyone lost their mother at a young age? How did it change your life?...or did it?” discussion

“Thank you all so much! I appreciate the time you all took to read this story. AND YOU ARE ALL RIGHT!” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“ You said you didn't want anything too serious yet you made out with him. He is likely thinking you are ok with a FWB situation.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Question on casual dating?” discussion

“Not so fast my little blue friend cause I'm winning!!” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“I agree that it sounds like you might want to do a profile review as well as share a sample email that you might send to match. (If you choose to do the latter please just be careful to strip off ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “Email advice” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 8:55am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0